


When You Fall You Pick Yourself Back Up

by GingerbreadPopSolo



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arianna and Eugene needed more interaction with each other, Experiment gone wrong, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, How Do I Tag, I THINK YOU CAN SPOT WHERE THE CANON IS STARTING TO DIVERGE CAN YOU SEE IT YET, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm a sucker for mythology in general, I'm changing the rating because I'm paranoid, Nightmares, No Beta, Not The Way You Think Though, Please tell me if i'm doing something wrong, Probably not needed but just to be safe, Quest for Varian coming soon dont worry, Rapunzel Finally Makes an Appearance, Snarky Varian, Tagging as I go, That's right, VARIAN NEEDS A FRIEND, Varian (Disney) Has Issues, Varian (Disney) Redemption, Varian Deserves Better, Varian is So Done, WE MADE IT TO QUEST FOR VARIAN GUYS, We're at THAT point now, What was in Xavier's tea?, author is just slow, celtic mythology - Freeform, cookies make a comeback, he tries, hello darkness my old friend, how did i forget that one, i also wrote part of this chapter at midnight nbd, send help, seriously that bit in QFAD was not enough for me, spoilers in tags!, technically?? - Freeform, the world may never know, this is my first fic i have zero idea what im doing, varian needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 48,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerbreadPopSolo/pseuds/GingerbreadPopSolo
Summary: Varian's attempt of getting help from the princess was a failure, but he clings onto hope. Rapunzel is his friend after all, surely she won't forget him? Regardless, he tries to remain optimistic as he searches for a way to free his Dad.The events between QFaD and SotSd and its aftermath from the perspective of a boy who cared too much.*Writing improves over the course of this fic. Once I find the time I will go back and correct any mistakes I have made in my writing. This fic has allowed me writing style to grow, change, and improve. Thank you for sticking with me on the wild ride.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in my Google Docs and decided to post it. I had written two and a half chapters but lost the original outline so I'm creating a new one. I edit everything myself so it takes a while for me to post things. I hope you like it!

_Varian ran through the snow into his house. Panting heavily, he closed the door. “Dad, Dad! The princess refused to help but I--” He stopped, staring in horror at the amber overtaking his lab, his dad entrapped in the process. “...Dad?” he choked out._  
_He ran towards the amber. “Oh no. oh no no no no NO NO!” He pounded against the amber repeatedly. “DAD! DAD! NO NO NO!” he sobbed._  
_After a few minutes, he wiped away his tears. “Don’t… Don’t worry Dad. I’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise. I will… I will make you proud. I’ll get the answers and set you free, don’t you worry. Whatever it might take, I’ll keep finding a way. I swear, right now, that no matter what comes of me! Anybody who stands or has stood in my path, they are going to pay!” He knelt to the ground once more. “They will pay.”_  
____________________________________ ___________________

The fire that had fueled his veins seemingly moments ago burnt out. Varian didn’t know how long he had lied there, motionless against the amber. It comforted him, in an oddly twisted way. Nothing but the wind blowing outside the house and Rudiger’s soft chitters could be heard. It was peaceful. So… peaceful. This… this wasn’t fair! How could… How could everything be so peaceful! His father, his Dad, trapped in that horrible amber, and everything around him had the gall to act like everything is fine! Just as his world was torn apart!  


He screamed in rage and frustration as he pounded against the amber, a small part of him hoping that he could break it, before curling back into himself in defeat. His hands trembled at the brunt force he applied to them. His mind replayed the events at the palace; the trek, entering the castle, pleading to Rapunzel “Please you have to help me! The rocks, they’re encasing my Dad!”, how she just stood there as he was literally dragged out of the castle and thrown in the snow, finding his Dad—  


A sorry mix between a sob and a laugh climbed out of his throat. What… What difference would it have made if Rapunzel had gone with him? If anything, bringing the princess would have slowed him down. He would have never made it in time anyway. A terrible realization crept into his brain the longer he thought about it. Rapunzel… she said that the kingdom was in a state of emergency. She never said she wouldn’t help him, it was more like she couldn’t help him. Not at that moment.  


He thought about Rapunzel’s face as he was dragged away by the guards. Rapunzel didn’t look resigned or pitying for Varian’s situation, she stood there quite literally in shock. How could this be Rapunzel’s fault? Bile rose in his throat, it wasn’t Rapunzel’s fault at all, it was his. Rapunzel didn’t disobey his father’s command, that was him. She didn’t perform alchemy behind his Dad’s back, he did. She didn’t trap his Dad in the amber, it was him.  


It was all his fault. The guilt and realization crushed him. If he had just listened! If he had stayed away from the rocks like he was supposed to then none of this could have happened! Varian’s breathing quickened as his mind drew more and more conclusions. Just because the amber was a result of toying with the black rocks didn’t mean Rapunzel had any connection to it, the chances of her being able to help were slim! Oh so slim, but the chance was still there.

Varian pulled off his glove and bit down hard, an action he did when things got too overwhelming for him. Rapunzel couldn’t come right then, but what about after the storm? She promised she would help him, just because she couldn’t come right then who’s to stop her from coming after? What if she came and there was nothing she could do? Would she abandon him altogether? Would she tell him it’s his problem, go fix it? He couldn’t! He needed help! He was just a—

Varian slowly put his glove back on and stared at the unforgiving amber. A heavy silence weighed down on his shoulders. He was just a kid. His Dad had been right all along, just as he always was. Varian was fourteen, he couldn’t do what a man in his twenties could do. He couldn’t do what his Dad could do. His Dad knew if he was ready for some information or not, but did it make it right? Was keeping it a secret from everyone, not just him, right? If it helped his village, why not tell them? Unless what he knew couldn’t help them at all.

Well, now he really couldn’t help them. Rudiger stroked his cheek, chasing away the last bit of tears from his face, but Varian hardly noticed. Had he just doomed his kingdom, his home, to destruction? Surely his father wouldn’t leave the kingdom hanging like that, right? Staring intently at the amber, Varian’s eyes took in every single detail of his Dad, searching and scanning for answers or some kind of sign. Varian stopped, a piece of paper clutched tightly in his Dad’s hand.

Filled with new purpose, Varian rushed to what was left of his workbench. He needed to break the amber, just because the rocks were unbreakable didn’t make the amber so! He needed to free his Dad, or at least break away enough if it that he could grab that scroll! Rudiger scurried behind him, chattering with excited energy. He would start small, with a pickaxe or a hammer. If that didn’t work, he’d scale it up, surely one of them has to work.

And Rapunzel! She could be coming at any moment! Either the next five minutes or (he’d hope not) five weeks, but she’ll be here. She promised. Rapunzel doesn’t break her promises. It might be a while but Varian can handle himself for that long surely. He had Rudiger to remind him to eat, just as he had before in the past. He’ll be fine!

At least he thinks.

Grabbing the first tool on the table, a saw, he attacked the amber with great enthusiasm. Trying to saw away the stubborn pieces of orange rock. The saw dulled after a few minutes of trying. “Ok, so the saw didn’t work. That’s fine! We can work with this. We have plenty of materials to choose from!” He tossed the dull saw away and picked up Ruddiger. “Time is of the essence Ruddy, out of everything, something has to give, either to tools or stones or alchemy...”

Varian trailed off from his sentence, placing Rudiger on the workbench he sat down and thought. Did he really want to try alchemy again? What if that made things worse? Worse? Things couldn’t get worse. He thought bitterly. If only Rapunzel didn’t... Varian shook the thoughts away. He couldn’t use Rapunzel as a scapegoat. If he was ever going to prove to his Dad that he could trust him to do anything, he had to own up to his mistakes. After all, what is alchemy but a series of mistakes until you get the desired results?

Taking one of his hammers off the wall, he smacked it against the amber with renewed vigor. After the third hit, the hammer broke apart, the amber still perfectly intact. Varian glared at the broken hammer in his hands. He sighed tiredly, looking over to his workbench to see Rudiger fast asleep. His own eyelids threatened to close before Varian smacked himself in the face. “No! Don’t fall asleep, Dad’s depending on you... and I’m talking to myself.” Varian’s knees buckled under his weight and he landed on the amber. Maybe he was more tired than he thought.  


Two voices roared in his head, one desperately begging for him to stay awake, the other calmly informing him he’d do a better job if he had some rest. If you’re tired, then you’re more likely to make some mistakes. A voice sounding a lot like Dad echoed in his mind. You’ll work more efficiently once you’ve had some rest. Rest… rest sounded really good right now if he was honest. But Dad could be dying! He needed to…  
Varian never got to complete his thought, for his hand slipped on the amber and his head came crashing down.


	2. Navigating Uncharted Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian learns how to live without his Dad while searching for a way to free him; discovering something along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to wait so here you go!

Varian woke up cold. _Cold? Why was he cold?_ Dad always keeps the furnace running during the winter. Colors and shapes blurred together as he opened his eyes. Blearily, he blinked the wetness in his eyes away, frowning in confusion when he saw his lab. Had he fallen asleep inventing again? Dad wouldn’t be too happy about that, but that didn’t explain why he was _so cold._ He shivered as he tried to right himself, propping against the wall… wasn’t his lab bigger than this? Where was his Dad? He’d usually be up by now.

The wall felt bumpier than it should, Varian turned to look in confusion before stopping completely. A giant wall of amber, with his Dad inside, took over almost a third of his lab. Yesterday’s events flashed quickly in his mind. He had hoped that it was just a bad dream, that he’d wake up to his Dad shaking him awake to get started on the day. Clearly, it was just wishful thinking.

Varian shivered again before forcing himself to walk upstairs. His clothes were soaked from melted snow and the lack of heat from the furnace didn’t help at all. Opening the small closet, he grabbed a bunch of firewood and placed a fifth of it into the furnace. He needed to make his firewood stretch, he couldn’t go chopping firewood himself. He struck the wood with a match and lit it on fire. A pleasant heat warmed his freezing hands.

He forced himself to stay at least a foot and a half away from the fire, he didn’t need to accidentally burn his hands, then what use would he be? Rudiger emerged from the chilly lab and curled next to Varian as he sat by the fire. Varian smiled at the raccoon and petted him softly. “It’s just us, huh buddy,” he whispered. A sense of loneliness and dread sprouted in his chest. Varian knew he wasn’t alone technically, but the thought of being the only moving person in Old Corona sent chills down his spine.

His thoughts wandered back to the villagers. Had they made it out ok? Were they looking for him and his Dad? Or did they fly the coop and didn’t look back? A strange resentment for the villagers flickered in his heart. Did they truly not care about his father enough to look for him? He knew that the villagers tolerated Varian himself, but were mostly afraid. Did the rumor of him being a wizard finally scare them off when his Dad never returned?

Varian frowned at the thoughts and turned his attention to the amber. It wasn’t growing anymore that he could tell, but it was possible that a week from now the amber could grow even larger. It could take over the house! He’d just have to wait and see, something that didn’t sit well in his stomach at all.

The hammer and the saw didn’t work, so the pickaxe probably wouldn’t either. He just needed to think bigger. Maybe he could build a battering ram? But he could hurt Dad in the process and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. Rudiger’s chirping brought him back down to earth.

The raccoon ran back and forth between the hall of the living room and the kitchen, but Varian didn’t have much of an appetite. He waved off Rudiger with a small smile. “No thanks buddy, I’ll eat later.” Rudiger cocked his head, as if saying _Are you sure?_ Varian turned his face back to the fire. “I’m sure, pal.”

He stayed there for a while before hearing clanging from the kitchen. Varian rushed to the kitchen to see Rudiger surrounded by pots and pans, holding an apple from the harvest in his paws. He sighed in relief and picked up the small mammal. “You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Varian chuckled quietly. He half-expected his Dad to walk in the kitchen and ask what was going on, but the halls were silent.

Rudiger must have noticed his change of mood. He held out the apple for Varian to take. He placed Rudiger on the table before sitting down himself. “It’s ok, Rudiger. You can have it. I’m not hungry.” Rudiger, stubborn as his boy, pushed the apple in Varian’s lap. Varian groaned in good nature before finally taking the apple, much to Rudiger’s delight. “Fine, you win,” He cheered, pretending to make a toast before taking a bite.

____________________________________________________________

The next few weeks were often like this. He kept trying to free his Dad, worrying that he might not be fast enough, but eventually giving in to taking his time. If he rushed this, he could hurt Dad or worse. The hope that Rapunzel or Cassie or even Fl—Eugene started to dwindle, but Varian remained optimistic. They were probably just busy, they wouldn’t forget about him, right?

He frowned at the nearly empty pantry. Save for a few pieces of salted pork, some apples, and a measly bag of flour, their rations were almost gone. “That’s fine,” he whispered under his breath. “We’ll just go to the market; Dad has to keep the money somewhere.”

He shut the door and walked upstairs. He passed his room. Varian had barely slept in that room save for the coldest nights. He was immensely thankful that Corona’s winters were brief, and that this week was hopefully the last of it. He stopped in front of his Dad’s room; he’s never entered there before. It was an unspoken rule between the two of them, their bedrooms were their safe spaces, if they needed something, they would knock on the door but never entered.

Varian’s stomach let out a small growl. He sighed. Dad would want him to get something to eat, but to do that he needed money... money that was most likely stored in his bedroom. “Sorry Dad,” Varian apologized before entering his father’s bedroom.

His father’s bedroom wasn’t unlike his own, ultimately more windows and definitely more organized yes, but more or less the same minus a few personal details. Varian shivered at the sudden draft from the windows. “Goodness Dad, how do you sleep in here?” he muttered to himself as he stepped inside. His stomach churned at the action. It just seemed wrong. He took light steps, constantly looking over his shoulders as if his Dad would pop in at any moment to scold him for snooping in his room. Not snooping, he told himself. This is necessary.

Who was he kidding? This was totally snooping, but what choice did he have?

His eyes travelled around the not-really-forbidden-but-totally-forbidden room. His chest clenched up when he spotted a painting hanging between the windows. It was him, when he was a baby, being held by Mom and Dad. Varian didn’t remember much of his mom, she disappeared when he was six, but he could remember the warmth in her voice and her gentle touches. A soft melody filled his head but the words long forgotten.

Dad used to sing the lullaby too, but when he turned seven, he just… stopped. Tucking Varian became automatic instead of the cherished nightly ritual it had been. Dad smiled more back then too. Varian didn’t realize how far they had been pushed apart from each other until that moment. A few stray teardrops fell onto the floor of the room.

Wiping his eyes, Varian resumed his quest. He tried to respect Dad’s privacy and search thoroughly for the money, but he couldn’t do both. Eventually, the need outweighed the want and he began looking in dressers and under the covers. Just as he was about to accept defeat, he tripped over something and slammed on the floor. One of the floorboards came loose and revealed a sack of gold pieces.

Varian whooped in joy and grabbed the bag tightly in his fists, careful to not let the bag tear or spill. Twisting behind him to see what caused his great fortune, he nearly smacked himself in the face when he saw it was a chest. “It’s so big! How did I miss that?” he scolded himself. His hand landed on the lock before freezing.

He had his gold. He could go to the market tomorrow when it opened for the season; there was no reason to look inside. Varian stayed rooted to the spot. It was one thing to look for money, a necessity, but this was a complete invasion of privacy! And yet…

Varian couldn’t help but wonder if this chest had anything to do with the rocks. Could the scroll in Dad’s hand been a map to find the chest? The whole idea sounded like something out of one of his Flynn Rider books. _Then again, so does a princess with seventy feet of magical blonde hair,_ he mused. Before he could investigate further, his stomach growled again, burning as if on fire.

Varian nearly doubled over in pain. The chest could wait. He needed food before he starved himself to death. Reluctantly, he moved out of Dad’s room and made a beeline for the nearly empty pantry. He opened the door to find Rudiger sleeping among the apples. Shaking his head, he pulled out an apple and the last of the salted pork. The chest nagged at him in the back of his mind. Should he investigate? Dad would probably be ticked off if he found out Varian went snooping in his room when there was no need _. But it’s not like Dad is here to tell you off anyway,_ the nasty voice in his head whispered again.

He must have been standing there too long. The apple he held in his hand nearly bruised from how hard Varian was clutching it. _Note to self: Make something to squeeze (or throw) when frustrated and/or stressed._ Rudiger awoke from his slumber and sauntered off to the table, sitting in front of the spot Varian usually sat at.

Varian closed the pantry door and walked over to his furry friend. Now that he could see Rudiger properly, his heart sank as he noticed his friend lost a little weight. He tried to split the food so they’d both be ok, but it was obviously taking a toll on both of them. Even though he’d refuse to admit it, his own clothes felt a little looser than normal.

They definitely needed to go to the market tomorrow.

After splitting the _(it shouldn’t really be called)_ meal, Varian watched the sun go down from the window as he picked at his pork. He tried to focus on it, or start thinking of plans with alchemical equations to break down the amber, but his thoughts always wandered back to the chest in Dad’s room. It was as if… it was as if something was drawing him to it. Shoving the last of the pork in his mouth, he made up his mind.

Rudiger chirped curiously and scrambled up Varian’s torso, perching on his shoulder. Varian relaxed a little at the action, the familiarity eased his nerves...at least a little bit. “I got this,” He said to his furry friend, forcing his voice to sound confident. “I can do this, it’s just a chest. Just a little peek, if there’s nothing about the rocks we’ll leave.”

Rudiger stroked Varian’s cheek. Varian thanked whoever was out there that Rudiger stumbled upon his animal trap that day. If he hadn’t, he was sure that he would have gone insane by now. Climbing up the stairs, the air had an odd chill in it. Not in the temperature, but the mood of the house went from light and excited, to empty and hollow, and now dark and gloomy.

Varian noticed things in the house that he never really noticed before. The creaking of the wooden floors, the cobwebs in the corners of the walls (he needed to fix that soon), all he needed was a hall full of creepy paintings and Varian could swear upside down that his house was possibly haunted, or at least inhabited by something of the supernatural.

He entered Dad’s bedroom again, his stomach sinking down to his feet. Something in the room felt wrong, but he chalked it off as nerves. Focusing on the chest, he made a beeline towards it and kneeled down. Varian brushed dust off the top, taking in the texture of the old wood and rusted metal. He ran his fingers over a symbol carved into wood, wondering if he’s ever seen it before.

Taking a deep breath and a leap of faith, he opened the chest. Varian’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, there were so many cool things in here! A helmet with the same symbol on the middle of the forehead grabbed Varian’s attention first. Had Dad known a knight? Could _Dad_ had been a knight? Why didn’t he tell him?

Varian sighed and put it back. This chest was yet another one of Dad’s secrets. Secrets, secrets, so many secrets! Why couldn’t his Dad trust him for once? It’s not like he would blab to the whole world who his father was and what he had done! He trusted his Dad with everything! Now, he keeps all these secrets from him, _lied straight to the king’s face_ _—_

Varian clamped his hands to his mouth in horror, startling Rudiger off his shoulders. How…How could he think of his Dad like that? He’d sacrificed himself so Varian wouldn’t be where he himself was right now! It’s not like he was the only person he had doubts about now either. Varian was starting to wonder if Rapunzel really did forget about him.

Taking shaky breaths, _(Trying not to think about the others abandoning him)_ he dug through the old chest again. Besides, just because Rapunzel could have possibly forgotten him _(He was just a boy from Old Corona after all)_ Cassie wouldn’t forget him. She gave him the ribbon and helped him clean up the science expo after all! They had talked about various things in those few hours, and walked away feeling lighter than before _(at least he did anyway)._ Had Cassie only been indulging him?

No, he refused to believe that. She said he was her friend. She wouldn’t give up on him.

Varian pulled out a dusty scroll, it was torn down the middle but in otherwise good condition. He unrolled it; his anxieties lay buried underneath the excitement of mystery the scroll contained. His heart leapt in his chest, there was writing in a language he’s never seen before, but he was more focused on the pictures. It appeared to be the black rocks on one side of the page, with the moon looking down on them, but the other.

It was the Sundrop! The flower that healed the Queen and gave Rapunzel her legendary healing powers! _“The rocks are demonstrating an actual physical response; to you.”_ His words almost a lifetime ago rang through his head. Of course! Somehow these rocks were connected to the Sundrop!

His excitement died a little. He needed Rapunzel more than ever now. Something tells him that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

**_Little did he know that he was right._ **


	3. Flash Flood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between the scroll and his Dad's encasement, Varian is curious and worried. Going to the market should give him the fresh air he needs to think properly. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write this story when I have free time for fun. So updates will be irregular. Constructive criticism is welcome

Varian’s eyes threatened to droop the longer he forced himself to stay awake. The scroll’s discovery kept him up for most of the night, entranced by the mystery inside. A part of Varian was excited, another mystery to unravel? A possibility of teaming up with the princess and her _(possibly his?)_ friends? Possible danger lurking in every corner? For someone like him, an adventure similar to The Tales of Flynnigan Rider was a dream come true!

Only… the other part was terrified. His head was in way too deep, having trouble staying afloat. The more he searched, the more answers to horrible questions he would find; along with even more questions to add to the mix. Did he really want to know how Dad knew about the rocks? Did he want to know about Dad’s past? _Did he ever really know his Dad?_

Everything felt too real. There was a difference about knowing the dangers and experiencing them. The alchemist could easily tell you that, given the many close calls he had with his experiments. But those experiences gave him a thrill, being able to do so much with so little was empowering. The thrill of this didn’t exist. Instead of the addicting adrenaline of alchemy, a sense of foreboding weighed heavy on his mind.

He had stayed up hours into the night, staring at the scroll as if it held the answers to the universe. Dark circles hung under his eyes. If he had the energy, he would have probably scolded himself for doing so, but he couldn’t. He rolled out of his bed and trudged downstairs, his goggles askew and hair a mess. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something glowing, but when he turned, all he saw was himself.

Shaking his head, he walked on to the kitchen. Rudiger laid on the table, rolling around the last couple apples as some sort of toy. It was adorable... and a waste of food. “C’mon Ruddy, that’s the last of our supplies. We’ll get more when we go to the market today, then I’ll make you a toy so you can play to your heart’s content,” he tried to explain to the raccoon. Rudiger tilted his head before rolling one of the apples to Varian, but made no move to eat his own.

Normally Varian would be concerned, but the winter had finally died off in the night and it was possible for Rudiger to scavenged early morning. Varian checked the sundial outside a nearby window. It read noon. Crap. The market closes at two and the trip to the market takes an hour on foot! Swearing under his breath, he ran upstairs and tried to brush his poor hair and grab the money sack. He power-walked back downstairs and pulled his boots on in the kitchen.

Varian stared longingly at the apple on the table. “You’ll get something at the market,” he told himself as he walked away and ran outside. Opening the shed, he grabbed a wheelbarrow and placed the sack inside it. Rudiger joined him a few seconds after, chittering happily as he climbed into the wheelbarrow with his precious apple. Varian smiled, petting Rudiger before taking off.

\--------------------------------------------------

His feet screamed in protest as he finally reached the market in Corona’s capital. If he read the sun right, he had forty-five minutes left to replenish his stores. Sighing in relief, he leaned against one of the buildings and sank to the ground. Rudiger chirped in worry, stroking his boy’s cheek. Varian smiled at the gesture. “It’s ok pal, just a little tired. Nothing I can’t handle.” He allowed himself to rest for another few minutes before standing up.

He grabbed the wheelbarrow handles fiercely. “Whew! Ok! Game plan time, I definitely need to get some more fruits and vegetables; our hanging garden won’t be ready to harvest from until next month. I’ll also get a few dairy products, they’re probably a bit pricey because it’s the first day, but it’s a worthy sacrifice. As for meat…” he shuddered. Just the thought of _intentionally_ killing an animal twisted his stomach inside out. “We can just dial it back or barter, meats are always expensive.”

He along with the other early birds of the season wandered from booth to booth. Varian struggled a bit at first, the prices of everything were terribly high and he had nothing to barter with yet, but the more he kept at it the better he got _(or maybe they pitied him)_. Varian’s pride took big hits; he never was one to ask for help. His worry for Dad kicked his ego to the side when he asked Rapunzel to come with him _(Help that never came)_. Logic told him that their pity helped him stay alive, but he couldn’t help but feel resentful over it. He wasn’t useless! He could barter just as much as anyone else could!

Speaking of Rapunzel… he was in the capital, maybe he could see her! She could come help! Or at least send Cassie or Eugene to help. That lifted his mood a bit. After he got his food, he’d go see the princess. Rudiger climbed out of the wheelbarrow almost full with food and crawled onto Varian’s shoulder, stroking his cheek again to bring him back down to earth. It was a good thing too, he nearly swerved into someone.

“Watch where you’re going!” The man snarled, gripping his basket tightly. Varian flinched and raised his hands protectively with Rudiger perched on his shoulder hissing.

“I’m… I’m sorry sir… I didn’t… I didn’t mean—”

“Spit it out, boy! I’m busy today!” the man’s eyes flashed in _(not so hidden)_ fury. It was in this moment Varian recognized him as the advisor that was with Rapunzel. Hurt flashed white and hot as he recalled the advisor was the one that told the guards to kick him out of the castle. Varian took a deep breath and steeled himself.

“Forgive me sir, the last few weeks have been hard for me. I’ll move out of your way.” He quickly moved his wheelbarrow out of the Advisor’s range, nodded respectfully _(despite the hurt)_ and turned around.

“Wait!”

Varian stopped despite his instincts telling him to run. He didn’t do anything wrong, so why was he so worried? He turned around, forcing himself to look the man in the eye. He could feel the disgust rolling off the man in waves. “I remember you,” the advisor drawled. “You’re the brat that attacked the princess.”

What?!

Varian sputtered in disbelief. “Attacked?! I didn’t...I did no such thing! I was asking for he—”

“You grabbed the princess when she couldn’t help you!”

Gasps erupted from the forming crowd. Varian’s heart beat wildly, his knuckles turned white from gripping the wheelbarrows handles. He didn’t know what to do! This sprang out of nowhere and was escalating much too quickly. His gaze shifted anxiously around the crowd, not one of them looked friendly at the moment. “You’re…You’re taking it out of context. I would never attack her! She’s my frie—”

“You say that but how do we know you’re telling the truth?” he accused. “Several people want to call the princess a friend. Did it occur to you that she was only being friendly?”

Varian’s mouth went dry. Any protests he had were lodged in his chest. He could barely register the growing noise until something wet hit his face. He jumped in surprise at the contact, only then taking in the yells.

Everyone was screaming at him to leave, _to go_. _You’re not wanted here_. People threw old fruit and laughed when they hit their mark. He searched wildly for an exit but he seemed blocked on every turn. His heart pounded in his chest; his breathing frantic. He felt like a cornered animal backed against a wall. There was no Dad to play savior and calm the masses. There would be no help from the guards if they believed the rumors. He was alone.

No longer thinking of the consequences and filled with the desire to escape, He bolted through the unruly crowd, shoving people aside as he went. Taunts and name calling echoed after him but he paid no heed. He needed safety, he needed home. His lungs burned and his legs throbbed but he wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t stop.

Varian’s need to escape clouded his mind. He didn’t notice when paved walkways turned into forest paths. Nor did he notice when tall trees with fresh leaves slowly gave way to shrubs. His feet pounded against the ground, propelling him forward and—

He was surrounded by black rocks again, standing in front of his house. Varian gasped for breath and kneeled onto the firm ground. The wheelbarrow filled with food lay forgotten next to him. Other than the whistling of the wind, there wasn’t a sound to be heard.

Rudiger watched his boy, slowly walking to him. He chittered softly but Varian gave no response. Silent tears cascaded down the boy’s face, but there was nothing Rudiger could do but wipe them away. He sat in Varian’s lap, purring quietly until the tears stopped.

They didn’t stop for a long time.


	4. Keeping Your Head Above The Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian has a few close calls and finds something intriguing in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogue near the end is taken directly from the series. I also apologize for the long wait, I write for fun when I can. I have a clear goal for where I want this story to go and I am excited to share it with you all. I just need patience. Thank you for your time

He was exhausted. Varian had spent the last month switching between researching and experimenting ways to free his father, and deciphering the old scroll. At the current moment, he focused on the former. He stared in frustration at the empty page, its very existence mocking him. He glanced to the end of the table where Rudiger curled into a fluffy ball.

Varian snorted in amusement. Placing his pencil down and removing his gloves, he dug his fingers into Rudiger’s fur. Contrary to what he believed, raccoon fur was soft and dense… at least underneath the guard hairs. Rudiger purred in contentment before stretching out and leaping off the table. Varian rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a cat sometimes.”

Rudiger made no move to show offense at the statement.

Sighing, Varian walked over to the amber. His measurements and experiments showed it stopped growing rapidly. If there was any growth, it wouldn’t affect much until many years in the future…if it stuck around that long. “Hey Dad,” he whispered. Only the clicking of Rudiger’s claws on the ground reached his ears, as expected. “I’m…I’m trying. I really am, it’s just _so hard_ and no one wants to help me and…” his words died off as he righted himself. “My letters still haven’t been answered…I think the castle might have black listed me… heh… so much for _‘friendship’.”_ He crossed his arms and leaned on the amber.

“I tried sneaking to the market again, to you know, buy _food._ But apparently, I’m not allowed _that_ luxury.” Varian shivered in remembrance as the townspeople wasted fruit and vegetables just to try and nail him in the head. “It wasn’t pleasant.”

Varian leaned against the amber for a few moments before sighing. “I was wondering… once you’re free, do you think we could go out and try to find Mom?” Varian removed his goggles from his head and ran his fingers over them. “She isn’t dead, we both know that. She just, disappeared.” He looked away from the goggle and stared up at the ceiling.

“I just want to have a happy fami—”

The lab trembled as yet another sprout of black rocks erupted from the floor, nearly taking Varian’s arm off in the process. He shouted in surprise, stumbling backwards and tripping over a small piece of amber. His head slammed against the floor. Varian groaned in pain, clutching his head. “Stupid rocks,” he spat. “You’re just glorified miniature mountains.” He glared at the new rocks invading his lab.

“ _I’m watching you,”_ he hissed.

The new rocks remained just as inanimate as the others.

Grunting in frustration, he shakily hoisted himself up and grabbed his desk for balance. “Hope you enjoyed the show,” he huffed to no one in particular. He reached towards his pencil again, only to have his hand pushed away by Rudiger as he jumped back on the desk. “Wh— hey!”

Rudiger glared and chittered unhappily before stealing the pencil and running off. Varian sputtered indignantly before chasing the rogue creature upstairs. “Rudiger wait! I need that!” he hollered after him. Rudiger ignored him, choosing to climb up the next set of stairs instead.

Varian followed him reluctantly, already seeing where this was going. He walked down the hallway to his room and lo and behold, Rudiger laid on top of his bed with the pencil in his mouth. Varian sighed. “Rudiger, I can’t go to sleep right now. I have too much to do.”

Rudiger glared him, chittering with displeasure. Varian squirmed. For being a raccoon, Rudiger displayed some very human characteristics. Really, without him Varian would have either run himself into the ground or died doing some incredibly stupid things. Believe him, he’s done some _really_ stupid things.

Deciding to face the music, he gave into exhaustion.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rough pounding at the front door stirred Varian from his slumber. For a brief moment, Varian foolishly thought that it could be Rapunzel, only for reality to rear its ugly head. No, this couldn’t be Rapunzel or any of her party crew. This knock was forceful, powerful, almost authoritarian. It wasn’t quick, hurried knocks if someone had been worried or feared for him.

These people meant business, and Varian was concerned what that business was.

His observations were proven correct with a muffled _“Open this door!”_ from the area of knocking. Varian contemplated staying in his room and jumping out the window if they managed to get in, but he discarded the thought quickly. Unlike Rapunzel, he did _not_ have over seventy feet of unbreakable hair. To jump from his bedroom window to the ground would equal a near hundred percent chance of death. _If_ he survived, he would most likely either paralyze himself from the waist down, break both of his legs, or both. He doubted he could be much use to his dad in that condition.

Varian’s stomach dropped down to his feet. His _Dad. **The SCROLL.**_ Varian’s body shook with fear. That scroll is his only key to free his dad! If it fell into the wrong hands…

He didn’t need to worry for long though. The invaders, finding _(Seemingly)_ no one home had left. _Or broke in,_ his mind helpfully supplied. Thanks mind.

Still shaken and ashen in face, he wandered downstairs. He grabbed the fireplace poker from the wall and slowly made his way to the foyer, clinging to the wall. Not a thing was out of place that he could see. He checked several rooms, confidence building with every cleared room. The one room he was concerned the most however, was his lab.

He swallowed the small amount of bile that decided to come up for the occasion. They probably wouldn’t manage to get very far. As he wasn’t very well liked in the community _(even before the whole princess rumor thing)_ Varian took precautions just in case someone… _unsavory_ wished to do things that they shouldn’t. 

He gripped the poker tightly. Somewhere down the line he bit his lip. Mentally he counted to three before charging down the stairs yelling. As he reached the bottom, he swung the poker around like a sword before realizing nothing was out of place. Sure, parts of his lab were trashed and collect dust in some areas, and quite obviously the rocks and his dad…but nothing was stolen or destroyed. Varian sighed in relief and laid against the wall, his heart racing.

Rudiger scrambled down the stairs after him making distressed calls. Varian watched as the poor raccoon tripped over the last of the stairs and take a tumble downwards. “Rudiger!” he cried out, crawling to the raccoon. “Oh god Ruddy, are you ok?” he gingerly picked up the raccoon and placed him on his desk. The raccoon purred but Varian wasn’t satisfied.

“Alright, I’m going to poke you in some spots… just… do the raccoon equivalent of a yell if it hurts.”

Varian checked Rudiger all over. Rudiger hissed at some spots but since he couldn’t feel any fractures or hear labored breathing, he suspected they were just bruised. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t keep a close eye on him though.

Varian glanced at the amber again. Just looking at him made him feel sick. He’s been in the house too long. “What do you think? Should we get some fresh air?” Rudiger climbed onto Varian’s shoulder and chirped.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He was being watched. He couldn’t see them, but he knew. Varian suspected it was the people trying to break down the door yesterday. Inside the pocket on his apron was a kitchen knife. It had nothing on a sword or dagger, but it could give him enough time to fend off attackers if needed.

He strained his ears to hear anything out of the ordinary. He could hear the gentle breeze blowing through the trees, the twittering of birds, Rudiger’s chitters as he searched for a snack, the faint clinking of glass vials in his satchel, the gentle lapping of the river ahead. He sighed, clenching his fists.

Varian breathed deeply. There was nothing he could do for now. He’s been the unofficial enemy number one since that day in the market and his growing paranoia wasn’t helping matters. He bit his lip. He came out here because the stress and paranoia were getting to him. He needed to relax and get a clear head, otherwise all his planning would be half baked and possibly injure his dad. _If he wasn’t already dead,_ his mind shot back. Varian hated that possibility but it was that, _a possibility._ Logic says that man cannot live with out the three threes. Three minutes without air, three days without water, and three weeks without food.

His dad had been in the amber _months now_ , the likelihood that he’s still alive is low, Varian understands and hates that. But Amber is known to preserve things, so there’s a chance he _is alive._ He just won’t know for sure until his dad is freed. _If ever._

Shaking away the depressing thoughts, he started to go back home when something caught his eye. There was something floating towards the riverbank. Normal people would just assume it is trash and forget about it, but Varian is curious by nature.

Carefully avoiding the rocks, he wandered down to the riverbank. “Wow, what do we have here?” It was a small bottle. It was clearly created with care; glassblowing hollow items was difficult, especially if it has a design. However, he was much more curious about the substance inside. The bottle barely had any of the rich purple substance left.

Curiosity piqued; Varian placed the bottle inside his satchel. Once he returned home, he could run an analysis on the bottle. He watched Rudiger play some more before deciding to head back home, constantly looking over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've made it to the end of "Not in the Mood". It's nice to get the story moving along. However no one is coming out unscathed...


	5. Stormy Seas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle has begun, but the war is just beginning to brew.

He didn’t get to the bottle immediately. It happened mere minutes after his return from his walk to the river. He had barely sat down for a moment when the powerful knocking returned, confirming his suspicions. Naturally, Varian had barricaded all entrances with his sticky bombs and empty buckets outside the windowsills. _If_ for some _suicidal_ reason they decided the climb up and break in through the window, they would assume the buckets were filled with liquid and vacate… or least buy him some time.

Varian stormed into his father’s room without a second thought. He opened the chest, grabbed the helmet, and placed it on his head. Varian could barely move without the helmet moving on his head like a basket, but it would provide adequate protection. He also found his father’s sword underneath the bed.

Now armed and protected by alchemy and weapons, Varian made his way into the lab, waiting by the entrance. He wasn’t going down without a fight. Inconsiderate pieces of—

The doors rattled with force, rhythmically pounding like a drum. The walls shook and dust fell from the ceiling. Varian could feel the vibrations underneath his feet. “A battle ram,” he whispered. His sword quivered in his shaking hands. He wanted to throw up. Was he _that_ wanted?! They were acting like he was some sort of criminal!

 _But you are,_ he thought traitorously. _To them you attacked the princess. To them you committed treason._

He wanted to cry.

So, this was it then? _This_ was his fate? He knew his dad…and by some extension the king thought that _“Children don’t belong in court.”_ What was he then? Would they declare him an adult and toss him into the deepest depths of the dungeon? Would they even give him a trial? _Did Rapunzel ever care at all?_

 _“Children don’t belong in court.”_ Did that mean he couldn’t defend himself? Was he just a piece of property until he came of age? Easy to dispose of?

**_NO._ **

He refused! Varian grit his teeth. He was no swordsman, but he could fight if needed. And he would fight nail, tooth, and claw until either he was cleared or his father set free. **_He wasn’t going to jail today or ever!_**

Varian braced himself for when the doors would undoubtedly fall. He wouldn’t stand a chance against ten fully train guards but he could try, even if it meant he went down doing it. He remembered that small old woman that lived near the center of the village that talked about Valhalla. She died when he was eight but he never forgot. Varian wasn’t quite sure if he believed in Valhalla, but if he died today it was with a sword in hand. If such a place existed, then Varian knew where he would end up.

He stood there for hours waiting, he hoped to all that could hear him that the doors wouldn’t fall but he was more than prepared to shish kabab the morons if they kept him from freeing his dad. The attacks continued for an hour more before everything fell silent.

Varian didn’t dare move. _He didn’t dare breathe._ For them to attack his doors with no mercy _for hours_ only to give up? That was it? _Was it their bedtime?_ He continued to wait. Five minutes turned to ten, and ten minutes turned to thirty, _and thirty turned to yet another hour and!_

Nothing! Nothing but him and Rudiger and Dad and the stupid _stupid rocks!_ Varian dropped the sword and fell to his knees. He couldn’t believe it. _He couldn’t believe it!_ Varian snorted into his hands. They had wasted an entire half-day… and then they leave when the sun sets.

…

Loud, unrestrained howling echoed through the lab. He toppled over and clutched his side, but couldn’t make it stop. _It was just so funny!_ Tears ran down his face as he hit the floor with his hands. What was their plan? Run him out of his _own house?_ Rudiger came racing to him concerned but Varian paid him no heed. His laughter was a touch hysterical to his ears and his body shook with adrenaline.

After a few minutes Varian calmed down. He picked himself up from the floor and stroked the raccoon. “Sorry I scared you there, pal,” he murmured, his energy from before drained away. All he wanted was to fall asleep _right there. On the floor._

Rudiger stroked Varian’s cheek softly. Varian in return gave him a soft pat to the head. He looked up at the amber and flinched. “This isn’t healthy, seeing him like that every day,” he confided to the raccoon. Rudiger nodded and bounded up the stairs as Varian watched him in confusion.

Unable to find the strength to follow, Varian pulled himself to his desk and propped up against the wall next to it. He could feel his eyes drooping, but he couldn’t bring himself to fight it. Before he could slip away, he heard the clicking of Rudiger’s claws and the sound of something heavy being dragged.

Varian turned towards the noise to see the raccoon trying to pull a massive blanket with him. Varian groggily stood up and shuffled to Rudiger and the blanket. “Thanks, buddy.” He grabbed the blanket and hoisted it over the amber, only the scroll could be seen through a hole in the blanket.

He loved and missed his father, but seeing him trapped in the amber was maddening. Perhaps this way he could focus more on how to free him. But now, he needed rest. He turned to the amber and mentally created a list of priorities.

  1. Finish deciphering scroll piece.



He mostly had it by now. There were a few things missing so he couldn’t get a clear picture. If he had the rest of the pieces it might be different but for now it would have to do.

  1. Use scroll knowledge to find a way to free his dad.



Everything he’s come up with so far has been a bust, meaning now he only had two options; the scroll or Rapunzel. He would prefer the former. Rapunzel… she had… she had abandoned him. He could forgive her during the storm, but what about after? What about Cassie? Or Fl— Eugene? It’s not like he _hadn’t_ tried, because he has and they still—

Varian shook his head. He had more important things to worry about.

  1. Look at that weird bottle.



If Varian wasn’t so tired right now, he probably would have looked at it. In the morning maybe, if he was feeling up to it.

Unable to think of anything else, he stumbled to the stairs, stabling himself of the wall. Varian knew it was unlikely that he could make it up another flight upstairs, so he would sleep on the couch instead. He shuffled his way through the hallway, Rudiger following dutifully behind him. Varian was pretty sure he stumbled a few times, but his brain was to foggy to register. Instead of walking some more, he found himself on the couch. _Oh well. This is where I wanted to be anyways._


	6. Typhoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian tries to get to that vial, but frustration leads to something he didn't really think about before. Featuring Panicking Varian! Be aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do encourage feedback. I've never posted any of my work and I'm really paranoid so please help Ginger out please. The rating change might not be necessary but my paranoid brain says do it so better safe then sorry

The liquid swirled in the bottle and Varian had been staring at it for thirty minutes now. Rudiger laid beside him, playing with one of his _(thankfully)_ empty vials. Varian couldn’t sleep the night before. Dreams of people invading his lab, destroying the amber along with his father inside, lighting the scroll on fire, and burning his lab with him still inside plagued him throughout the night.

He awoke akin to someone waking up to find themselves on fire and promptly lost last night’s dinner. After cleaning himself and the mess, he ran into his father’s room and opened the chest again, hoping to find something to protect the scroll piece. To his luck, he found a bronze graphtyc and key. The key had turn while inside the chest allowing the graphtyc to open, leading Varian to believe that it was the scroll’s original container.

He grabbed the graphtyc and stole it away in his pocket until he returned to the lab. Varian had practically memorized the contents of the scroll by now and was so close to completing the translation. He would not let his work be in vain because someone decided to take it away.

He secured the scroll in the graphtyc and locked it with the key, so if someone were to try and take the scroll, they wouldn’t be able to retrieve it as they didn’t have the means to open it. _Now, where to put the key,_ he pondered. If he hid it somewhere it could easily become discovered. His mind went back to when his father was first encased and the discovery of the money sack.

No. He definitely couldn’t hide it.

Seeing no better alternative, he found a piece of string, slid the key onto it, and tied the string around his neck, tucking the key under his shirt. Varian allowed himself to relax a little before turning to the bottle sitting innocently on his desk. He watched it apprehensively, as if it would explode the moment he touched it _(to be honest, he wouldn’t be surprised considering his track record)._

Varian wasn’t stupid. It could be poison that someone tried to discard _(and failed obviously. It would have been better if they had just poured the substance into the ground)._ It could just be juice of a foreign fruit _(not that Varian could name any fruits with purple—no MAGENTA JUICE. Blueberries and beetroot had purple juice but not MAgEntA)._ Heck, it could be contaminated water, no reason for him to be nosy…

But alas, he was a nosy prick, so investigation it was.

Varian sighed and rubbed his temples. Obviously, the lack of sleep was getting to him. His eyes drifted to the covered amber. Guilt bloomed in his stomach. Was he not doing enough? What if he was too late because he kept thinking _safety first?_ Not that he actively set out to do his work without safety protocols, but here he was thinking about getting sleep when his father was still stuck in the amber. _Or maybe its just his corpse,_ his brain decided to share.

Varian hated anxiety, his brain, and himself. If he had just _listened,_ he wouldn’t be in this situation!

_Would it have changed anything? Who says that the others wouldn’t have left him for dead the moment dad looked away?_

_He was a liability… even with his father._

Varian pounded the desk, empty vials rattled and balled up papers rolled off. Rudiger shot up, staring at Varian intensely, before going back to…whatever he was doing. Varian grunted in frustration.

He hated this! He hated hiding because Corona was full of sheep that believed rumors at the drop of a hat! He hated his village for abandoning him! He _hated his friends abandoning him!_

He pounded at the desk again before sliding down and hugging his knees. He bit his lip trying to hold back a muffled cry. Who… who was he _fooling?_ He wasn’t a friend to them at all… was he? He was just an asset. A key to unlocking the mystery of Rapunzel’s impossible hair.

An iron taste filled his mouth but he ignored it. They didn’t care about him, _did they?_ Not unless it involved him finding something about Rapunzel’s hair or the rocks.

_“We collectively are going to figure it out,”_

Varian laughed bitterly.

_“but I need to know that I can trust you.”_

“Trust is a two-way street, _Your Highness_.” He spat, clenching his fists. He licked his lips, stomach flipping as he registered the taste of blood. Did it occur to them that he was a person too?

_“I haven’t seen you since—”_

_“Since your last invention almost killed us. So glad you’re here, with what looks like another invention.”_

He had feelings! He wasn’t constantly doing alchemy or spouting off science facts! Not to mention he could understand sarcasm when he heard it, _Eugene._

Granted, the man had a fair point but it wasn’t always like that! Not _all_ of his inventions were failures! The water heaters were a mistake, an _accident._ In his eagerness, he forgot to double-triple check his blueprints, which of course _is_ dangerous but he could count on one hand the times his inventions got out of control.

The expo did _not_ count as Varian had tried to warn Prof. St Croix, but the idiot _(Honestly, that man is a scientist?)_ ignored his warnings _(as the inventor)_ because he thought he knew everything! He wouldn’t be surprised if St. Croix was a fraud!

He sighed, loosening his posture. Varian leaned his head back against his desk and closed his eyes.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

Breathe in.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

Breathe out.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

Breathe in.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

Breathe out.

When he opened his eyes, Varian wasn’t surprised to see Rudiger sitting on his lap. Good old dependable Rudiger. “You wouldn’t abandon me, right buddy?” his voice cracked at the end. “You wouldn’t throw me away or forget I was there.” He relaxed as Rudiger stroked his cheek.

Time and time again, the raccoon proved to be faithful. Rudiger could have left a long time ago. Somewhere with better food and better places to roam. Varian spared what little food he did have _(Moon bless those hanging gardens)_ but he only had so much.

Rudiger cooed softly before curling on Varian’s lap. Removing his gloves, Varian stroked the raccoon. “Why did you stay? Not that I’m complaining or anything… it’s just… you could have taken your food and left. Why stay here?”

Rudiger watched him, his head tilted. Varian expected him to go back to sleep, go exploring again, or do raccoon things… but he didn’t expect Rudiger to _**boop** him on the nose._ “W-What? Hey!” He started laughing. “What was that for?”

Rudiger chattered before booping him in the face again. Varian could only stare, dumbfounded. “I’m sorry, I don’t underst—”

Varian trailed off, realization creeping into his stare. “Oh, **_OH!”_** Varian grabbed Rudiger and started cuddling him. He was _so_ not crying thank you, the lab was just dusty. _(It really was, he needed to fix that.)_

Varian might not have much, but at least he had someone in his corner. _(Even if that someone was a raccoon)._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the chapter was supposed to go one way but Varian got distracted... then I got distracted. I don't know guys this is my first fanfic and I'm drowning a bit, feedback is nice because I'm worried I'm doing something wrong. Hope you enjoyed Ginger's Rant! Tune in Next Week for more Insecure Worries of the Author. 
> 
> I'm not funny. Not one bit.


	7. Forgotten Dreams (A Starry Interlude)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream is a wish your heart makes right? But dreams are strange and have no order. He doesn't remember what it was, but why does he feel like he forgot something important?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you for the constructive criticism. I already notice a difference in my writing. I will go back and edit previous chapters this week, either tomorrow or the day after. Next chapter will be on Saturday as usual. Second, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOUR EXCITED FOR SEASON 3! Also there are references in this chapter, see if you can spot them.

_Water rushed over a stony path, slightly clouded from the shifting of gravel and dirt. The spring breeze swayed the leaves of the great willow tree close to the riverbank. The scent of the jasmine tangled with grass damp with morning dew._

_The sunlight gently caressed his skin, not burning like it did on hot summer days. He could feel the moist earth underneath his feet. Buzzing dragonflies and chirping birds came together in one harmonious symphony. He softly walked to the shore line and dipped his toe in._

_He flinched for a moment, taking his toe out, before dipping it back in. The water was pleasantly cool, but not freezing. The boy giggled as he jumped into the riverbank. He dug his toes into the bottom, watching the dirt bloom away from him._

_He rolled up his pant legs before wading deeper into the water. He knew that he should probably go back home; it was almost lunchtime and Mama would be looking for him soon…_

_But this was too much fun!_

_He laughed as he splashed in the water, soaking his clothes. Daddy wouldn’t be happy about that, but he wasn’t here right now. The boy bent over and stood very still, waiting for the mud to silt to settle. It felt like HOURS. He waited and waited and waited, but he didn’t see anything!_

_Until he did._

_A flash of silver shot past his little legs, gone in an instant. The boy let out a shriek before continuing to watch the water, ignoring the fact that he was shivering. He could stand a little cold. His labor didn’t go unrewarded._

_Silver minnows swam at a leisurely pace towards his feet. He struggled not to move when they nibbled his toes. The boy snorted, trying not to laugh as they investigated the presence in the river._

_“VARIAN!”_

_The boy gasped as he turned around to see his mother at the shoreline, hiking up her dress and following him into the water. Varian turned back to the minnows but they were gone. “Mama!” he cried, pointing to the river. “They’re gone!”_

_Evelyn sighed in relief and hugged him fiercely, the edge of her dress was already soaked, why did it matter if she got even more wet? “Oh baby, we were so worried!” she knelt down and cupped his face, a small bit of snot dripped from his nose and his eyes were teary—not to mention he was soaked! —but he was otherwise alright. “Come, my little scientist. Let’s go dry in the sun and you can tell me who ‘they’ are, ok?”_

_Varian sniffed and nodded, wiping his nose on his sleeve. Evelyn grabbed his hand and they waded to shore. She dearly regretted not bringing a towel with her; she should have known her boy would have gone exploring by the riverbank!_

_She led them to a sunny patch, right by the willow, and sat down. Varian sat in her lap, cuddling against her torso despite still being wet. She could only shake her head, resigned to her fate. A soft smile curled on her lip. “So,” she began. “What were you doing **in** the river, Varian?” Evelyn tried to keep her tone light and happy, but she could hear the worry cracked throughout._

_He buried his face in her chest, she could feel the heat from his small cheeks. He mumbled something, but didn’t bother to look up. She frowned, the poor boy thought he did something wrong._ No, _she corrected herself._ He wandered off without telling me or Quirin where he was going _._ That was wrong.

_Regardless, she ran her fingers through his hair. “While I am disappointed you ran off without telling anyone where you were going, you aren’t going to get in trouble for playing in the river.” Evelyn felt the tension easing out of her boy’s shoulders, finally relaxing to his mother’s touch and the warm sun._

_Varian looked up to her, his eyes—oh those wonderfully blue eyes just like her own— filled with tears. “I wanted to surprise you.” He hiccupped. “You were so sad when Andro got hurt. I wanted you to have more friends to love you while Andro’s getting better. Or they could be speci… speca… spici—”_

_“Specimens?” She asked._

_“Yeah, those.” He sniffed again, no doubt thinking of Andro before wiping his eyes. “But I forgot the jar.” Evelyn almost laughed at the remorse of the forgotten jar. He son was so sweet and in tune with nature. Her dog… no…_ Their _dog Andro had been runover, pushing Varian out of the way of a runaway cart. After making sure Varian was alright, she checked over her old friend. She could feel him slipping, but Evelyn did everything in her power to make sure he would live to see another day._

_Now, Andro was recovering and was being showered with treats. Varian practically stuck to his side until today. He had wanted to come with her to find Varian like the good boy he was, but Evelyn firmly told him to stay and get better before running out the door._

_She sighed, moving her hand from Varian’s head to his back. She had hoped Varian wouldn’t notice her dour mood, but children were keen on those sorts of things. “That’s very kind of you, Varian.”_

_Evelyn stretched her arms above her head before leaning back, taking her son with her. He yelped in surprise before dissolving into a fit of giggles. Evelyn let out a few herself before brushing his dark hair out of his face. “Varian, sweetheart, could you do Mama a favor?” She laughed as Varian nodded eagerly, sneezing when a bit of grass went up his nose._

_“Varian, you have a spark.” She pointed to his heart. “That sets a flame with everyone you meet, be it animal or man. You are kind and compassionate… and curious.” She tickled his neck before running her fingers through his hair again. “You are so very clever, especially for someone your age, and full of the most vivid imagination. Please baby, promise me you’ll never lose that spark.”_

_Varian watched her, eyes eager and full of that spark she had just mentioned. “I promise!” he gave her nice big smile—oh god!_

_“Varian your tooth!”_

_Varian raised his brows and ran his tongue over the new gap in his teeth. One of his front teeth had been loose for a while now. He had gotten bored with waiting and yanked it out his morning, he couldn’t believe he forgot! Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his tooth and handed it to his Mama. “I was gonna show you when I got home, but here it his!”_

_She grinned. Evelyn had been waiting for him to lose his first tooth. She handed it back to him with care. “Well, now the tooth fairy is going to find it and give you a coin for it.”_

_Varian and Evelyn sat up. Her son cocked his head, not unlike Andro. “Why? It’s just a tooth.” Evelyn shook her head playfully_

_“No, my son. It is much more. Your teeth are special, they’re connected to your head, meaning they hold your memories. The tooth fairy loves to watch memories, so in return for them, she’ll give you a coin.”_

_“How?”_

_Evelyn giggled as she wiggled her fingers. “Magic,” she whispered._

_Varian’s jaw dropped in awe. “Magic?”_

_“Yep! But you have to be very careful when dealing with the fae. Varian.”_

_“Why?”_

_Evelyn bit her lip, trying to think of a good way to explain. “Think of it like… an exchange.” Seeing Varian was still confused, she elaborated. “With the tooth fairy, you leave her a tooth and in return she gives you a coin. However, most of the fae aren’t so straight forward. You know how much promises mean for us right? The fae are very strict when it comes to promises. If you don’t follow through on your word, you could severely pay the price.”_

_Evelyn cupped Varian’s face with her hands. “Be very careful with what you promise, son. Not only because it would hurt someone’ feelings if you don’t follow through, but because people will begin to doubt your integrity. They will doubt your word.”_

_“Like the boy who cried wolf?”_

_“Yes, just like the boy who cried wolf.”_

_The two sat in the sunny patch in silence for a couple minutes, taking in the sounds and smells around them. Sighing contently, Evelyn stood up, brushing off pieces of grass and dirt. “Now that we’re all dry, we should go find your daddy. Otherwise he might just eat all the sandwiches without us!”_

_“Nooooooo!”_

_\---------_

Varian jolted awake, breathing heavily. His covers clung to him, sticky with sweat. Rudiger sat in his lap, trying to comfort him. His furry paw rested on Varian’s chest. “What—” Varian coughed into the crook of his arm. “—What _was_ that?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Rudiger offered no answers, deciding to curl up in Varian’s lap. Sighing, Varian ran his hand over the raccoon’s head before gently sliding him off his lap. Rudiger looked up questionably, but jumped off the bed and scurried out the room.

Varian pulled off his covers and walked to the window. He flinched at the destroyed houses, turning his attention instead to the night sky. There wasn’t a cloud that he could see. Taking a deep breath, he opened the window.

A soft breeze caressed his face, his hair dancing in the wind. Not thinking much of it, he started to climb. Carefully, he hoisted himself up onto the roof of the house, the sky in full display.

And what a display it was.

To an untrained eye, it was as if the sky was a dark tablecloth and someone and spilled sugar all over it. To Varian, it was a masterpiece. He spotted Hercules and Bootes first, Draco and Scorpius not long after. One by one he counted out each constellation, reminding himself of the names of constellations, stars, and the lore behind them.

He focused solely on the stars and their story. For just one moment, Varian allowed himself to forget the rocks. He forgot the amber, the princess, Cassie and Eugene, his father. For a moment, he allowed himself to just be him, no expectations, no one’s life on the line. Just him and the stars.

He knew it was wrong—selfish even, but was it really, after everything he’s done so far? _Just one night,_ he pleaded. _Just one night._ Was it too much to ask? Varian was thankful Rudiger stayed in the house, giving him his privacy. He didn’t want Rudiger to see the tears that held no meaning. No meaning at all.

Varian turned to the sky again, silent tears cascading down his face. “Where is the justice?” he whispered, his eyes leading toward Libra. “Tell me where is the justice.” Another breeze blew by, warm instead of cool like before, but he shivered. Waves of melancholy and regret that wasn’t his washed over him, mingling with his own. He looked over his shoulder, but there was no one.

Varian didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

Unseen to him, a specter wept, a forgotten promise echoing in the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing accurate children is hard. :/


	8. Looking Through Amber Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian uncovers something chilling and a conspiracy that could change his view of the royal family forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said I would edit the previous chapters? Life got in the way, as it most likely will next week as well. It was a miracle I managed to get this done today. Thank you for your support!

The black rocks grew in number and proportion until they didn’t look like a cluster of rocks anymore. Instead, they grew into a dark forest, only with the rocks as trees. Besides Rudiger, all wild life vacated Old Corona. Varian coughed into his hands again.

Any hope of receiving help died not too long ago. Varian felt physically sick seeing every house the rocks destroyed. The only thing he was sure to receive now was a death sentence.

He stopped going outside.

 _This isn’t healthy,_ he told himself. _You’ll drive yourself insane._

More time to work on a solution.

_You’ll start slipping up._

There’s no one here to get hurt.

_Except yourself._

Maybe he deserved it. 

Varian yelped in pain and brought his hand to his chest. Small beads of blood dripped of his fingers and dropped onto the ground. Varian stared at Rudiger in bewilderment. “Did… did you just _bite_ me?”

Rudiger rubbed his head on Varian’s cheek and cooed in apology. Varian huffed, taking a piece of cloth from his pocket and wrapping it around his fingers. “At least you don’t have rabies,” he muttered after coughing into his arm. Rudiger playfully swatted at his head, gripping Varian’s shoulders tightly as to not lose balance.

Varian knew why Rudiger bit him—lightly mind you. Rudiger had been doing everything a raccoon could do to distract Varian from sinking into a pit of despair. He couldn’t save his dad or repair the village if he was wallowing in self-pity. That didn’t mean he didn’t have his moments… or have nightmares. Varian was pretty sure he hadn’t properly slept since his father was encased.

Then there was that bottle.

Finally, he’d recreated his analyzer, and now he could see what this thing was! Something about it rubbed him the wrong way. It felt _off._ To be perfectly honest, Varian was sorely tempted to just pour it out and be done with it, but he couldn’t bring himself to. What if it could help? He’s probably reaching, but if magic is real, then maybe miracles can too? His stomach flipped at the thought, but he couldn’t understand _why—?_

He rubbed his temples for what felt like the tenth time that day. He’s been getting headaches off and on all week. At first, he thought it was just dehydration; nothing a little boiled water from the river can’t fix. He was proven wrong after the third day. For now, he dealt with the migraine, it wasn’t as if he hasn’t suffered from them before.

A whirring noise caught his attention. He couldn’t help but let out a small cheer. Now he could properly focus instead of wondering what the bottle was. Grinning to himself, he made his way to the machine, **_but he tripped._**

The world around him slowed down, his mind racing with all the possible things that could go wrong. He couldn’t control his body, his arms flailed trying to keep himself upright without any repercussions. The ground approached quickly yet at the same time it took forever—

Varian’s arm hit the machine and the bottle went flying. Unthinkingly, he used his other arm to catch it before it could shatter, taking a dive to the floor. He winced at his scraped arm. Yeah, he probably needed to disinfect that. Rudiger chittered in worry before disappearing from Varian’s side. Moments later, he returned with a roll of bandages.

Varian smiled and pet the raccoon’s head. “Thanks, buddy. You’re a life saver.” He took the bandages and wrapped them gingerly around his arm. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Rudiger purred and rubbed his cheek on Varian’s side. Varian snorted. “Are you sure you’re not a cat in disguise?” Rudiger ignored him and instead nosed the bottle in Varian’s hand.

Varian smacked himself on the head. “Right, the bottle.” Standing up and dusting himself off, he found the paper with the results. It had fallen on the floor after he nearly knocked the machine over. Thank god he didn’t, he would’ve been heartbroken.

“Alright, let’s see,” he mumbled, looking over the results. If Varian had been drinking anything, he would’ve done a spit take. As he didn’t have anything to drink, he choked on air instead. Rudiger watched him in alarm; he’s such a mother hen sometimes. Not that Varian blamed of course because of all the things he expected it wasn’t _“A MOOD MODIFYER!?”_ He screeched. _“What the hell?!”_

Varian practically threw the bottle away from him. Shaking, he reread the results again. His stomach did flips with every ingredient, until he stopped. “Unidentified?” He froze. One of ingredients on the list was the word “Unidentified”. The ingredients he did recognize were major no-no’s separately, together the results could be horrible. That alone was a recipe for disaster—not to mention one of the ingredients was _unidentified_ which was all kinds of sketchy _—_ but the way people could use this if they had the full recipe. Oh god he was going to be sick.

“What kind of sicko would create an attitude-reversing mixture?”

He did _not_ want to think about that. No sir.

“Come on, Rudiger.” He bit his lip, trying to calm himself down. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”

He wouldn’t risk going outside without some form of disguise and defense. A deep navy cloak, his welder’s mask, and his satchel hanging by his side left him reassured that he wouldn’t be bothered.

At least where he’s going.

He was kind of playing with fire here. If he walked down the street of the capital wearing his attire he most certainly would end up behind bars. However, a shady bar? Yeah, he was nothing new.

It wasn’t the Snuggly Duckling—too many Royal sympathizers there—but the Amber Glass Tavern? It was a catch-all for travelers, merchants, con-artists, and outlaws away from the known paths and out of sights, except for those in the know. The best part? No one asked questions.

He had found it by accident. He had been chased off the roads by guards around sunset. Trying to shake them off his tail, he leapt into some bushes, hoping to hide there. The problem was, the bushes weren’t really bushes.

_He screamed as he tumbled down the hidden tunnel, his glowing vials his only source of light. Rudiger screeched in distress behind him, trying desperately to stop their descent. The two shot out of the end, landing in a grassy plain._

_Varian moaned in pain, checking himself for injuries. Other than scraped knees and elbows with some scratches on his arms and legs he was fine. Covered in dirt and his clothing torn but otherwise fine._

_Rudiger shook off the dirt in his fur, sneezing in the process. “Bless you,” Varian said absently. Varian blinked a couple times. They were in a hidden alcove surrounded by tall cliffs covered in ivy. There was no way Varian could have gotten here without killing himself if he hadn’t gone down that tunnel._

_Booming laughter shook Varian from his observations, his attention drawn to a small cave he didn’t notice before. Outside the opening of the cave hung three lanterns. Golden light glowed from inside, shadows of people causing it to flicker. Above the lanterns was a sign._

_“The Amber Glass Tavern?” he asked himself. “Odd name.” but more normal than the Snuggly Duckling. Wishing to investigate further, he opened his satchel and pulled out a piece of cloth. He wrapped it around the lower half of his face and slid his goggles over his eyes. It would preserve his identity… hopefully._

Luckily for him, they didn’t notice; or if they did, they didn’t care. Which was good for him either way. Varian made sure to stop by at least once a month; a week if he was able, for some human interaction… mostly for the information though.

When he first started coming—in disguise of course—he was appalled to learn that not only were the rocks growing in Corona, but outside it as well! If they didn’t take care of it soon, it could be an international problem. 

Since then, he keeps mostly to himself, listening in on other conversations. Sometimes he’ll ask a question or join a conversation. As he was a well-read individual—rare for his station— most assumed he was a short adult, given his manner of speaking. One of the first things Varian learned since his father was encased, was perfecting his acting skills, and how to bluff. As long as your confident, most people don’t look too closely.

He entered the bar with Rudiger trailing behind him. Golden lanterns hung from stalactites from the top of the cave. Stalagmites had been chiseled out to form chairs. The bar had a dark oak base with stone counter top, the tables were created similarly. Several men and women chatted up friends and neighbors over a drink and a hardy meal.

He chose a booth that was carved into the wall in the corner, asking for watered down wine when the barmaid came around. After she left, he made himself comfortable. He brought out his pencil and notebook, absentmindedly rewriting the ingredient list that had been plaguing him since he read it.

“That’s quite a list there.”

Varian flinched but said nothing. Mentally he cursed himself, so much for inconspicuous. The owner of the voice sat down across from Varian, folding his arms. Like Varian, he was in disguise, wearing a balaclava and a heavy cloak with the hood up. “Why would someone like you create a list with those ingredients?” Dark eyes flashing curiosity and… was that a hint of fear?

“I didn’t create it,” Varian replied, his voice distorted through the mask. He couldn’t help but be mildly offended. “Nor do I need what it creates. I found a bottle of unknown substance, so I ran tests and these were the results.” Perfect, not giving much, but enough.

“You are a man of science then?”

“That remains to be seen.”

This is why Varian tended to be a wallflower in these types of situations. He was no good at confrontations. It was a delicate balance. One wrong word and they could have leverage against you.

Who ever said “Sticks and stone can break my bones but words can never hurt me” was a big fat LIAR.

The man hummed in response, his dark locks falling slightly out of the hood. “That is alarming.” Varian couldn’t help but snort.

“Understatement of the century.”

The man frowned; Varian was sure he would’ve cocked a brow if the hood was down. “You are aware of what that list creates?”

“Painfully.”

The two came to an uneasy silence as the barmaid came back around with Varian’s drink. He gave her the right amount of gold coins—he didn’t like thinking about how he got the extra money— and took a sip. It was sour compared to what he had the first time he came. He looked up but before he could ask, she shrugged. “Those rocks a wreaking havoc on the vineyard. Believe it or not this is the best of the bunch.” Varian sighed and thanked her for her information before taking another sip.

The man cleared his throat has the barmaid bustled away. “Listen, I think we can come to an agreement.” Varian paused, placing his drink back on the table. Besides him, Rudiger snarled quietly. He ran his hand over his furry friend to show everything was alright.

He didn’t think that someone would come to him for help, especially in a place like this. People may act “buddy-buddy” inside the tavern, but outside it was a free for all. You had to be careful what you say inside, because outside it you’re on your own. Varian had to play his cards just right, otherwise this may bite him in the rear. “What are you offering in return?”

Yeah, that was a safe question. Good job, Varian.

“I don’t have money, but I have information.”

Varian nodded along; information was always good. The man leaned in closely to Varian before whispering, “There are rumors flying around that the king isn’t exactly following his own laws.”

Varian couldn’t help but be suspicious and wary. “And? They’re rumors.”

“Ah, that what I said, but I had a friend that recently got… uh… _released_ from the dungeons, and it wasn’t pretty.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, really? What about all the men that… ahem… perished under mysterious circumstances, apparent suicides, and prison riots before their trial? And what about all the men unjustly imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit?”

That had Varian interested. “You believe they’re all connected.”

The man smirked, leaning back against the booth. “It only shows how corrupt the monarchy is. Tell me, what do you think all those men and women have in common?”

Varian’s eyes widened as he realized what the man before him was implying. Varian was suddenly very grateful this man didn’t know his true age. He probably wouldn’t have spilled this to a _kid._ “They were all lower class.” He answered once he found his voice.

The man clapped his pale hands together. “Exactly! And that’s not all.”

Varian was enraptured. Rudiger peaked curiously from under the table, but the man paid no mind. This time, the man leaned forward again to make sure he was unheard by other listeners. “They are rumors that good ol’ king freddy over there is hiding a special flower up in his ivory tower, all to himself.”

Varian’s stomach dropped. The scroll piece came vividly to his mind. _An ancient evil_ is how the scroll described the rocks. And its vice was… “The Sundrop,” he breathed, barely a whisper.

If this man was true, if the _rumors_ were true. Then the king was keeping the cure to Corona’s plight all too himself. “What do you need?” Varian asked gruffly, his voice lowered to a growl through the mask. All the people that have been hurt through his majesty’s actions increased ten-fold.

The man grinned. “My mates and I aren’t exactly in cahoots his _great_ and _mightiness._ We have a route, but lanterns would give us away. I couldn’t help but notice your glowsticks tied to your staff…”

Varian shoved the vials towards the man as fast as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I forget, I have an Insta account now! Because I'm intimidated by Tumblr. @gingerpopshield for previews of writing, terrible art, and random rambles about aus or theories.


	9. Barrel, Lock, and Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian breaks into the castle in the most ridiculous way possible and finds the forbidden lawbook. Some interesting revelations come to light, and Rudiger is a good smug boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found it funny that the chapter name is three characters from my favorite Halloween/Christmas movie. OF course, I changed the order but I didn't realize until AFTER I named the chapter. Funny coincidence.

It was common knowledge that a record book held the transcripts of trials and the accused fates was under lock and key in the royal library. Those training to be lawyers—and of course, actual lawyers— needed explicit permission from the king himself to look inside. Should the permission be granted, the lawyer would be escorted by two guards to the book and under observation as he searched for the case he was looking for, and only that. The lawyers and law students are then sworn to secrecy, never to speak of the transcripts inside.

The most accepted reason was privacy. You wouldn’t want _your_ dirty laundry aired for all to see if you had been reformed, would you? Because of this reasoning, the general public refrained from investigating further, because why would there be anything wrong? The king is _so_ kind, thinking of his subjects that are trying to better themselves!

Please read sarcasm.

Varian used to be one of those people. He knows how embarrassing it is for people to bring up past mistakes, because he’s been in that position. Constantly. Every time he achieved something _good_ with his accomplishments, his failures were thrown back in his face, as if it invalidated all the good he’s done for them, for his village.

It hurt. It wounded the heart and ripped apart his self-esteem. His confidence was left shaking and his feelings stamped on.

He knows they don’t mean it—at least, that’s how he sees it—they were just afraid of the potential his projects could take. Old Corona was deeply rooted in tradition. Varian repeatedly broke tradition. A common lecture he was given by his neighbors was “Are forefathers didn’t do this and yet, here we are. Why should we change what we do now when it works just fine?”

While he can’t deny the statement, change was important. Why do the same old same old when there was a better, faster, and _more efficient_ way? Why go through the troubles with animal traps that could harm the animal—or person that accidently stumbled on it— when you could use a goo that not only stopped the animal, but left them—and the potential human—unharmed? Why go through the pain of undoing the trap when you could just dissolve the goo with the neutralizer? That way, everybody wins and nobody’s harmed.

That doesn’t mean he’s perfect, far from it. But what is it about him that made his feelings invalid? What was he doing wrong? How could he improve, both him and hid inventions? Was he trying too hard? Should he focus more on the village as a whole or should he try branching out?

He yearned for his father’s approval and tried to live up to his expectations, but how can you do that when you don’t know how high the bar is?

Every time he tries something new, he hopes that maybe _this_ time, dad would be proud of him. ~~Someone was proud of him once~~ Only for him to fail, whether the invention was successful or not. There was an emptiness inside him, but no matter how hard he tried; it was like he was missing a piece to his puzzle.

Varian hated incomplete puzzles.

Which brought him here now. In the library. At midnight. The forbidden book at his fingertips. _Holy carp this was terrifying…and actually committing treason._

He almost chickened. In theory, this was so temptingly easy. Sneak in, take a peek, and sneak out. Easy.

He was... right surprisingly, at least about the sneak-in part.

Sneaking into the castle wasn’t going to work. The guards would be on high alert at night, so Varian needed to be there _before_ nighttime. It was dumb, it was stupid, and just a hint idiotic. Just because it worked in a fiction book didn’t mean it would work in _real life._

But it worked. Beyond all odds it worked. Corona’s guards were even stupider than Varian. Or maybe saner. Either way, he out smarted them, or he _out stupid_ them. Varian hoped it was the first.

The plan was simple. He’d find a barrel, cut out the bottom so Varian could walk around, and install a false top with apricots. That way, if anyone were to open the barrel, all they would see were the apricots. Rudiger was a raccoon, so the palace goers wouldn’t pay him any mind. After all, _he_ wasn’t wanted.

So, he did it. He got the barrel and did all the steps above and _by golly it worked._

There were a few close calls, some kitchen maids, a guard, and this one guy with an earring who was buff enough that Varian was sure that this guy could break him in half. Varian nearly had a heart attack when the guy—apparently named Lance—reached in to grab a couple of apricots before being called away.

Varian did not want to explain why he was hiding in a barrel.

So, he waited about two…maybe three hours before he escaped, quietly tiptoeing into the library. Rudiger sat at the entrance—he didn’t know it was possible for a raccoon to be _smug—_ and sauntered up to Varian before climbing onto his shoulders. Varian could only shake his head.

He wrapped the cloak he’d worn close to his body, slightly shivering from the cold. Or was it nerves? It wasn’t like this was a day for picking apples. Varian missed the crisp autumn air. That was comforting and not at all dangerous like breaking into the royal library. Rudiger lightly swatted at him, trying to get him to focus on his task. Varian glared at the raccoon briefly before moving on.

The room never seemed to end. Endless shelves overflowed with books of different subjects, age, and languages. Varian was fairly sure that he saw a copy of the _Iliad_ somewhere. He was also sure that the royals forgot just how _many_ books there were in here.

Varian took extra care in making his footsteps as light as possible. Light from candles all over the library cast odd shadows that had nearly him jumping. He always caught himself at the last second, but so many close calls weren’t good for his health.

The world froze for a moment once he spotted the door, the _iron_ door. There wasn’t any doubt that the lawbook was in the next room, he could see it through the bars. Varian had brought a lockpick just in case, but he hadn’t expected the door to be an iron cell door.

“Not to worry,” he said to himself. “You have gloves on and rolled up sleeves. You’ll be fine. You haven’t had a reaction in years.” Rudiger jumped of Varian before squeezing through the metal bars. Varian huffed. “Show off.”

Rudiger chittered quietly before stepping back. Varian sighed, pulling out the lockpick. He fumbled with the lock for a few moments, praying that the hinges were well oiled. He breathed in relief when the lock opened with only a soft _pop._

The door swung open, barely making a sound, yet Varian didn’t move. Did he really want to go through with this? There was no coming back from it. If what that man said was true, then there was a lot more than his dad on the line. His father was a _vassal_ to the king, but no matter how much Varian pleaded, no one would help. _The king_ wouldn’t help. If they wouldn’t help him, then what of the other commoners?

Varian steeled himself. He… he _chose_ this. To save his father and make amends for all the hurt he’s caused. He had no idea how the village was fairing, but he hoped they were at least healthy. He wasn’t going to forgive them for abandoning him, but he wouldn’t wish death on anybody.

He stepped into the room.

It wasn’t large. Varian could probably reach the end of the room in ten steps. There were cracks in the brick walls and cobwebs in the corners. The book sat innocently on a stone pillar, a fine layer of dust on its cover.

That made him suspicious. There was no way the book could’ve been left untouched long enough for a layer of dust to settle. There would always be someone who committed a crime. Corona, while better than some other kingdoms, wasn’t the utopia that others described it as. Corona was a tad isolated compared to others such as Arendelle and Casthesea, so of course, less people came through. Also, the death sentence for breaking laws—no matter how minor—would be a turn off for travelers. It’s not like killing criminals stealing to feed their children would create more criminals when the children are left orphaned. That’s _preposterous!_ All though that decree was abolished, it would be sometime before word got properly spread around. Not that Varian blamed anyone.

He tensed as he wiped the dust off the book, coughing and waving the dust away from his face. Rudiger sneezed a few times before shaking off some of the dust. The boy froze, straining to hear anything out of the ordinary and sighing in relief when he didn’t.

Gently, Varian lifted the cover of the book, scanning the table of contents. He flipped through the pages, moving past several cases from the start of King Frederic’s reign until he reached the desired timeframe...The years of Rapunzel’s disappearance. With Rudiger as a lookout, and an old pocket watch he found outside the ruins of one of Old Corona’s old houses to keep the time, he began to study the book.

At first, it was what he expected, if a bit gruesome. The beginning especially, since no one knew just how serious the king was with his death threats. The incidents slowly started to taper off as people adjusted.

Then he saw it. People mysteriously dying before their trials either by illness, suicide, or most often stated, prison riots.

All of them were Commoners.

Those that _did_ make it to trial, it wasn’t even a that! Most were _“tried in absentia_.” Those that were actually tried—you know, in front of a _judge—_ weren’t allowed a lawyer to help defend themselves. From the transcripts, it was as if the sentence was decided before the accused was even tried. Varian didn’t know the law very well, but he was pretty sure a fair and an unbiased trial was in his rights. He took in a shuddering breath before moving on, keeping a list on just how many were gone before trial.

The next couple pages were more or less the same. Varian had to bite his lip to keep from crying out because he _knew_ some of these people. The woman that talked about Valhalla? The one that died when he was eight? Well, he wasn’t far off. _Accused of stealing and trespassing._ Her fate? Trapped in a barrel filled with stones and dumped in the ocean. Varian threw up a little in his mouth.

The old woman, Ingrid Helvig, was the sweetest person he could remember—he didn’t know if he could really include Rapunzel in that list anymore. Ingrid owned a little flower shop near the center of town. Her greying hair tied into a warrior’s ponytail as she tended to the peonies and marigold, regaling small children to tales of Thor and Loki.

Ingrid was an older woman, probably well into her sixties, probably early seventies. She hardly ever left her shop unless it was important. Angry tears rolled down his face. Her trial had been done in absentia. How could these people sentence such a sweet woman, who could barely leave her home, to death for a crime that might have been innocent for?

He grit his teeth over the next cases, before smiling viciously. Lord Timothy of the province of Fluss accused of adultery. Varian frowned, Lord Timothy was alive and well. Furrowing his brow, he read the rest of the text before seeing red. His hands shook with rage. _“Fined 500 coin and on probation for one month.”_

That ninnyhammer only paid a fine?!

Timmy was unfortunately a lord, meaning he was loaded. 500 coin was pocket change to a guy like him. A foreign buzzing filled his chest as he seethed, static almost crackling at his fingers. Those pettifoggers shouldn’t be called lawyers! They’re nothing but _lickspittles!_

He stumbled back against the wall, gripping his head as he slid down. A small sob echoed through the room. Rudiger brushed against his side, trying to calm him down. Varian sniffed and wiped his nose. He’s just overreacting. Lord Timothy is one isolated case. Just because he got off doesn’t mean that the others didn’t.

Taking a deep breath, he stood back up with the last amount of grace he had, and began to read once more. It was a few more pages before he found another person high on the social ladder. To his dismay, they were also fined. Frustration building, Varian thumbed through more pages, searching for honorifics of the higher class.

Other than an exile—Lady Eloise of Twaen had been pretty pissed with her scullery maid so she _beheaded her_ —every accused of the higher class either paid a fine, temporarily lost their land, temporarily lost their titles, or were on probation. Not one of them paid the death sentence. There also was a lack of mysterious deaths.

How _wonderful._

Anger and hopelessness screamed inside him. The conspiracy wasn’t a conspiracy any longer. It was truth and he hated it. He hated being so naïve, illusioned with empty promises and flowery words to step back _. Don’t question it. It is what it is. There are other kingdoms that have less than we do!_

He should have never listened to the voices. He should have never allowed himself to take another’s word as truth just because he was in a high position of power. He should have learned that lesson with St. Croix the Phony.

**_He should have never listened to Rapunzel._ **

Varian wrapped his arms around himself. Those words, so damning, seared into his brain like branding on a cattle. Rapunzel said she was his friend, and yet, she left him in the dust. Left forgotten until she wanted to play again like some stupid toy. Cassie—no. _Cassandra_ never responded to any of his letters. She also said she was his _friend._ She said she should have never put ambition above a _friend_ , but was she really sincere? Or was she just trying to pacify him?

Eugene constantly—although probably unintentionally—talked him down. While there first impression wasn’t pleasant, neither is having your failures shoved in your face again. Especially if your village does it so often, its like a daily ritual.

Varian stopped; his hands dropped to his sides as Rudiger watched him intensely. Why…Why was he so concerned for his village if they’ve done nothing but constantly belittle him? There was no _try again Varian. I’m sure you’ll do it next time!_ Or _That’s sweet of you Varian! While it might not have succeeded, it’s the thought that counts._ Heck, not even _Perhaps you should hold back on experiments until you’ve apprenticed under a master._

Every day he’s met with scorn and people practically spit in his face. Was it his fault for trying? Was it so bad he wanted to be appreciated? His dad was always missed the science expo because he was busy. _Busy with a village that hated him. Busy in his study. Busy out in the fields. He was constantly busy busy busy!_

Varian couldn’t remember the last time his father said that he was proud of him.

He collapsed onto his knees. If he was such a disappointment his father could just say so, instead of letting Varian humiliate himself further. Varian struggled to contain his tears. Now that he thought about it, all his dad ever did was tell him NOT to do something, without offering a reason so he could understand better. He loved his father, but he was a very private person; maybe he was only private around Varian.

Varian bit down on his glove, his breathing rapid. His dad never told him how he expected Varian to act, just _Not again, Varian._ Not again? Not _again?!_ He would remember if he blew up his village twice!

He rocked back and forth, trying in vain to stifle his cries. Rudiger couldn’t do anything but offer a warm presence in his life. He…he needed _people._ Someone he could talk to, someone to help guide him. _He needs a parent._

A quiet, bitter laugh echoed in the tiny room past his lips, a feral smile stretched across his face. He was done being nice. He…wanted to help, yes, but they left him to rot. He wasn’t even allowed to buy food. Why should he help them? If it wasn’t Varian, who else would they ostracize? He was _fourteen_ and they were demanding his death.

No.

Varian would warn the people in Amber Glass, but that’s all. What the people do with that information was up to them. An unknown weight lifted from his chest. He was done burdening himself with others’ problems. He was done being selfless. He was done being kind. They took his kindness and stomped on it, turning it to dust.

They wanted a criminal? Fine. He’d give them a criminal.

Varian wiped away the last of his tears, brushing off his pants as he stood back up. The smile was gone, replaced with a face of stone. Oh yes, he’d free his father. If only to show him that he could do something of value for once. His father never encouraged him in alchemy or science. He wanted Varian to be like everyone else. A farmer. A safe career. Well, he didn’t want to be like everyone else! He wanted to be Varian! Was that so much to ask for?

He whimpered as yet another migraine tore through his head, this one more painful than the others. He glanced at his pocket watch and swore under his breath. The sun would rise in an hour, he needed an out.

Rudiger pointed up and stared at the ceiling. Varian followed the raccoon’s gaze to see a skylight. He smirked in challenge. “You certainly know how to have a good time, don’t you?” he cheeked to his friend. Rudiger purred in content, sitting on Varian’s feet.

Varian rolled his eyes but picked the raccoon up and placed him in his satchel. Once Rudiger was secure, he pulled out a violet vial. He poured it on the soles of his shoes, before putting the first foot on the wall.

He flicked the book closed and started walking up. He applied only a meager amount of his sticky solution so Varian would be able to move his feet and walk up the wall; even if that movement was jerky, ungraceful, and more like demented marching.

Once he reached the top, he gripped the bars of the skylight and swung over. Varian realized his mistake as he was left dangling from a twenty-foot height. “Uh…Ruddy? Mind helping a guy out?” he laughed nervously.

The raccoon popped out of the satchel, chittered, and climbed over Varian’s hanging body before squeezing through the bars of the skylight. “Show off,” he muttered, a small smile gracing his face. Rudiger unlocked the skylight, allowing for Varian to force it open by swinging back and forth.

Varian laughed breathlessly as he pulled rolled off the bars of the skylight and onto the ground of the upper wall of the castle. He closed the skylight, flinching at the squeak. Rudiger chattered happily beside him, crawling up onto Varian’s shoulder. He petted the raccoon, turning to look over the wall.

Corona in all its glory spread before him. The sunset flared in reds, oranges, and yellows, bathing the land its it’s golden light. The sky swirled with color almost like a painting. Fluffy pink and yellow clouds dotted the deep red and orange sky. Wisps of the dark blue of nighttime laid low at the horizon before vanishing completely. Varian basked in the sun’s golden glow, the wind tousling his hair. He could feel the sun’s rays sliding over him. The crickets and owls died down for the morning as cheerful songbirds sang loud and proud with beautiful melodies.

He didn’t care much for the people of Corona anymore, maybe if they were competent or children, but other than that they can all burn. As soon as he freed his father, he was leaving. He didn’t belong in Corona, not then, and certainly not now. Here, he was always the odd one out in the least flattering way. He wanted to be in a place that allowed him to express himself. A place to _fly free._

He could imagine soaring above the tops of trees and flying by waterfalls, feeling the cool mist spray in his face. He yearned for that feeling. He shook out of his fantasy when Rudiger stroked his cheek, softly cooing. Nodding in agreement, Varian disappeared over the castle wall, but not before vanishing the solution from his shoes.

He was going to free his father, but he needed to find the Sundrop first. Varian grinned to himself. All he needed were some supplies.

**_After all, you’d be surprised what people will tell you for a cookie._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: All the swears during the lawbook scene are actual swears! They fell out of use, so technically they're clean, right? Have fun looking those up.


	10. Letters Dripping with Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian makes the final preparations to put his plans in motion, but can't help but feel dread as he moves forward. Not to mention the nightmares screwing with his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the dream sequences are dark. I had started writing the dreams after my own nightmares to calm down. I didn't realize how creepy I actually made them until I looked over them. I won't change it for now, but if its too much then TELL ME please.

Varian sat at his desk, his head resting his hands. Beside him, Rudiger curled in a ball, tail lazily swinging back and forth. Scattered papers covered the desk, some were blueprints and alchemy equations—solutions to free his father—but none of them have succeeded so far. However, there was one page that stood out from the rest. Instead of paper, this was parchment, written with ink instead of lead. The words **_“The Plan”_** freshly written in fine calligraphy on the top part of the parchment.

The following paragraphs’ penmanship contrasted harshly against the jotted down scribbles Varian was known for. This spoke of much thought, instead of rushed ideas that needed fine-tuning before being applied in future use. They were categorized in a way similar to a to-do list.

** Phase One **

**~~Get ingredients from either forest or black market~~ **

**~~Brew truth serum~~ **

**~~Assemble floating lantern~~ **

**Hide Graphtyc in lab**

**Tie letter and key to lantern**

**Send to Rapunzel**

**Purposely loiter in public to attract guards**

**Lead them to Rapunzel (and friends)**

**Allow Rapunzel to draw the conclusion that the king can’t be trusted**

** Phase Two **

Phase two laid empty, waiting for Varian to fill its empty space. He knew what was next. After Rapunzel’s trust in her father was shaken, he would administer the cookies to the staff and elite; one of them was bound to know where the flower was.

If the flower still existed of course.

He had contingency plans—obviously—but they were weak and couldn’t free his father. He would let the cases inside that stupid lawbook leak, as no doubt it already was from the outrage of the crowd of Amber Glass. Oopsie Daisy, his mistake. _Not really, but you get the point._ The people would rebel and Corona would be torn apart from the inside, all because of the king’s incompetence. But that could take _ages_ and his father would never be freed. Because family looks out for one another. At least his dad got the memo eventually, if only it wasn’t during a _life or death situation._

What did his father think would happen? That his neighbors would take him in in some sort of twisted sense of duty? He snorted at the thought. They most likely would have taken pleasure of burning him at the stake, bunch of jerks they were.

He turned his thoughts back to the flower. There was no way the king would give an item of such magical power away and he would be a fool to destroy it. No, he had to hide it somewhere in the castle. The only question was _where?_

Rudiger uncurled and stretched out, brushing against Varian’s side and tilting his head. The alchemist scratched the raccoon’s head before turning back to his work. But how did he know the princess would be the one to receive the lantern? There was too much room for error. 

Varian looked over his shoulder to the blanket covered mass in his lab. Only a small hole allowed for the viewer to get an idea of what that mass was. He sighed. Error was all he’s ever accomplished. What’s the difference if he makes a few more? He picked up his quill and wrote.

** Phase Two **

**Bake truth cookies**

**“Gift” truth cookies to a guard, then staff**

**Let Rudiger lead Rapunzel to his hiding spot**

**Persuade Rapunzel to steal the flower**

**Steal flower**

**Free his dad**

**Vacate to another kingdom or country**

He nodded in satisfaction as he placed the quill down. It was a solid plan. He’d create a drill and coat it with the Sundrop. Rapunzel’s hair reacted to the black rocks, so the Sundrop must to. Hopefully it would break the amber and free his father.

He tugged at the string around his neck. He had long gotten used to the feeling of it on his body, sometimes he forgets that he’s still wearing it. He was surprised that it was made of brass, but grateful so he could avoid an allergic reaction. He fiddled with it, turning it over several times in his hand. Could he part with it? He’s fully translated the text now, so why was he worried?

He gripped the key tightly, why was he so afraid to surrender it? It’s not like he wouldn’t get the scroll back. If Rapunzel did as he anticipated, she would hand him the scroll back, no problem. He just didn’t know if he really knew Rapunzel anymore.

He ran his hand over his face. He was out of options. He had to make due with the cards he was dealt. Resolved, he pulled off the makeshift necklace. The key dangled from the string as if it didn’t have a major role to play.

He banged his head on the table.

He wanted to scream and scream _loudly._ He wanted to throw himself on the floor and cry his guts out, tear out his hair, kick and scream some more until there was nothing left. He was frazzled, burning the candle at both ends, endlessly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The guards, the rocks, Rapunzel, the amber, Corona, Old Corona, Cassandra and Eugene, the people of Amber Glass, potential death sentence, loss of freedom, did he even have freedom in the first place? What was freedom? A concept, perhaps. Like time? He doesn’t know what to think. To _feel._

His breathing quickens to sharp gasps of breath. Is he loving? Is he spiteful? Does he care? Or is he apathetic? Who is he really? He’s not the happy-go-lucky person that the princess met those months ago. He doesn’t want the innocent to suffer but who really is innocent in this? They trusted the monarchy so blindly that they were willing to crucify a fourteen-year-old.

The world is spinning and he crumples to the ground, hands pressed against his head. Was everything he knew a lie? Incomplete sentences and fragments of thoughts raced through his mind faster and faster and _faster_ and he can’t make it stop. A shrill scream shocks him out of his panic. The voices grow quiet and so does the scream. He looks around the lab wildly before relaxing. There is only him and his friend. He dully registers the claw marks on his arm, oozing with blood. Rudiger watches him guiltily before bringing back the roll of bandages.

Varian is on auto-pilot. He stands back up, dusts himself off, rinses off his wound, bandages it, then back to the desk. He can’t hold the quill. His hand shakes, ruining the new parchment for his letter with droplets of ink everywhere.

He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want _this._ His heart is clawing itself painfully in his chest and tearing at his throat. His dad wouldn’t want this. _Mamaí wouldn’t want this._

Varian blinked and the haze is gone. Mama, _Mamaí,_ he hasn’t thought about her like that in…

He whined as yet another splitting headache hammers him at full force. Rudiger stroked his cheek in reassurance, but they both knew that there was little to be done. The desk rattled at the force of Varian’s punch.

He was frustrated. He’s missing something but he can’t access it. He felt like a dog, trying desperately to get the bone that dangled in front of his face before it was snatched away.

He coughed harshly, gripping his desk for support. Whatever it was, it was just out of his reach. He had other priorities at the moment. Rudiger climbed up onto Varian’s shoulders, nuzzling him in the neck.

Varian relaxed at Rudiger’s familiar touch. He had no idea how much he relied on his friend until recently. Rudiger was his anchor to the real world, otherwise, he would drift away to who knows where. “Am I going too far?” He would have been called insane for asking a question to a raccoon, but Rudiger was different. _He_ was different

Rudiger blinked and leapt off of Varian. He circled around the papers on the desk before curling back into a ball. Varian snorted. “You’re no help.” But scratched him behind the ears anyway.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

_It is cold and blinding white. It seeps into his flesh and bones despite the cover his cloak provided. The wind blows harshly in his face, burning it with its chill. The flat white world around him stretches on and on for miles. There is only him and two others, both sealed behind a shimmering barrier._

_The first one is a large bird. Dark plumage, blue **human** eyes, and a blue feather at the tip of each of its wings. It was a sickly thing; its feathers lost their sheen and its legs almost permanently curled tightly into itself._

_He absently fingers with the blue streak in his hair. “What are you?” he wants to ask, but his voice is carried away by the wind. Yet, the bird bows its head in sorrow._

**_“I am you.”_ **

_The bird coughs, feathers falling off him with every hacking breath. He is slowly fading out of existence, dying. But Varian knows its ok, because deep down, he knows he’s dying too. Varian coughs with the bird, covering his face by force of habit._

_The second grows darker every minute. Unlike the bird, it has no form. It is not alive, nor is it dead. Its not a person, its not a thing. It just **is** , and Varian feels sick just by looking at it. It moves like the wind, carelessly and fluid, a never-ending storm._

**_It_ ** _is preying on the bird and by extension, Varian, but that’s not right. **It** is a part of Varian too. He could feel **It** touching his mind, buzzing in his chest, filling the empty place where the bird used to be. **It** is slimy and cold just like the land around them._

_“What are you?” he asks again, this time his voice ringing loud and clear. The wind stops. He stumbles back, unused to the missing force of wind. Varian slams his hands over his ears, the silence is so loud it makes his ears bleed._

_Small droplets of ice land onto the soft snow. It’s impossible—tears are salty, they can’t FREEZE—but he pays no mind. Tears are not important, but **It** is. He watches silently as **It** rumbles like a thunderstorm. The bird wilts under the darkness and Varian’s eyes droop. _

_The rumble turns into a dark, horrible laughter. It brings no comfort to Varian. This…This **thing** doesn’t belong here. **It** is a parasite and Varian is **Its** host. **~~“I am the future.”~~** **Its** voice is low and distorted past the point of recognition. **It** is ugly and smothering, filling his cracks with sticky black goo. He coughs and he coughs and he coughs but there is nothing but goo. _

_He claws his chest until it’s red and raw, yet nothing stops the goo. He can’t breathe and he tries to scream but there is only goo. The bird can’t help, it screeches painfully and hits the barrier over and over again until it’s just a mess of feathers, but it can’t stop the goo._

**_It_ ** _grows larger with every cry and struggle. Varian cries tears of glass as the black goo stops him from breathing. The bird lays in the snow, defeated as **It** only laughs and grows stronger. _

\------------------------------------------------

Varian lurched in his bed, gasping for breath. His chest was red and raw and his vision was blurred with tears. He coughed viciously to the point of retching because he can still feel _**It**_ inside him.

But there is no goo.

\------------------------------------------------

It’s midnight. He knew Rudiger wouldn’t like him up this late, it’s fine for a raccoon but not for Varian. The only light he had is the soft, warm glow of candlelight as he worked in his father’s study. He’s disregarded boundaries at this point. There was no Dad to scold him, so why worry?

For the twelfth time that night, he crumpled a piece of paper and tossed it behind him, along with the other discarded letters. He can’t be too friendly, after all he’s been through, it wouldn’t sound right. His attempts of friendliness would come off mocking. No, he needed to remain professional, but still “friendly”.

He took a deep breath and stared at the wall. The candlelight cast dancing shadows on the wall but he feels no fear. His hand shook as he started to write _another_ draft, it would probably end like most of the others. Varian isn’t afraid. He can’t afford to be afraid. Instead, he writes a letter. _“Rapunzel…”_

_\------------------------------------------------_

_He is standing in a room. Upon close inspection, it appeared to be made completely out of the rocks. He has no time to question this, as his feet move on their own. Varian can do nothing as he’s forced to walk through the dark hallways until he arrives at a large door._

_He panics as he loses control of his body. His arms pushed the door open and he walks into an unlit room. Unlit, except for a small stone in a cage of black rock. He screams but his mouth doesn’t open. His body moves on its own accord, reaching closer and closer to the glowing stone. **It** crawls underneath his skin. He can feel **It** relishing the power rolling off of the stone. _

_He feels sticky and gross, unnatural and…something else. The goo is stuck in his lungs, an no amount of coughing can get it out. He can move again; he realizes it as he pounds his chest, hoping to loosen **It.**_

**_“ Wither and Decay…”_ **

_Varian freezes. **It** is bubbling in his throat, trying to respond to the ethereal voice._

**_ “End this destiny…” _ **

**_It_ ** _wants to turn around. Varian shutters at the darkness from the voice, but he too, wants to turn around. The voice is familiar and spine-tingling. He’s heard it before he swears._

**_ “Break these earthly chains…” _ **

**_It_ ** _forces **Itself** out of Varian’s body. He retches as slime drops from his mouth. **It** is foul and bitter with hints of sour, staining his teeth black and smelling like rot. **It** steals his life force, leaving him weak and dying. _

**_ “And set the spirit free…”  _ **

_Varian crumples to the ground, completely drained. His hair is no longer the shade of a raven’s wing, but instead grey as the moon. He can feel the color leaving him behind. He wheezes in pain, but turns around and looks—_

_A lock of dark hair strangles him to death._

_\-------------------------------------------_

He could feel Rudiger’s stare of disapproval as he tied the now completed letter to the lantern, but he couldn’t find the energy to care. Last night—Varian shuddered just at the mere mention—was one of the worst in his life. He remembers flashes of what he dreamed, but the dark song was nothing more than a demented melody in his head now.

He knows Rudiger wants what’s best for him, but he feels like there aren’t any options left. If there was a better way for Varian to do this, he would in a heartbeat. He placed the lantern down and ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe…Maybe he could try to negotiate with Rapunzel before committing?

_—Eyes dark as night filled with hate as he struggled to breathe. A cold sneer on her pale face as the last bit of his life force is drained—_

Varian grabbed Rudiger and held him close, tears threatening to fall. “It’s not real,” he whispered as he slid to the floor, shivering out of control. “It’s not real.”

Rudiger cooed and purred, trying to keep the dark thoughts at bay. He nodded along with his boy, _It’s not real my friend. Focus on the now._

Varian’s tense body relaxed, if only slightly, at Rudiger’s reassurance. Dreams are just dreams. His doubt and anxiety are just manifesting in the worse way possible in his dreams because he refuses to give in when he’s awake.

How long will that last?

How much longer can he go on?

Rudiger stays perched on his shoulder as they walked out of the house, lantern in hand. He purposely left the graphtyc in an easy to see place in his lab. The key glinted with sunlight from where it was tied on the lantern. Everything was in order, but he can’t help the feeling of dread that pools in his stomach.

He sticks to the shadows, moving quickly and quietly. Rudiger is by his side, his feet make soft pitter patters as he scurries on the earth’s floor. For a while, its just him and Rudiger, sticking to the side of pathways and hiding in shadows and trees. Further down the way, they pass a rider or two. The riders wave jauntily as they pass by, but Varian and Rudiger make no such acknowledgement.

Finally, they hike up a tall hill, overlooking the capital. Varian can see Rapunzel’s statue a little ways from the courtyard, it looks small enough to fit in his hand from where he stands. It’s a perfect area for the lantern to land.

He makes sure the key and letter are tightly secure before he lights the lantern. As he watches it fly high in the sky, Varian’s never felt so conflicted. He watches its slow descent before it lands—perfectly if he might add—right in front of the statue with other gifts to the princess.

Varian can’t help but scoff. “What is it, a shrine to the princess? That can’t be healthy.” Rudiger gave the raccoon equivalent of laughter as the raccoon rolled around in the grass. He raises his brow as he watches his furry friend _apparently_ lose his sanity.

“What? What’s so fun—”

Varian groaned; a large _SLAP_ echoed across the hill as he facepalmed. “Oh god, I’m an idiot.” Rudiger nodded in agreement.

The alchemist sputtered in disbelief. “What—Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

As the boy and the raccoon bickered on top of a hill, a certain golden-haired princess finds a lantern among several gifts left for her birthday at the base of her statue.


	11. PLEASE READ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read this its important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like really important I don't want to string you along guys.

First of all, I would like to apologize for disappearing last week. My family decided to take a surprise vacation to let ourselves relax before October. Hence, why there was no update last week. Which brings be to my next point.

There will not be an update this week or next.

Honestly, I don't expect there to be any updates in October. A few days ago, I had my wisdoms removed and that was horrible. I'm a bit better now, but I didn't want to leave you in the dark. Of course, you're probably wondering "But Ginger, it only takes a couple weeks to recover from wisdom removal!" and your right! but I also have two other minor surgeries to worry about this month. 

I haven't had the time to do Inktober or Tangledtober and it really hurts my feelings because I was so pumped! Plus, season 3 so far has been amazing in my personal opinion. (OUR BOY IS HAPPY) I thought Varian's redemption was a tad bit soon, but Rapunzel and co. have been gone like a year, so its plausible. 

I am not abandoning this fic (Its like my baby guys I worked sO HARD) I'm just taking October off for health (Mental and physical) reasons. I'm so thrilled you all enjoy my fic so much which is why I'm bothering to write this at all. I'm crying as I'm writing this i didn't expect for many people to like this.

ALSO! While season 3 is great, I am not including it in the story. I started writing this before season 3 and I have a plan for it (hence "canon divergence") I will add stuff from season 2 but mostly, after Secret of the Sundrop, everything is au afterwards.

(P.S I tried to do a good amount of foreshadow in chapters but im slightly worried i made it too vague or used an incorrect word somewhere)

Thanks for reading this,  
GingerbreadPopSolo


	12. Are There Therapists For Kingdoms?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian has a heart to heart with Rudiger, is a snarky disaster, and is questioning the mental state of the people of Corona. Someone save him before he commits the crime he's being accused of. Besides treason of course, and trespassing, and theft...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously, the characters aren't mine, and some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken from "The Alchemist Returns." This is a two parter, be warned. Also, I am not updating every Saturday anymore. This will be an every 2 weeks or once a month kind of deal now because of the looming holidays (I hate Christmas shopping with a passion. My family is impossible to buy for seriously). Anyways! Enjoy this madness!

Varian couldn’t decide to be in awe or shock. Most likely it was a mixture of both. Yeah, he’d do that. He didn’t need to draw the guards to the princess. He didn’t have to do a thing! _Somehow,_ she managed to not bring one or two guards that he originally planned for, no. Instead, she somehow lured and _an entire squadron_. The king dug himself into a deeper hole in Varian’s books.

He was immensely grateful that he didn’t have to do handstands while Rudiger juggled fruit like he planned. It was hard enough to do that in the lab; to do it with people _watching_ would have made it so much worse. At least he didn’t have to humiliate himself any further.

Flashes of his time of the Science Expo with Cassandra surfaced in his mind. He bit his lip and fiddled with his gloves. He didn’t like thinking of before. _“Because that’s what friends do, right?”_ He’d never had a friend before, barring Rudiger, but he’s sure that abandonment isn’t a part of it.

Looking back, she only wanted him around so she could get her job done quickly, hadn’t she? Cassandra was going to tell him to piss off before she saw what he did with the stain on the tablecloth. He snorted, burying the stinging in his heart. Yes, she’s _quite_ the friend.

Rudiger’s faint chitters brought him back to the present. Varian’s breathing stilled as the footsteps of a passing guard came closer and closer. _This is the stupidest thing I’ve done so far…today._ Before he could change his mind, he grabbed the plate of cookies and thrusted his arms out of the bush he was hiding in. **_“Would you like a cookie?”_**

_\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

“The vault. Of _course,_ it was the vault. How could I be so stupid?” he muttered to himself from his new hiding place at the docks. Rudiger swatted at him lightly, glaring in disapproval. The raccoon hadn’t been fond of the truth serum—to tell the truth _*snort*_ neither was he—but Varian had plowed through anyway.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Rudiger,” the raccoon narrowed his eyes at the tone in his voice. “If I had known he’d be _that_ chatty I wouldn’t have given him the rest of the cookies to give to the staff.” Rudiger still looked unimpressed but nodded for Varian to go on.

“I don’t like hurting people unnecessarily, and I _don’t_ this plan any more than you d— _stop_ with that look I do! Do you really think I would risk getting caught for _actual treason_ if I didn’t think it was the only option?”

He sighed, bringing his knees to his chest. “I just… ugh.” He turned away from his friend and stared out at the docks. Rudiger cooed softly in concern, rubbing his head against Varian’s side. He smiled at the raccoon before it fell away. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

He buried his face in his hands. “I say there’s no other options but there _is._ I could just leave! Take my belongings and hightail it to…I-I don’t know…Arendelle maybe? Paris? Hell, even _Vardaros_ would be good! A little close for comfort but doable.” He turned back to his furry friend, watching him intently. “But I _can’t._ ”

“I can’t leave him like that without knowing if he… if _he…”_

Sobs intertwined with harsh coughing. Varian could hardly breathe. He gasped for air as Rudiger stroked his cheeks. It helped him calm down so the sobs would fade, but the coughs remain persistent. He appreciated the effort though. “Thanks buddy.” he managed between coughs.

He feebly offered a small fist bump once his coughing spell started to fade. His smile slowly returned as Rudiger did the fist bump back. He chuckled at the look of confusion on Rudiger’s face as he did it, the darkness at the edge of his vision slowly melting away.

He paused as Rudiger suddenly stiffened. Before he could say anything, the furry animal bounded off towards the dock. Varian froze for a few moments, bewildered by Rudiger’s hasty exit. _What’s up with him?_ A sharp gasp answered his unspoken question.

The princess had sat down in one of the rowboats.

With his improved reflexes from sneaking around all the time, the princess barely said Rudiger’s name before he grabbed and shushed her as he landed in the boat. Her eyes lit up at the sight of him, making Varian a tiny bit guilty _. But she betrayed you!_ His mind seethed. _They all did! They left you!_ He didn’t get the time to mentally retort before the princess wrapped him in a tight squeeze. “Oh, _Varian._ Where have you been? I…I have been so worried about you!”

Varian tried not stiffen at her touch. It was warm and soothing and _completely_ undeserved because of what he had planned. “Yeah, uh…I had to lie low,” he said as the princess released her hold. He relaxed as Rudiger jumped in his lap, butting his head against his hand in apology. “Yeah, uh, funny thing. The people of Corona aren’t uh… too keen on guys who attack their princess.”

He couldn’t stop the small smile at the familiarity of just, being next to her. It was also the first time in _months_ someone was talking to him as Varian, and not a mysteriously cloaked stranger. Quite refreshing if he was honest, despite the circumstances.

He was taken aback at her confused stare. “Attack me? You mean during the storm? You came for help.”

Anger burned hot and sharp in his chest. _Then why didn’t you say anything?! You were there!_

“And you got to see why I needed your help,” he replied, trying to keep his tone as calm and even as possible without any bitter undertones. It was harder than he thought. Was she really that naïve?

The princess gasped. “Oh, Varian.” He had to hide the wince at the sorrow and remorse in her tone. She was making this so much harder than it needed to be.

He took a deep breath. This wasn’t for her; it was for him, a harsh reality he’s been too afraid to confront until now. _Do it for dad. Just do it for dad._

“You did what you had to do; you had a kingdom to save.” _But what about after? You could have come **then**. I wouldn’t have been left **alone** then. Why didn’t you help me? _“But you can help me now, Rapunzel.” The name felt wrong coming out of his lips, as if he was no longer worthy of such privilege. “Do you have the scroll?”

He watched in both warmth and heartbreak as she pulled out the scroll. She babbled nervously about it, but Varian’s mind was elsewhere. It was as if the world had plunged underwater, white noise roaring in his ears.

It…it was hard to be angry…angry at _her._ She had become almost like a sister to him, practically like family. _Maybe that’s why it hurt so much._ Sitting here in the boat only confirmed his suspicions. Did he hate what she did? _Hell yes,_ it stung like a hornet. But did he hate _her?_

No, he could never.

He was quickly drawn back to the present. While he didn’t understand _everything_ she had said, he got the gist of it. He sighed. “Now, it took me a while to translate this old language, but from what I can tell…”

He hoped she would forgive him, but something told Varian that it wasn’t meant to be.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_This wasn’t part of the plan. This wasn’t part of the plan. This waS’NT PART OF THE PLAN!!!_

Varian was finding it very hard to mask his panic as the princess led him in the _opposite_ direction of the royal vaults, away from the flower. “Princess, what are we doing here?!” he whisper yelled. “The flower is most likely in the royal vault and that’s on the—”

“—other side of the castle, I know. But if we want to get past the vault security, our best bet is to use the underground tunnels, and Herz De Sonne’s journal has a complete map of them.”

_Or we could just, you know, knock them out? But whatever._

On a normal day, Varian would be ecstatic to see these underground tunnels and the journal of Herz De Sonne himself. If he wasn’t so terrified that they’d be caught and he’d be hanged for “corrupting the princess and being a menace to all society,” Varian would be jumping for joy! But today is not a normal day; today he’s breaking and entering, committing treason—for real this time—and theft.

He wondered if he was being smited…or is it smote? Was this how being smote felt like? Was this punishment for his past mistakes. If so, it _sucked._

Oh, she went inside the room. Okay, Okay. This is fine. This is fine. Varian stood in the hallway like a startled deer, his eyes constantly darting to the sides, looking for a threat. Where was the princess? Why was she taking so long? Was she caught? _Oh crap, what if she’s turning him in?_

Stupid Varian! Stupid, stupid, _stupid Varian!_ He shouldn’t have let her out of his sight! He just wanted to trust again, trust _her_ again. Even if he shattered her trust in him in an hour or two. His hands were trembling and his legs went shaky. He needed to trust her right now. He hoped to whatever deity up there that he wasn’t wrong— _please don’t let him be wrong._ Varian forced himself to swallow his panic and peek inside.

To his complete, and utter relief, the princess was alone, clutching what could only be the journal, and staring at her father’s portrait. “What am I doing?” he heard ask softly. Oh no. Oh _no. oh no no no._ She couldn’t have second thoughts now. He…He needed her. He wasn’t lying when he said that, he _needs her._ She can’t abandon him again. Not now.

He hadn’t noticed when he started walking towards her but he definitely noticed when he stopped. “Rapunzel! You got what we came for. C’mon let’s go.” He didn’t need to mask any urgency in his tone. Varian was way too close to throwing up right now and his plans did not involve him throwing up at all. He wanting to make sure it stayed that way.

Preferably far, far away from this psychotic kingdom and hidden in a cottage by the sea. Alone…barring Rudiger.

The princess sighed, clutching the journal tighter to her chest. “Taking the journal, stealing the flower, Varian, these are all acts of treason.”

_Really? No kidding? I thought this was just as simple as going to the market and buying vegetables. How informative. Why are we having this discussion?_

He couldn’t help but speak out. Why did it feel like she was stringing him along? The sticky feeling had returned in his chest and it took everything in him not to cough. He wouldn’t want to be accused of trying to give the princess the plague.

“This may be my dad’s only hope.” He saw her eyes narrow slightly. Dang it, he needed to fix this. “This may be Corona’s only hope,” he amended. Smooth. Nice work, Varian. “Rapunzel, _Corona_ needs our help.” And it does need help, _psychological help._

The princess sighed again, gazing at the floor. “For Corona.” He could _feel_ the dejection and insecurity rolling off her in waves. Why did that feel like that was repeated often in her presence? Why did she act like it was the end of the world?

Was it because of her dad?

.

.

It was her dad.

Dad’s suck.

The princess shook out of her stupor. “Come on,” she said as she dragged him out of the room by his arm. Holy crap her arm was strong.

They had barely made it around the corner before Eugene popped out of nowhere. “Blondie! Whatcha doing?” Varian hastily flattened himself against the wall, hoping all his attention would be focused on Rapunzel instead of him. He was afraid to breathe lest Eugene used his sneaky ex-con skills and finds Varian’s pathetic hiding spot. Images of him hanging on the gallows with people throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at him made him bring his hands to his neck as if to protect it.

“Doing?” Rapunzel asked nervously. “I wasn’t doing anything.” She propped herself against the wall, maybe hoping to hide him further? Whatever it was, he could tell her boyfriend was suspicious. Hell, _he_ was suspicious and he was the thing Rapunzel was hiding!

“What do ya got there?”

Ah crud, he forgot about the book.

“What?” she asked innocently while slamming the book hard into Varian’s torso. He yelped at the unexpected force. Um, ow?! That was going to bruise for sure. Was it necessary to hit him that hard? Why not discreetly pass the book? Was he not high enough on friendship points turn earn that respect?

“Nothing, Nothing!”

He could hear Pascal’s eyeroll. Please someone teach this woman how to lie properly, he’s dying inside. Her boyfriend’s an ex-con. They are going to get caught and **_die_** in his case. King Freddy would probably just send her to her room.

“Right,” he heard Eugene’s voice say. “Okay. I know you want to be alone, but Cass and I—”

Why was the princess looking at him, why was the princess looking at him, _FOR SUN’S SAKE LOOK AWAY!_ Varian used every pleading facial expression he could think of to make her look away, furiously shaking his head. He cringed as she laughed nervously, finally looking away but way too late for it to **not** be suspicious.

“…You okay?”

Please say yes. Please function like the human being he knows she is.

“Mm-hmm!”

That’s it. He’s dead. Time to write the will.

“…Rapunzel?”

_Herein lies the last will and testament of Varian Alexander Quirinson as of the 17 th of June, 1769, written sound of body and mind._

“Eugene, how far would you go to find the truth?”

_In the event of my death, I bequeath Rudiger the raccoon all my earthly possession sans money as he is a raccoon and has no use for it. To my father I bequeath all my alchemy supplies sans goggles and gloves. I want to be buried with them if possible. If he’s dead then give it all to the raccoon. He knows what to do._

“Personally, not very far.”

Varian blinked. Well, hallelujah. He lives to see another day.

“Frankly, the truth’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” He had to slap his hand over his mouth to not snort. “Frankly _,_ ” Varian thinks Eugene is understating it. _“The truth’s not all it’s cracked up to be,”_ indeed.

“Blondie, you sure you’re alright?”

Perfectly fine, just peachy. Now **_leave already!_** He’s on schedule here. Number one on this list is to not get caught so if they could hurry this thing up, that would be great.

“Yeah, sorry. I just…” Varian saw the princess run her fingers through her hair. “I’ve had a lot to process lately.” He bit back a retort and settled for rolling his eyes. She thinks _this_ is a lot to process? Wait till Varian pulls all the skeletons hiding in Fred’s closet. She’d be horrified.

“I promise I’ll talk when I’m ready… okay?” Varian shifted from one foot to the other anxiously. On one hand, he felt like he was invading on a private moment. On the other, they _really_ needed to leave, preferably without him being arrested and thrown into the sea with his body bound.

He couldn’t see Eugene fully, but he did see when he placed his hand on the princess’s shoulder. “Okay, just let me know if you need anything.” Eugene told her warmly before walking away. As soon as he turned, Rapunzel grabbed Varian by the wrist and tugged him away into the next hallway.

As she pulled him through the castle, Varian tried to make a mental map of the palace, but he couldn’t get it all straight. Everywhere he turned there were still more corridors and doors. His head spun as she tugged him along at almost impossible speeds.

When she finally stopped, Varian collapsed onto his knees. Ragged breaths tore through his lungs. “What…How did you move so _fast?”_ he panted, hands on the floor. He’s been on the run for months and he couldn’t move that fast!

The princess smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “Practice.” Just by looking at Pascal Varian knew that was a lie, or at least, a half-truth. Maybe because the weight of her hair increased her mass, causing gravity—

“Varian, focus,” the princess whispered urgently. Heavy footsteps and idle chatter of the guards approached quickly but not quietly, but it was enough to shake him out of that interesting thought. He’d have to factor that in later.

“Right, right. Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks brilliant shade of red. He almost screwed up his entire mission because of _hair._ He needed to be more careful, especially considering… his eyes darted to where the princess was crouched down, her hair spilling over her shoulders and the floor like a golden waterfall, and that was with her hair in braid.

Rapunzel motioned him to come over before subtly pointing to an open window. Hearing the guards coming closer, Varian nodded and crawled behind the suits of armor to the window. He waved for the princess to follow him and together they exited into the courtyard, missing the passing guards by seconds.

The princess giggled as they walked further into the courtyard. “That was great! And terrifying. Terrifyingly great!”

“Is there going to be anymore terrifyingly great things ahead?” Varian asked, his voice strained. That was way too close for Varian’s liking and if Rapunzel paid attention, she would have noticed. His hair was slightly unkept from fingering it in stress, his hands shook, and his body tensed; he was wound as tight as a spring.

Rapunzel’s smile faded as she strolled along. “Let’s hope not.” She opened the journal and thumbed through the pages. “We need to find the entrance to the tunnels. Have you seen the sun mosaic in town square?”

“Yea, it’s kinda hard to miss.” The mosaic was small but striking, created in celebration of Rapunzel’s return. It took him about five steps to cross the very center of the sun.

“The entrance is the size of the center of the sun. It’ll look like a stone carving into the ground.”

Varian frowned. “That’s all it says? Where is it?”

Rapunzel grinned sheepishly. “Ah, about that. It says it’s in the courtyard.”

“Okay? Why is that a problem?”

“When this was written, the castle was smaller and only had one courtyard.”

Varian resisted the urge to scream. He severely regretted not letting Rudiger come along in the castle with him. He hoped the raccoon would find him before they found the entrance. Otherwise, Varian might have to add murder to his growing list of felonies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to write, I can only hope that the next one doesn't take as long. See you in a couple weeks!


	13. Crumbling Foundations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian is convinced that his friendship with Rapunzel has crumbled beyond repair, but between dodging booby-traps and escaping several near-death experiences, he finds himself slowly rebuilding what he thought he lost, despite his mission. But everyone knows that a house built on sand is the first to fall.  
> (Some of the dialogue is taken from Tangled the Series: S1 Episode 20: The Alchemist Returns  
> I do not own the TangledVerse or its characters. If I did, then a lot of my headcanons wouldn't be headcanons)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned out to be a once a month thing. Sorry about that. December really kicked my butt. I had to write this 20 mins every other day because I was so busy. I rewrote this chapter like, three times because i was unsatisfied. Still not 100% happy but its way better than the first few drafts. But hey! its just in time for new years! what better way to kick it off with a ridiculously long chapter?

After searching three courtyards, dodging guards, trying not to deface the castle noticeably, and dodging _more_ guards—all in a span of five hours he might add, “I found the entrance!” Varian whispered to no one in particular. He preferred to think himself as addressing Rudiger with the princess just in earshot. The coon had found him again when he and the princess were searching courtyard #2 on hour three, and boy, were those hours long.

Deciding to throw caution into the wind, Varian went ahead and jumped down. Best case scenario, he’s fine. Worst case? Worst case is he dies, but at least it’ll be quick. He won’t get that luxury if the king has anything to say about it.

As he suspected, ignoring the quick pace of his beating heart, he landed fine with all limbs attached. _It wasn’t even that deep,_ he noted as he briefly inspected the area. “Down here!” Varian raised his voice louder than before. The princess and their band of furry/scaly friends followed him down without hesitation.

After dusting herself off, the princess walked down the tunnel with Varian following quickly behind, lighting up the glowsticks on his staff. He hadn’t wanted to call them glowsticks at first—they were _vials_ not sticks—but the name stuck.

“We have to go this way,” the princess said as she led them down one of the tunnels, using the journal as a guide. The damp musky air and the sound of rats squeaking and scrambling in the tunnels made Varian’s hair stand on end. The princess didn’t seem too concerned, but maybe that was because she was focused on the book.

After a few minutes of walking, they came to a crossroad. Varian watched her anxiously as she bit her lip. “Um,” her eyes flickered to the left. “That way?” It came out more like a question then Varian was comfortable with, but he followed anyway, his hands twitching every so often.

Despite the creepy and dark feelings that came from these tunnels and the sticky feeling in his chest, he couldn’t help but be in awe. “Wow,” he breathed, taking in the sight of the beautiful stone arches that prevented the tunnels from collapsing. He couldn’t hold in the bounces at the amazing craftmanship at work.

He felt a true, genuine smile grow on his face. “Oh, oh! These tunnels depict an ancient technology of pre-Corona er— _AH!”_ He stumbled back in fear and surprise at the sudden appearance of a human skeleton. His heart raced a hundred miles a minute because _any_ skeleton, human or otherwise, was a bad sign. And this?

Definitely bad sign.

“Uh, yea. This way.” He said as he started walking in the opposite direction, hoping that the princess would take his lead for once and _run_.

The princess lightly grabbed him—but firm enough to make him flinch—on the shoulder. “We’ve got to be careful. Herz de Sonne’s tunnels may have been long forgotten, but that doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous.” She scanned the cracked walls of the tunnel warily before shuddering. “They are lined with deadly booby traps.”

Varian forced himself to put on a mask of false bravado. _Deadly booby traps?!_ That would have been nice to know before he jumped down here! He forced a laugh while pushing the princess from his personal space so she wouldn’t notice the faltering of his smile. “As you can recall,” he gave the best cocky grin he could muster and pointed to himself. “I know a thing or two about booby traps.” _So, sharing the fact that they were going to a place lined with them would have been nice so he could have had the proper tools to deal with it!_

He had to walk away from her lest he punch her in the face in his aggravation. Punching her would be detrimental to his mission, and in a booby-trapped hallway? That’s the last thing he needed. He barely registered the princess’s warning before he stepped on a stone button. He yelped in surprise as two arrows embedded themselves in his staff, the color draining from his face. _He would be dead if he hadn’t positioned his staff just right._

“Well,” he gave a strained laugh, waving off the princess’s concern. “That’s one down.” From the look she gave him, he could tell humor wasn’t an acceptable coping mechanism to almost dying... at least in her presence. He accepted that humor wasn’t exactly a good coping mechanism, but then again, he was the one almost dying a daily basis. Really, he should be in a steady relationship with death from all the close calls over the years, this year especially. He shrugged it off, deciding to deal with the impeding mental breakdown later, as they moved through the catacombs.

The rest of the walk was silent, other than their echoing footsteps, the occasional drip, the chatter of their animal friends, and Rapunzel’s murmurs to herself as she studied the book intensely. Varian couldn’t stop the involuntary shiver that crawled up his spine and the short coughing into the crook of his arm. He couldn’t help but ask himself _was this really worth it?_

His eyes wandered to the princess’s form. Her brows were furrowed, her nosed pinched, and her whole body was tensed as she led them through the winding tunnels. _Is this worth it?_ The question bounced in his head again. Maybe they could turn back, he could confess what he did, and then leave forever.

But he couldn’t.

He was too far in. To turn back now was suicide. Rap— _the princess_ may be forgiving but her friends and family sure wasn’t. He didn’t trust the king not to order his execution the moment he stepped foot in the throne room. Even if the princess is _so forgiving…_

His normal stare morphed into a glare at her back before he forced himself to look away with fists clenched. He did not trust her any longer. The fact that she appeared to know about the rumors, but did _nothing_ to dissuade them cracked the foundation of their friendship… If you could call it that.

These long hours with her shattered the remaining illusions he didn’t realize he still clung to. He desperately wished and wished _and wished—_

But here he was, venturing into the cold, dark tunnels of Herz de Sonne with the princess, about to commit various crimes including treason against the crown. Yet, Varian couldn’t bring himself to care. _What’s the point?_ Either way, he still loses. Father or no, Varian is alone.

Cassandra didn’t care. Eugene didn’t care. The villagers didn’t care. The capital didn’t care. The king didn’t care. Rapunzel didn’t care. _His dad didn’t care._

Rudiger, perched on Varian’s shoulders, gently stroked his cheek and wiped away a few stray tears, reminding him that he was still there. Varian huffed before letting a small smile slip out _. Perhaps not completely alone._

It didn’t take but a few more minutes before reaching a room. At first glance, it was a marvel. The intricacies of the chiseled stone walls were enchanting to look at, as was the graceful arches above the entryways. However, after that stunning first impression, Varian could feel something was off. It was odd for a chamber like this to be filled with nothing, despite obviously being made for something.

Not two seconds later, two heavy metal doors slammed shut on the entrances, sealing them inside. Varian bit his lip to keep from swearing. While he’s not the princess’s number one fan right now, he still knows better than to swear in front of _royalty._

The heavy groaning of machinery was his only warning before the walls began to close them in.

* * *

Nausea still rolled in his stomach like the stormy seas. His mind was numb as he automatically followed the princess lead. Varian prided himself as an alchemist/inventor and by extension, a good engineer. Yet, he panicked, frantically pushing against the walls like it would stop its momentum. The fact that he was upstaged by a _chameleon_ made it worse.

He should be grateful that he’s still alive, but all he feels his hurt, guilt, and betrayal. He got them into his mess. They almost died because he acted like a moron. Of course, there’s an axel! If he had just _looked._

Coronan stupidity was starting to infect him. Dear sun, it was contagious. He could only hope he wasn’t degraded to a bumbling fool before he reached the end of his mission.

_A mission involving betraying the person that saved his life twice now._

Was it? She would’ve been squished too if she hadn’t done anything _. It wasn’t kindness, it was self-preservation._ He kept telling himself. _She’ll toss you like a dirty dish rag once you’ve served her purpose._

He ignored the concerned looks she kept sending his way. It was just an illusion. Not even Rudiger’s soft coos could convince him otherwise.

* * *

“Tripwire,” he warned the princess as he stepped over it. Pointing out the rest of the boobytraps was surprisingly therapeutic. Of course, that didn’t stop the thoughts of intentionally setting them off to end his suffering from whispering in his ear, but he didn’t let it dissuade him.

“Pascal no!”

Varian jumped in surprise before turning to see Pascal’s tongue on the tripwire. _What the—_

“Pascal, I need you to _carefully_ let go of the spider.” The princess warned, the fear in the atmosphere thick as butter. Varian watched, stiff as a board, as Pascal slowly crawled toward the wire before releasing the spider with any repercussions. Varian and the princess let out a collective sigh in relief.

**_SNAP!_ **

He would be having _words_ with Rudiger later.

The roof came raining down as the princess gathered up the animals and rolled out of the way. Varian could only watch in mute horror as the rest of the trap came down, briefly worried that the princess and their friends were buried underneath the rubble. The princess, Pascal, and Rudiger appeared unharmed on the other side moments later, but Varian’s hands were starting to get twitchy over these _stupid traps._

“Everyone ok?”

_Besides the fact he’s about to have a mental breakdown and his heart is trying to beat itself out of his chest? Perfectly Peachy._

The princess placed Rudiger down and climb over the rubble. “We’re getting closer to the surface. We don’t want to alert the guards.”

After all their near-death experiences, Varian was exhausted, not that he’d let it show. But an exhausted Varian has no filter and is slightly delirious on all the extra adrenaline running through his veins. Because of this, he couldn’t help but chuckle on his high.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure they and everyone else have their hands full.”

The princess frowned. “What do you mean?”

Ah, crap. He’s going to regret that. _Quick, Varian! Improvise!_

“N-Nothing! Nothing. Uh, it’s just, um, they have their hands full every day!” He chuckled weakly, leaning against the wall. “Corona, you know? Busiest kingdom on earth!”

That was horrendous. Varian mentally kicked himself while hoping the princess was too preoccupied to notice his slip and terrible excuse. His wish was unfortunately granted as the wall moved away from him, the floor giving away from beneath him.

The princess shouted his name in horror as he fell. _This time,_ he thought. _This time I’m going to die._ To his surprise and relief, his staff was longer than the diameter of the whole and stopped his fall, but he was still left dangling.

“Varian!” the princess shouted again. “Oh, by the stars, _Varian just hang on!”_

_“Way ahead of you!”_

* * *

“You’re sure this flower is worth it right? Corona’s only hope?”

_I have been asking myself the same stupid question since the stupid cookies._

“It should be,” he replied, too tired to care. “but, uh, I’m not too concerned about Corona.” _It hurts less if you distance yourself._

The princess gasped and turned to look at Varian in shock. “You don’t care about Corona?” Varian restrained himself from flinching as she crossed her arms. _How did she jump to that conclusion so quickly?_

“Uh, I mean, _of course_ I care about Corona. I love Corona!” Varian tried to reassure her. _When they’re not being a bunch of sheep that’ll tie and burn anybody to a stake because of hearsay._ “I just meant, _right now…_ I’m really concerned about how it’s going to help my dad,” He chuckled nervously.

Varian shivered and resisted the urge to cough as Pascal seem to search inside his soul. Warily, he took a step back. “Corona too.” He added as an afterthought. He turned away and moved ahead, the sticky feeling in his chest making itself known as it grew harder to breathe.

He finally allowed himself to cough, hoping that the sticky sensation would disappear. They were harsh and short, but it helped. Varian panted slightly, leaning against the wall to catch a breath.

His mind grew numb, His eyes drooping in exhaustion. His limbs grew heavy and moved as if he was underwater. He could barely register Rudiger at his heels, brushing up against his legs in concern. The cold from the tunnels seeped into his body and the wetness in the air filled his lungs. Flashes of dying birds, inky blackness, and dark hair raced across his mind.

“—ay?”

Varian blinked. He was kneeling on the ground, hands hanging limp at his side. The princess had her hand against his forehead. “…What?” he asked. His voice almost refused to leave his throat, making only a whisper instead.

Rapunzel— _When did she become Rapunzel again? —_ frowned and narrowed her eyes in concern. “I asked if you were okay, but clearly you aren’t.” Pascal nodded in agreement and jumped on his shoulder. Varian froze as the little reptile pressed a claw to his cheek.

Pascal jumped back as if burned and turned bright red, cradling the claw. Varian rolled his eyes. “Please,” he said. “I’m not that bad.” He handed the chameleon back to Rapunzel. Pascal jumped back on to her shoulder, curling up and turning back to green.

Rudiger glared at him and shook his head as the princess helped him get back on his feet. Varian’s heart stung a little at that. He knew Rudiger just wanted him to be okay, but seeing him look at him like that hurt.

Rapunzel placed her hand on Varian’s shoulder. “If you need to rest longer—”

Varian shrugged her off and gave a half-hearted glare. “I’m fine, Rapunzel. Just let it go.” He started to walk down the rest of the tunnel but Rapunzel grabbed his wrist.

“Varian, you have a _fever._ Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

Varian gaped at the audacity. He jerked his hand out of her grip. “Why should I?! Why would you care?!” Rudiger climbed back on Varian’s shoulder in support. “You have more important things to worry about then me!”

_“Because you’re my friend!”_

Varian stopped. “…friend?” the word was so soft, Rapunzel probably had to strain to hear it.

Rapunzel relaxed her posture, which had grown tense during the blowup. “Yes, Varian, friend. You’re my friend. _We are friends.”_

He could only stare blankly at her. He didn’t know how long they were standing there, in that damp, cold tunnel, but he had enough. “…we should keep moving.”

“Varian.”

_“Please,_ lets just go _.”_ Varian was tired. He was tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. He wanted all this to be over.

_“You’re sure this flower is worth it?”_

No.

No, he’s not.

But it had to be.

* * *

Breathing grew harder as they went along. It was hard to ignore the worried glances Rapunzel and Pascal threw his way, and Rudiger perched on his shoulders and nuzzled him every other minute, but other than that, no hardships so far. _The calm before the storm._ “Oh, it’s another dead end,” he muttered in disappointment as they entered another room. _A disappointment like he was to his father._

Ha ha.

“No,” Rapunzel denied. “This is it. We are right under the vault. Do you see that trapped door?”

To be fair, Varian saw a lot of things. Like the pillars holding this place up, the fancy trapdoor, the insane amounts of Corona suns drawn everywhere…

_This kingdom has no idea what subtlety is, do they? Also, how on earth were they supposed to get up there? And most importantly—_

“How are we going to get it open?”

He watched as Rapunzel’s focus flickered to the seven pillars in the middle and the seven pillars around them. He stood in awe as she turned — _It was a secret mechanism?!_ the centerpiece. He felt like crying at this mechanical masterpiece of a trapdoor when it opened. It was beyond anything he could dream of!

He grinned at Rapunzel and she grinned back. Their victory was short lived as heavy stomping shook the ground beneath them. _Dear Moon let the floor not give out again._ He froze in shock as he turned to see _an automaton walking towards them._ An automaton! He’s only read about those in stories! If it wasn’t for the circumstances and the amount of times he’s almost died, this would be the _best day EVER!_

“Uh, Varian?” Rapunzel called out worriedly, but Varian was too excited to notice.

“Fascinating,” he breathed, his eyes wide and starry. “I believe this is an automaton! A-A _marvel_ of ancient technology, really!” He rambled on, too starstruck to notice Rapunzel’s horrified face. “I’ve heard of them, but to _see one—”_

_“Varian, look out!”_

Rapunzel grabbed and dragged him out of the way of the automaton’s fist. The floor beneath it cracked as the fist made contact. The princess was appropriately terrified but Varian was on a high.

“Don’t worry, princess,” he said, grinning like a loon. _“I’ve got this.”_ He ran towards the automaton and chucked a vial of flynnolium that was tied to his staff at it. He mentally cheered as the explosion knocked the automaton off its feet, knocking it down onto a pillar.

“See?” he panted. “I toldja, I got this.” The sticky feeling he had earlier was nonexistent at this point. He felt like the king of the world!

Rapunzel barely said his name before he was flung into the pillar behind him.

* * *

He might not have the sticky feeling in his chest right now, but it definitely hurt to breathe. He just smiled and climbed up after the princess and so far, she didn’t notice! Which was good. Rudiger definitely noticed though, and kept jerking his head towards the princess.

“No, I’m not telling her,” he whispered harshly to his friend. “because one, we’re already so close and stopping now would jeopardize everything.” Rudiger chittered angrily as Varian wheezed while climbing up the ladder.

“Are you okay?” Rapunzel called down.

“We’re fine!” Rudiger gripped his shoulder a little harder than necessary. “Just peachy!” He yelped in surprise as Rudiger nipped him in the ear.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! We’re fine!”

The princess paused for a moment before continuing to climb up. Varian sighed in relief before glaring at the raccoon. “What was that for?!” he hissed.

Rudiger simply pointed up.

Varian huffed. “Okay, back on track now—” Rudiger rolled his eyes which Varian pointedly ignored. “—two, the princess _used me as bait._ Do you really think I’m going to tell her that after she nearly sacrificed me?”

He shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Rudiger’s stare. “Look, I’ll deal with it once get home, okay?” Rudiger blinked once before nodding in assent. Varian let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

“Thanks, pal.”

He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

“There it is. The _flower.”_

Finally, after hours of searching, the Sundrop was right in front of them! Once he had this flower, he could free his dad, and then be free of this stupid kingdom. Yet, as Rapunzel moved forward to admire the flower, he hesitated.

_It looks…_

**_Withered._ **

Varian blanched and shook away the thought. _Okay, it’s now or never_. He stepped forward, but faltered for a few seconds.

_“…friend?”_

_“Yes, Varian. You’re my friend. **We are friends.”**_

But friends don’t abandon each other, do they?

Steeling himself, he walked over and snatched the flower anyway. _Do it for Dad. Do it for Dad._ Rapunzel stared at him in shock. “Varian,” she gasped, but he ignored her and pocketed the Sundrop in his satchel. _This is the way it has to be,_ he told himself. _This was the only way to save his father. To fix his mistake and prove he was worth something._

Rapunzel grabbed the strap of his satchel, pulling him backwards. “W-Wait, you said that you were only going to take one petal.”

“But what if one petal’s not enough to harvest what I need?” he countered. _Please, I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have. Just let me leave!_

“Varian—”

“What difference does it make?” he yelled, trying to tug the satchel out of her grip, gritting his teeth has his ribs flashed in pain. He stumbled a bit on his words in anger. “It’s just sitting here, rotting anyway!” He jerked hard enough that the satchel released from her grip, but a small bottle fell to the ground.

He turned to walk away to find an exit. He quite obviously overstayed his welcome, but he turned back when Rapunzel gasped. She was staring at the bottle that had the mood potion. “That had Xavier’s mood potion in it.” She said to Varian's shock.

_How did she know what was in there? WHY did she know what was in there?_ He quickly snatched the bottle away. Why would she need to know about mood potions? What did she do with it? Varian’s stomach dropped like a lead weight at the implications.

“Varian, that potion is dangerous,” Rapunzel warned. “You shouldn’t be fooling with it.”

_“Varian, the rocks are dangerous. You need to stay away from them.”_

“There was just one drop left, but it was enough for me to replicate and modify.” He told her in monotone. Personally, now that he was thinking about it, she was kind of a hypocrite really. But she still deserved to know. Maybe it was the last few threads that their friendship hung on, he didn't know, but if she was going to hate, him, if she wanted to _understand,_ she needed to know why and how. “I had to be sure the flower was here.”

_Unlike your precious kingdom, I don’t act just on hearsay and rumors._

Rapunzel looked at him in disbelief and heartbreak. Varian wanted to take it all back, he wanted everything to be like it was before the rocks were a problem. “So, you made a truth serum and gave it to _everyone?”_

He couldn’t help but chuckle at his own expense and at the absurdity of it all. “You’d be surprised what people will tell you for a cookie.”

He winced as the look of horror graced her face. “Pete? Stan? How could you?”

How could he? _How could HE? HIM?_ What about the people calling out for his blood over a rumor, huh? What about them?

“Oh, do you honestly expect for me to be ‘concerned’ about the welfare of Corona?” he snapped. After what they did to him? After what happened to Old Corona? The innocents executed because the king couldn’t bother with commoners? The classism? The blatant disregard of their subjects’ health? Or what about the nauseating worship the people had for the royal family? As if they blessed the ground they walked on despite being mortal men? No, he was not concerned for the welfare of Corona. Yes, they needed serious help, but it wasn’t coming from him.

Rapunzel stepped away from him. “But you said—”

“RAPUNZEL! I _used_ you. _”_ his temper had finally reached its end. “I went to you—” he jabbed his finger towards her. “—and this kingdom for help.” He gestured to everything around him. “ _Everyone_ turned their back on me. It has to be this way.” Why couldn’t she understand that? Why couldn’t she let go?

She turned her back on him, both literally and physically. “I defied a direct order from my father, _the king_ , because I trusted you.”

_“…friend?”_

“We both broke _the law.”_ she ran her fingers through her hair, betrayal bright in her eyes.

_“Yes, Varian. You’re my friend. **We are friends.”**_

Varian looked down in shame. Was he going too far? Didn’t this make him no better than her by doing this? One could call it karma; another might say it was getting even. Either way, this isn’t the person he wants to be.

Rapunzel took a deep breath. “Give me the flower, Varian,” she said with her hand outstretched. Varian’s gaze flew up from the floor in surprise.

“We can find a way to fix all this,” she continued. “The rocks, your father, _everything._ I promise you—”

_I promise everything is going to be okay._

“I promise! Just…this is _not_ the way.” Her breath hitched before she begged. “ _Please.”_

Varian looked away from her. He wants justice, that much is clear, but there must be other options. He’s tired. Tired of being angry, tired of being hungry, tired of being on the run, _and tired of being alone._ He looks at Rapunzel with her hand outstretched and he desperately wants to take it.

Maybe…Maybe she’s trying to make amends. Maybe he should—

A heavy rattling from the vault’s doors echoed inside. Varian’s small glimmer of hope is smothered with the sticky feeling in his chest and something twists inside him in anger. She lied to him. _She lied to him._ It was a trap! How could she? After everything they’ve been through! “I’m sorry, princess,” he spat. “but I know first-hand how you keep _promises.”_

The princess stepped away from him, taken aback, but he’s too hurt, too _angry_ to care. He stuffs his hand in his satchel and grabs a smoke bomb just as the doors slam wide open. Leading the charge is Eugene and Cassandra, both glaring at him as if he killed someone’s puppy. He wants to cry at the fact that not only did they bring the guards, but Cassandra is holding _a sword._

They are not here to negotiate; they are here to get rid of a threat. And _he’s the threat._

“There he is!” Eugene shouts, pointing at him. “Get him!” this only supports the fears he had yesterday, how else would Eugene know it was him specifically if the princess didn’t sell him out? Why would he be trying to kill him instead of trying to talk to him?

Varian refused to die because he trusted the wrong people. He turned to the princess one last time, directing all his rage, his betrayal, his fear, _all of it,_ to her. She looked heartbroken, but she does nothing. _Just like the storm._

There is only one storm now, and that is him. He slams the bomb down on the ground and runs. The thick purple smoke burns his lungs as he makes his escape, but he does not falter. He could hear the princess shout his name, but he does not go back. Tears spring in his eyes— _it’s the smoke,_ he tells himself. _it’s the smoke—_ and it leaves his face sticky. Rudiger is shaking in his satchel, but doesn’t hop out.

He could hear the footsteps thundering behind him, and his mind is clouded with panic. He runs out to a balcony on accident with the guards hot on his trail. He steps back as the guards advance closer. “Varian of Old Corona,” one of the leaders addresses him coldly and with authority. “You are under arrest for two counts of attacks on her Highness, one count of kidnapping of her Highness, two count of breaking and entering, one count of theft, and treason to the crown. Surrender now, and your life may be spared.”

Varian’s back hits the railing as the leader’s speech ends. Varian said nothing but his mind was reeling. _Kidnapping? I didn’t kidnap anyone!_ There was also the “ _may be spared”_ bit in that guy’s spiel. His hands gripped the railing tightly, he had nowhere else to go; it was surrender or die, or most likely, die or die.

It’s a good thing he liked to defy the odds!

He made the point to take two small steps forward, keeping his head down. He heard the jingle of chains as the men moved forward…

Only for Varian to punch him in the face before sprinting to the end of the balcony and _jumping off._ He hears angry shouts as he descends and grips his satchel tightly. At first his stomach plummets as he drops, but he _flies._

He lands in the garden pond right next to the castle.

* * *

Varian slammed the door behind him, panting and dripping from head to toe. Rudiger is beside him, just as wet, but still here. Due to some of his experiments, he coated his satchel in a water-resistant resin, and modified the opening so that nothing could spill out, or in this case, for water to spill in. he checked his bag over and over again, to make sure the flower was really there. It was slightly shriveled, but it was still there; _he had it._

_But at what cost?_

The small grin that started to form on his face quickly turned to a frown. He had the flower, but now he had a death warrant. Not to mention—

_“We are friends.”_

She said that with such sincerity. Did she actually mean it? If the vault thing wasn’t planned, and she didn’t blab, then why didn’t she say anything?

_Why didn’t she say anything when the guards threw you out of the castle during the storm?_

Varian covered his ears and fell to his knees. “No, no no **_no._** She hurt me. She didn’t care about me. _She doesn’t._ ”

He pressed harder against his head, wanting the thoughts to stop. Rudiger watched him from the side, his whole body tense with his fur on end, his tail sticking straight up in the air.

_If that were true than why did she trust you enough to break the law?_

“It was a ruse, she was waiting for an excuse to arrest me,” he tried to reassure himself. “Even if she didn’t, she only cared about me when she needed me. I’m just an asset.”

_People don’t break the law for assests._

Varian choked back a sob. “Friends don’t abandon friends.”

_But didn’t you?_

Varian dug his fingers deep into his hair, tears streaming down his face. “I had to leave. _I had to._ The flower wasn’t being used anyway.”

But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, the answer remained the same. Cassandra and Eugene clearly wanted him dead, and Rapunzel…

He broke. He screamed and he cried and he thrashed as his satchel laid forgotten on the ground. Rudiger dashed under the table, unsure how to help but at the same time too scared to get close.

After minutes, maybe hours, he wasn’t sure. Varian heaved and laid unmoving on the floor, blinking the last of the tears out of his eyes. Even if Rapunzel truly was his friend, there was no way she’d forgive him now. He was alone. No civilian would want to help him after this. They saw him as a _monster._ A dangerous wizard _._ The _insane alchemist._

The bad guy.

Varian sat up and hugged his knees, taking in shuttering breaths. The sticky feeling stuck uncomfortably against his bruised ribs. He felt slimy and gross just thinking about it, but he couldn’t think of a way to dislodge it.

Rudiger crawled to him slowly, testing the waters, but Varian made no moves as Rudiger leaned into his side. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, the last twenty-four hours fresh in their minds. The crackle of torches on the wall, the slight moan of a draft, and the faint pitter-pat of rain striking against the roof and walls, prevented true silence, but it was enough. The lingering smell of dust, chemicals and smoke relaxed the alchemist. The cool stone floor and the body heat from Rudiger grounded him from spiraling in his thoughts.

“Am I a bad person?”

The raccoon tilted his head at the question, as if asking him _‘What do you mean?’_ Varian shifted uncomfortably before deciding to pick Rudiger up and place him on his lap. He tossed his gloves to the side and stroked the raccoon’s wet fur.

“I mean, I know I made some, _really bad_ decisions lately, but does that mean _I’m_ bad?”

Rudiger offered no answers, deciding to curl up in Varian’s lap instead, but Varian didn’t mind, he just kept talking.

“Does motive count if a person is defied by their actions? Does the end justify the means?” Varian gazed longingly at the satchel, and by extension, the flower. “If… if I have to suffer so that a kingdom thrives, is it selfish if I want to leave? And is a kingdom really thriving when the black rocks are destroying everything?”

“I tried warning them, but no one wants to listen. Does that mean I’m bad for giving up?”

He turned back to Rudiger, whose fur had long since dried by now. “Sometimes, I wish I was like you. Raccoons don’t have to worry about morals. You just do what raccoons do.” Rudiger purred affectionately and rubbed against his abdomen. Varian sighed, scratching underneath Rudiger’s chin.

“Then again, why should you worry? You don’t have to deal with crazy kings or stupid secrets and existential crises.”

Varian’s eyes started to droop. It had been a long twenty-four hours. Dad wouldn’t mind if he was well rested so he could properly free him, right? He surrendered to the darkness, feeling more tired and lonely then ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone protect this boi please he deserves so much better.


	14. Preparing Doomsday Survival Kit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian prepares his doomsday kit, joins a party, and begins a plan of attack. All in all its pretty good, despite being on the run, and wanted, and hated by your fellow countrymen. Everything is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, dream at beginning is kind of intense so don't read if you are faint of heart. Summary of dream below. Also Cassandra's Revenge had me scrEAMING

_The smell of dirt and fauna roused Varian from his slumber, but the soft squish of footsteps on the earth woke him completely. He found himself standing in a room in what appeared to be ruins. The floor was grassy and inscription of a familiar language were inscribed on the stone walls. Vines, climbing ivy, and an assortment of flowers grew everywhere._

_Varian was harshly made aware that his body was moving on its own accord, but unlike the other dreams, this time he wasn’t alone. He could hear them beside him, but his body did not turn to look. “…this place…” he was made to say, but it wasn’t his voice that came out of his lips._

_He panicked internally as he realized that this was NOT his body. He couldn’t pin who’s voice it was, but it was feminine and definitely familiar. **“E̶̡̓͒͝ư̸̧̡̭̟̫͔̝͎̙͈̓̌̀̏͑͜g̶̢͚̯̲͓͖͔̣̥̔̎̈́͆͝ĕ̷̦̫͕͎̳͇͛̈́̐̉̾̄̄̉͝n̵̨̡̛̹̬͍͙͋͊ḛ̸̤͈͔̣͖̌** look at—” His faced contorted into what he thought must had been a confused face? Maybe worried? Possibly both? “Wait, where is—”_

_The world shook and flicked in and out. The colors inverted, disappeared, and reappeared in normal colors over and over again. The people that must have been with him—her?— moved so fast it was inhuman. Varian felt like he was trapped in an earthquake and spinning out of control in a river all at once. Garbled noises must have been the figures’ voices filled the air in horrific off-key harmony. He wanted nothing more to slam his hands against his ears to help block out the noise but his body was frozen in time. He couldn’t move, blink, or cringe away despite how much he wanted to._

_Just as fast as it started, it stopped. He stood in front of a small, still pond alone with the figures behind him. In his hands was a roll of parchment in that familiar language again. He wanted to chuck it as far away from him as possible and watch it sink into the abyss, or maybe use it as timber. Instead, his hands raised it in front of him to read._

No, no no no _no stop._

_The words slid out of his mouth as if covered with slime and ink. He could taste the foul odor of black magic as it left his lips. The sticky feeling spread throughout his entire body._

**_“Wither and decay…”_ **

_He could only watch helplessly as the life around him was drained and funneled into himself. The darkness grew rich and seeped out of his pores. The sound of dying gasps from the figures behind him grated his nerves like nails on a chalkboard._

**_“End this destiny…”_ **

_The parchment fell from his hands as he was pulled into a trance, but only just. The edges of his mind grew hazy, but something prevented him from going fully under. One of the figures begged him to stop, but their voices were garbled and the words muffled as if they were screaming underwater._

**_“Break these earthly chains…”_ **

_The flowers grew from wilted to ash and the smell of death lingered in the air. The grass blackened under his feet and crunched with the slightest movement. Varian was disgusted with himself as he mildly enjoyed the sensation of life energy being poured into his veins. He could feel the intoxicating rush of magic at his fingertips, he was practically oozing with it._

**_“And set the spirit free…”_ **

_The thud of the figures hitting the ground one by one seemed to shock his body into becoming his once more. He bit down harshly, trying to prevent more of the poisonous words from spilling out of his mouth. He felt the darkness well up inside him like a spring and had to cover his mouth to keep from vomiting out the guck._

_He crumbled to his knees, desperately trying to keep the darkness at bay. Horrible whispers rang as loud as a drum in the now silent room. Varian’s gaze flickered to the pond before he froze in horror._

_In his place stood the lady in black, grinning maliciously._

Varian woke up screaming.

* * *

He glared at the drawing of the princess with dark circles hanging under his eyes. He could barely leave his own house to get some fresh air, much less be able to smuggle sheets of iron, gears, and fuel. Varian collapsed at his desk, running his fingers through his hair. He only looked at that automaton _once_. Even then, it was trying to kill him; so, he never got a good look at it to break down how it was made.

He needed a defense in Old Corona, otherwise he and Rudiger were sitting ducks. Heck, they were sitting ducks _right now._ They only reason he wasn’t being attack right now was because of all the rocks, his booby-traps, and probably the idea that he was insane and highly dangerous deterred most from even bothering. Varian coughed into the crook of his arm before moving on.

He needed a way to lure the princess here, as negotiation was completely off the table. Varian rubbed his temples to soothe the oncoming headache. _Maybe if he pretended to surrender?_

The scent of cherries, blackberries, and gooseberries derailed Varian’s train of thought. Next to his chair, Rudiger held up a basket of the berries Varian managed to scour from the forest near the border of the town. He had been surprised that they grew despite the life-draining qualities that the rocks seemed to possess…

_Black hair curled around his neck, blocking his airway—_

“NOPE!”

Varian slammed his hands down on the desk. His head twisted towards his furry friend so fast that he was slightly worried about whiplash. “You know what, Rudiger? Those berries smell delicious and I could use a snack break. Do _you_ want a snack break? What am I saying, _of course_ you want a snack break! Not any other breaks, like bone breaks or mental breaks, just a good ol’ ordinary snack break!” He laughed slightly unhinged at the end of his spiel, but ignored it in favor of grabbing the berries and Rudiger, then running upstairs.

He didn’t break a sweat running up a flight of stairs, dodging random rocks while holding a five-pound basket full of berries and a ten-pound raccoon. He whistled to himself once he arrived at his destination. He certainly wasn’t a slouch when it came to manual labor; it came from working in the fields and helping around the farms. However, he would have been slightly winded from running up the stairs a few months ago.

Running for your life does wonders for endurance.

He set the berries and Rudiger on the table. His nose wrinkled at he realized he forgot to wash the berries. “Oh well,” he shrugged. A little dirt didn’t kill anyone. As Varian munched on some of the berries, he noticed Rudiger staring at him. It wasn’t glaring, just… staring.

“What?” he asked defensively. “I’m fine.”

Varian didn’t know it was possible for raccoons to arch a brow.

He sputtered indignantly. “I’m _fine._ Don’t worry about it. It’s just a small hiccup in my master plan, no biggie.” His smile stretched uncomfortably wide. He drummed his fingers on the table, constantly shifting in his seat. “It’s not like I’m the pariah of the kingdom and have to look over my shoulder every time I walk outside. O-Or that everyone that loves me is constantly let down, or hurt, or _disappointed_ because I screw up _every_ little thing I do! It’s _definitely_ not the knowledge that if I left this _stupid_ kingdom, they would set a man hunt for me, or even hire bounty-hunters after my head, or exile me from my _home.”_

He started to laugh, tears streaming down his face. “It’s—” he sniffled a bit and wiped his nose. “—It’s not the fact that no would question _why_ I’m doing this, it’s not that they would rather _stab_ me and be done with it and call me a monster! I… I…”

He broke down and fell to the floor, sobbing hysterically with Rudiger curled beside him.

* * *

He refused to sleep. Sleeping brought the nightmares, the reminders. He didn’t need that now; his dad needed him. Varian stared vacantly at the amber, his father reaching high inside. He tilted his head. What were the words running through his head as he was slowly being encased? Was it words of hate and spite towards him? Perhaps… regret?

He didn’t know, and he may never find out, but there was no denying it. Dad loved him enough that he pushed him out of the way of the amber. Whether or not he still loved him, or was even _worthy_ of such love, was the question. One that Varian didn’t want the answer to.

Varian walked up to the amber and rested his head on it. He stayed there a few moments, numb to the world. _“It should have been me,”_ he whispered. _“It should have been me.”_

He leaned away from the amber. “What would you have done in my place, Dad?”

But the amber gave no answer.

* * *

“OW! _CRAP!”_

Varian cradled his bleeding fingers, needle abandoned on the ground. He had been at this long enough to no longer faint at blood, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make him queasy. He wiped off the blood with a spare piece of cloth. Luckily, it was just a few papercuts, but it stung like he just dipped his fingers in hydrogen peroxide. Not pretty.

Rudiger fell asleep in the small pile of various fabrics he had in his room a few hours ago, just as Varian started on the body. Now, he held the life size plush doll in his lap as he sewed in the buttons for eyes. It was a precaution, just in case the guards came snooping. The “Fakrian” would be sitting by the window with strings tied to alarms that would allow him and Rudiger to escape when broken. So, if someone snatched the dummy...

He shook his head and started on the hair.

* * *

Varian snuck into the Amber Glass Tavern, hood, goggles, and all. He was too tired to forage for food. He just hoped no one would take up the ransom the king no doubt put on his head. He took his usual table in the corner to people watch. He frowned as he realized there was a lot less people then the last few times he visited.

“You got some guts showing up in public, squirt.”

Varian moved before his brain caught up with his body. The stranger—the conspiracy man from before, he realized—held his hands up in surrender, Varian’s dagger against his neck. Varian gasped and stumbled backwards, dropping the dagger. He stared at his hands in horror.

Oh _moon,_ he nearly killed someone! What would Rudiger think? What would his father? _Rapunzel?_

Varian blinked back into reality as someone—was that the barmaid? —whispered soothing words and rubbed circles into his back. As he gasped for breath, he realized his hood had fallen down and his goggles came askew. He wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. _Why couldn’t he pull it together for once?_ “H-How—” he winced at the hoarseness of his throat. He cleared it before continuing. “How long?”

The barmaid—Griselda if he remembered correctly— moved away from him slightly to face him properly. Varian was surprised at the feeling of disappointment as she did so. “Just a minute or two, sweetheart. That was impressive, almost as impressive as conning me the first couple visits into thinking you’re an adult.”

Varian flushed and gazed at the floor. “I never said I was an adult,” he mumbled. She gave a hearty laugh before she glared back at the conspiracy man.

 _“You,”_ she hissed.

The man blanched before timidly pointing to himself. “Me?”

“No, his Majesty. _Yes, you! You useless scrub!_ ” Griselda brought Varian in a close embrace and glared harshly at the man. “The boy’s already gonna be on edge, with the king being a complete—” Varian flinched at the reminder of the king but struggled not to laugh at the choice words Griselda calls the monarch. “—Then _you_ come ‘round and scare him half to death—”

“That wasn’t my intention!”

“Does it look like I give a rat’s droppings about your intentions?”

“It was a compliment!”

“Really, because it sounded like a _threat_ to me.”

“Everything sounds like a threat to you, Griselda.”

“M-Ma-am, ca… can’t _breathe.”_

Griselda released her tight hold on Varian’s body. “Sorry, dear,” she apologized softly before turning to the conspiracy man. _“I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT A PROPER THREAT IS, HORACE YOU DUNG BEETLE!”_

Griselda whipped out a wooden spoon from her apron and advanced on poor Horace like a cat would a mouse. Horace screamed as the older woman chased him around the tavern cave, dodging stalagmites but avoiding going too deep into the cave. Varian watched the exchange like one would a carriage accident, terrible but unable to look away.

“They’re always like this, don’t worry,” another voice from behind him soothed. This time, Varian only turned, but kept his hand on his dagger just in case. The stranger, a man of African descent dressed in a dark cloak, nodded approvingly. “Good boy, never let your guard down, unlike those two.” He gestured to Griselda and Horace, still running around.

Varian smiled as he noticed that the two were enjoying themselves. “So… this is normal then?”

The other man snorted as he sat down with his legs crossed. “Yeah, for them. It’s been worse though, because of the lack of customers becausde of the warning about the rocks. Thanks for that by the way.”

Varian leaned away slightly, unable to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. “You’re welcome?” He relaxed at the man’s nod.

A shrill scream echoed through the cave followed by a loud crash. The two winced at the flurry of profanities from both Griselda and Horace. The African faced Varian with a bright smile on his face. “I’m Jabari, I don’t usually stick around in places like this very long, but…”

_SMACK!_

“The entertainment was worth staying a couple months for.”

Varian and Jabari spoke for about an hour before Griselda and Horace finally calmed down enough to speak civilly to one another. Griselda’s salt and pepper bun had come undone, her hair hanging limply around her face; and some pieces of her dress had torn and muddied from the clay of the cave.

Horace was a little worse for wear, if you count the black eye and the bright red handprint on his left cheek. Other than being a little bruised and dirty, he was fine. “If it isn’t our Jubjub bird singing to our residential wizard.”

Varian flushed indignantly to being called a wizard _again_ , while Jabari laughed. “I don’t know where you get these nicknames from, my friend.” Horace preened until Griselda lightly slapped his shoulder.

“Probably the same loony bin he gets all his half-baked plans from.”

“Oh, Zelda my dearest, you wound me with your poisonous barbs!” He made a big show of clutching his heart and sinking dramatically to the floor. Varian raised his brow at the theatrics, but shrugged it off.

Instead, he looked to Jabari in question. “Jubjub bird?” Jabari merely shrugged.

“First time I’ve heard such a word.”

* * *

Varian enjoyed visiting Griselda, Horace, and Jabari. They were the first people in a long time to treat him like a human being instead of some scary monster. He talked over his plans with them. He refused to hurt anyone, but he wanted for the people to be drawn out.

Griselda thought he should take the bull by the horns and kidnap someone close to Rapunzel to bring her to him. He’s already got a long list of crimes—convicted or not—what’s wrong with adding a few more?

He disagreed but kept it for consideration.

Horace… Horace was…Horace he guessed. Griselda wasn’t kidding when she said a lot of his plans were half-baked. Where would he even get a flamingo? _What even was a flamingo?_

Jabari was more serious and realistic. He agreed with Varian’s original plan of holding out until it was safe to leave and cut his losses. Varian was…hesitant about this. He could see where Jabari was coming from and was extremely tempted to follow through…

But leaving his _Dad?_ Even if he wasn’t the greatest, he was still _Dad._

In the end, he ended up compromising. Yes, he’d go with Griselda’s route, _no Miss Zelda I won’t torture them into insanity._ He’d try to get one of them to see his side of the story. Maybe if they actually saw what the king’s secrets have done to the kingdom, they would understand and _help._

If all was lost then he’ll leave, but not without at least _trying_ to free his father.

* * *

Varian squeezed a drop of his concoction onto a Venus Flytrap that Jabari managed to snatch from a trading ship from the thirteen colonies. The drop hissed when it came in contact with the fascinating plant. He was worried when it wilted initially, but beamed as the gorgeous plant grew four times its size.

He had planned ahead and plotted the plant in a large flower pot, but even that was struggling to contain it. He started to measure the time. After about fifteen minutes, the plant shrank and returned to its natural form.

He laughed and did a little victory dance, picking Rudiger up from his nap spot and swinging him around. “Did you see that, Rudiger? Did you see?” he laughed again and spun around. Poor Rudiger looked discombobulated from spinning around so much.

* * *

Varian eagerly showed his plans to the group. “The plant—while the flytrap is fascinating— I don’t want to risk anyone being eaten.” Jabari shrugged, seeing his point.

“Aw, Varian, you’re no fun. A giant, man-eating plant would be so cool!” Horace whined. Varian briefly wondered if Horace was dropped on his head as a babe, but shook away the thought as it was rude. Griselda had no such filter.

“Aw, poor baby. Are you volunteering to give it lunch?” she asked sweetly, but Varian could see the steely glint in her eyes. He shuddered involuntarily.

Horace’s eyes grew wide and he gasped in delight. “That would be great! I have several ideas on who we could possibly feed to him!”

“What a coincidence, so do I.”

Jabari leaned in and whispered into Varian’s ear. “Poor guy, think we should tell him?”

“And break his little heart?” he whispered back. “No way.”

The two discussed further plans while Horace and Griselda bickered back and forth. “The problem is—” Varian ran his fingers through his hair has Rudiger snoozed in his lap. “—I don’t know how I’m going to get whoever I need to snatch to my house without a fight. I know they won’t come willingly.”

Jabari hummed and drummed his fingers on the table. “Perhaps you could entrap them in that sticky substance you have?” Varian shook his head.

“I would end up sticking to the solution as well, then I’d have an angry royal glued to me. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound very fun to me.”

Horace paused from his verbal spar with Griselda. “Why not put them to sleep?” Silence rang across the table. Horace scratched the back of his head and averted eye contact with everyone. “Sorry, sorry. I thought it was a good—”

“That could work,” Varian mused.

“—well okeydokey then.”

Griselda lightly tapped Horace on the arm. “I knew there was something rattling around in there! You had me worried for a while.”

“Hey!”

* * *

It wasn’t hard to find some wild poppies. Varian grounded the seeds into a fine powder and mixed that with his base. A small cloud of smoke mushroomed from the mixture. Varian waved it away, coughing into the crook of his arms. Rudiger watched him from his spot on the desk, eyes darting from Varian to his concoction anxiously.

Varian’s coughing spells increased to the point where the raccoon had to drag him out of Old Corona’s borders. While he was annoyed about it, Varian couldn’t fault him. It only proved his hypothesis that the rocks literally _DRAINED LIFE FROM AROUND THEM._

But he had a job to do. Besides, he left Old Corona often enough. He should be fine… hopefully. He had trouble sleeping? Anxiety, nightmares and all-nighters screwed with his sleep. Nothing abnormal. Weaker than normal? He’s tired. Why? See reason one. Nothing out of the ordinary.

If Jabari and the rest of the crew noticed, they didn’t mention it. At least, that he’s aware of. His situational awareness is both heightened and horrible. Which is actually pretty contradictory, but it makes sense, right? It totally does. That’s why he only just now noticed Rudiger was tapping on his arm.

“Yeah, buddy? What’s up?”

Rudiger pointed to the door and turned back expectantly. Varian just sighed and scratched the critter’s head. “Maybe later, I can’t exactly leave this to simmer.” He gestured to the sleeping mixture he was gently heating.

Rudiger cocked his head in curiosity before crawling closer. Varian gently lifted the raccoon away from his project and set him on his lap. “To answer your question—I can see it in your eyes Rudiger—if I let it simmer too long, it will strengthen the effects so much that the victim might…” he trailed off before shaking his head. “Let’s just say they’ll take an extended nap.”

He was putting it lightly. He grimaced as he forced himself to watch over the mixture so it wouldn’t simmer too long. The last thing he need was someone to fall into a coma for a hundred years. _Would they even live that long?_ He wondered. That part of Sleeping Beauty never made sense to him. If she slept for a century, why didn’t she starve to death? Or die of thirst? Would she just be a crispy husk? Who’d want to kiss that?

He turned his attention back to the mixture. Once he was satisfied with its potency _—I know you can’t see color Rudiger, but I can_ —he took it off the heat and collapsed at his desk. Rudiger cuddled beside him in concern.

“M’fine. Just…tired. Emotionally and Physically.”

Rudiger cooed in comfort as he nudged Varian to get off the desk. Varian playfully swatted at him to go away, but the pesky raccoon persisted. He put his hands up and laughed in defeat. “Okay, okay. You win. Do you want to go to the tavern?”

Rudiger chittered happily and climbed onto Varian’s shoulders, nuzzling his cheek. Varian laughed. “Okay, that’s enough. Spare me a little dignity.” He sighed in content as he walked to the closet to get his cloak. How he would have survived without Rudiger he’d never know. Hopefully, he wouldn’t find out anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite this thing five times before I just did snippets. I also had to chop this chapter in half if you didn't notice. I didn't want to overload with info all at once. Writing is hard :(  
> Dream: Varian wakes up in a clearing with a pond and heavy flora. He's surrounded by other people and in someone elses body. He is forced to read that creepy incantation before stopping himself just as everything is dying. When he looks into his reflection, he sees that woman in black who is smiling at him. He screams himself awake.


	15. Moonlit Paths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is falling apart and he's alone again. At least, he thinks he's alone? Do dream people count?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA! TWICE IN ONE MONTH! GOOD JOB GINGER! Also, Once Upon a Handmaiden's Tale, what the heck Cassandra?!Also, Varian should not be left alone with a bazooka. (Does it qualify as a bazooka??)

It was quiet. A drip from a small stream of the cave, bats squeaking, and Rudiger’s claws against the hard, stone floor. The crunch of glass underneath his feet and the screech of rusty chains swinging overhead, their lanterns devoid of any light. His breath hitching every now in then as he tried to keep from panicking in the abandoned tavern; a tavern that only days ago was boisterous and full of life and laughter.

Not anymore.

Varian clutched his cloak closer to his body. Despite the heat outside, the cave brought shivers to both animal and human. Rudiger stayed close to his legs, oftentimes bumping against them to avoid glass or to get heat.

He didn’t understand. How could this happen? Everything was fine a week ago, and yet…

Shards of glass bottles and chunks of rocks that used to be tables or chairs were scattered across the cave, the bar looked like it had been attacked with a mace, and not to mention broken lanterns either smashed on the ground or barely holding on to the chains on the ceiling.

Rudiger cooed softly and brushed against his legs again. Varian sighed and ran his fingers through the coon’s fur. “We should check behind the bar,” he whispered. “Just in case…” Dark whispers rang in his ears but he shook them away. He slumped his shoulders and gripped his cloak. “Maybe they’re hiding?”

The words sounded weak to his ears, but Rudiger nodded and bounded away. Varian could feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to prickle as the dark whispers slowly grew louder—

**_CRASH!_ **

Varian’s head whipped towards the bar. Rudiger had accidentally knocked over a shelf, destroying the bottles left on it. Varian gasped, running over to his friend. “Oh god, _Rudiger!_ You need to be more careful!” he stressed as he gently lifted the critter onto the remains of the bar.

Carefully, he brushed Rudiger’s fur with his hands, picking out any shards of glass that might have crashed onto him. Luckily for both of them, it was only a few minor scratches and only one cut with a glass shard. Varian nearly tore his cloak from ripping it off him as quickly as he did. He wrapped Rudiger in his cloak before cradling him in his arms. “Shh, _shh_. It’s ok, buddy. As soon as we get home, I’ll fix you up in a jiffy,” he tried to soothe in a hushed voice.

Though he wasn’t acting aggressive or trying to run away, he could feel Rudiger shaking in the cloak. Varian continued to whisper sweet nothings until Rudiger was calm enough for him to move him. Holding him gently, but firmly, Varian went to walk away from the bar when a piece of paper caught his eye.

Deciding it could be useful, but resolving to look at it later, he pocketed it and left for home.

* * *

With his wounds cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged, Varian placed Rudiger in a wicker basket filled with fluffy blankets and pillows he made himself for the raccoon _ages_ ago. Rudiger never really slept in it—preferring to nap next to him either in his room or his lab—but now? Varian watched as Rudiger dozed and snuggled into the covers. It was absolutely adorable.

He couldn’t resist from sketching him. Rudiger, though lazy at times, refused to have his picture taken. As soon as he saw Varian with the drawing pad, he scurried away to nap somewhere else.

Let it never be said Varian squandered an opportunity. Even when those opportunities lead to… less than favorable outcomes. His gaze flickered to the drawing of Rapunzel he still had on his desk.

He flinched and shifted his eyes to the folded paper he found at the tavern, lying innocently next to _her_ picture. Dread pooled in his stomach the longer he looked at it. Varian had an idea of what it was, but he didn’t like it.

Hesitantly, he set his drawing pad down. He had enough of a rough sketch that he could build on later. Snatching up the paper, he took a deep breath before unfolding it. _Relax Varian, it’s probably nothing. Just scrap paper._

It wasn’t scrap paper.

His hands shook as he read the letter. Varian couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or cry. It got so bad that he had to set it down and try to calm himself before continuing on. Once he finished reading, he dropped the letter and dropped to his knees, burying his face in his hands. _Why? Why was it always him?_

Soft coos and whines came from his left. Varian lifted his face away from his hands to see Rudiger limping towards him. Alarmed, Varian scrambled towards the injured coon and placed him in his lap.

“Easy, _easy,”_ he whispered. “Take it easy, Ruddy.” Rudiger leaned into his touch and purred affectionately. Varian’s lips quirked into a smile before falling again.

“I… You need to rest. You’re really hurt, Rudiger. While I appreciate the thought, I don’t want you aggravating your wounds.”

Rudiger decided to ignore that part of the conversation and made himself comfy in Varian’s lap. He sighed, but gently stroked the raccoon’s back. “You’re sure there isn’t _any_ cats in your ancestry?” he muttered under his breath.

Rudiger didn’t dignify that with a response. Instead, he decided to sneeze on Varian’s arm before falling back asleep. Varian made a face as the sneeze made contact, but shook it off.

His mind wandered to the letter. Should he? Could he get hel—no. _Get out?_

It seemed too good to be true.

But…

He glanced to the amber; his father still frozen in time. He felt sick just looking at it. The thought of abandoning him when **_he_** was the one who got him in this mess felt wrong on so many levels. But did he really have a choice? It could be a corpse suspended in the amber for all he knew!

_But he deserves a proper burial at least._

He coughed into the crook of his arm.

* * *

_He was back in the snowy wasteland, but this time, he was safely behind a barrier. The bird had broken free of its bondage, taking to the sky and striking **It** with its powerful beak **.**_

**_It_** _launched out black tentacles, trying grasp the bird and bring it to an end. Every time **It** managed to grab the bird, the bird would snap it in half with its beak, freeing itself before going in for another strike._

_But Varian could tell the bird was tiring. A small rain of feathers from the battle drifted in the wind. The battle seemed unending, the two almost equal in power, but it was only a matter of time before the bird fell. He didn’t want to know what would happen if it did._

_A sudden tug on his leg and Varian fell through the floor. Wind whistled in his ears as he descended. White faded to black as he fell deeper into the void._

_Despite this, He felt no fear. Instead he felt…warm? Safe? Whatever he felt, it wasn’t fear._

_The wind stopped, but Varian continued floating in the void. The sudden feeling of safety vaporized as quick as it came. He screamed but no one answered. His voice stolen by the inky blackness. He was alone in silence with only his thoughts for company._

_Everywhere he looked was dark, dark, dark, and **darker.** He could see everything and nothing all at once because there was nothing to see. Nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch, smell, or taste. He just existed, floating alone in darkness._

_The darkness started to crawl onto his skin, staining black or making it disappear, he didn’t know, but it burned. He gasped as white-hot pain flashed where the void swallowed him. As the darkness grew, so did the pain. “Please,” he whispered without sound. “Please someone? Anyone?”_

_He whimpered as the void reached his neck. Was this **It?** Was **It** taking over his body like it had implied over a month ago? He shut his eyes despite it only bringing more darkness._

_The feeling of cold water being dumped on his head shocked his eyes wide open. A bright blue-white light shone brightly in the dark void, the darkness fleeing from Varian’s person as he was bathed with this light. He took in a deep breath of air he didn’t know he was being deprived of and sunk to his knees. Varian watched in amazement as white and blue swirled into being, replacing the void with a gentle light._

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?”_

_Varian spun towards the owner of the voice._

_She towered over him, almost as tall—maybe even taller? — as his dad, her dark tresses cascading to her lower back contrasting heavily with her pale skin and blue eyes. A dark green cloak clasped onto her neck spread out like wings from behind her. Her deep purple dress glittered as if the stars had been sewn into it._

_Her focus was on a bubbling cauldron, which she stirred idly. At her feet, laid a white sow, and on her shoulder—_

_“The raven!” he shouted in surprise. He stood up with his legs shaking. He had trouble maintaining his balance, but regained it quickly enough. Varian decided to blame it on being suspended in air for so long._

_“Crow, dearest. See the fan? Ravens have a more triangular tail.”_

_The bird nuzzled her before flying over to him and perching on his shoulder. Varian watched her stir the cauldron before adding…was that valerian root? It was, if the pungent smell was to be trusted._

_He wrinkled his nose. “What are you making?”_

_The woman—Varian didn’t feel like that was quite right—smiled as she started stirring counter-clockwise from her previous clockwise. “Something to give you a restful night sleep for once.” Varian wanted to ask more questions like, **who are you? Why are we here? And**_ **_Why do you know my sleeping habits?_**

_Instead, the woman raised her hand, pausing his burning questions. “Your questions will be answered soon blessed one. But for now…” With a wave of her hand, they were no longer in the vast brightness that used to be the void._

* * *

Varian sucked in a breath at the sight of Old Corona’s wheat fields, ready for harvest. The moon was waning, shrouding most of the stars in its light. It was as if the rocks had never destroyed the fields. He climbed onto the log fence that surrounded the fields and sat there, listening to the cicadas and the wind whistling through the wheat.

“I thought you would be more comfortable here.”

With a blink, the woman had returned with her cauldron, it being placed on an alter that Varian was quite sure didn’t exist before. The white sow sniffed at the ground near her feet as the crow circled overhead. “I apologize for the crow; I don’t use him often. He’s always excited to fly out when I ask.”

The crow descended and landed on the fence post next to Varian, letting out an ear-splitting CAW! and fluffed his feathers. Varian winced and rubbed his ear, glaring at the bird. The crow sneezed and look unapologetic.

Stupid bird.

“Who are you anyway?” Varian asked curiously. The woman seemed to not hear him—or purposely ignored him—humming a familiar tune as she stirred the cauldron. The words slipped through his fingers the harder he tried to focus on them. Instead, he hummed with her, gaining more confidence in the tune, but the words still eluding him.

The woman grinned and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, deciding to leave the words a mystery to him as she continued to hum.

They hummed together until the song ended. The crow chimmed in with his own song at the end. It was a horrible screechy sound, but it was the thought that counted.

Varian playfully swatted at the bird as the woman turned her attention back to the cauldron after the minute reprieve. “Your mother has good taste,” was all the she said before adding in more valerian root to the cauldron.

They sat —or in the woman’s case, worked— in silence for a while, listening to the ambience around them. Varian bit his lip nervously. “…you never told me your name.”

The woman laughed. The white sow and the crow did their own versions of laughter as well. “Names have power, blessed one. You should know this.”

Varian’s cheeks flushed. He felt like he was missing something important. Instead, he focused on something else. “…blessed one?”

The woman turned from her work for a moment to stare him in the eyes. She lifted her hand and beckoned him forward. “Come, there is much to explain,” she bid him before turning back to her work.

Hesitantly, he walked up to the alter. As he stepped closer to her, he shivered involuntarily. The aura that she gave was one of strength, power, and… something more. He struggled to push his nerves to the side as he stood next to her. There was something…off.

The woman stopped stirring and pulled out a ladle and jar. “Take a 1-2 tablespoons of this every night for two weeks. That should put an end to the visions.” She scooped the mixture into the jar and corked it. She handed it to Varian with care, “It would be a waste of a good jar if it were dropped.”

Varian nodded in confusion, but took the jar none the less. “I don’t understand, if this is a dream, won’t the jar cease to exist once I wake up?” The woman smiled and shook her head.

“Tell me, blessed one, do you know who I am?”

Varian’s brow furrowed. “I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I don’t a few minutes ago.”

The woman turned back to the cauldron, scooping more of the mixture into another jar. Varian mentally questioned where the new jar came from, but shrugged it off as the weirdness of dream reality.

“I am known by many names, blessed one—”

“I still don’t understand the ‘blessed one’ thing either.”

“—Great Mother, White Lady of Inspiration and Death, and Dark Moon Goddess are a few,” she continued as if Varian never spoke at all. “I am the ruler of death and magic, keeper of the cauldron of knowledge, and the mother of change and transformation. These are only some of my titles, but I think they are enough. So, blessed one,” she grinned at the pout he gave at the name. “Do you know who I am?”

Varian bit his lip as he mulled the information over. She confirmed his suspicions about her not being mortal, and the amount of titles she has—and those were only a few! —helped narrow it down. He just needed a little more help; he had a few ideas.

“Irish?” he tried. The goddess shook her head.

“Welsh, actually.”

Varian hummed in concentration. He considered himself well-read. While he enjoyed the Flynn Rider Series and alchemy tomes, he also had an interest in legends and mythology. His favorites were Greek and Norse, but he also enjoyed Celtic and the legends surrounding his home.

A candle lit in Varian’s mind. Keeping in mind her warning of the power of names, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, _“Cerridwen?”_

The goddess nodded in approval. “Well done. I’m impressed.”

Varian couldn’t help but sputter a bit. “I can’t believe you’re real.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them, but the goddess only laughed at him.

“Worry not, your naivety is adorable. However, there was a reason for the guessing game.”

She gestured to the cauldron. _The cauldron of knowledge,_ he realized. “A part of the knowledge from this cauldron is what is yet to come,” she explained as she waved her hand over it. The sleeping mixture disappeared and was replaced with a silvery liquid.

“There are many paths that time can take.” She stirred the liquid with her finger and a series of images flashed before revealing the moon. “However, some paths are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot change the outcome.”

She flicked the water and an image of a baby with long blonde hair came into view. Varian’s heart clenched at the sight of a young Rapunzel being stolen into the night. The goddess’s face was carefully neutral, but he could tell that she wasn’t comfortable at the sight either. “This event is fixed. It would have happened even if we tried to prevent it.”

She swirled her finger and the image of a child Rapunzel being snatched from the castle library at night by a cloaked figure reflected on the surface of the liquid. “The event that you lived, was the one with the least amount of damage done. Had it been done any other way; the consequences would have been much worse.” The image of a demon clutching Rapunzel by the hair swam into view before being splashed away by the goddess’s hand.

Varian gripped the edge of the cauldron, his face pale and his body trembling. “What does that have to do with me?” He’s not anyone special. All he’s done is screwed things up. Why him?

Cerridwen narrowed her eyes, still focused on the cauldron. “Despite what you think, Varian the alchemist,” she reprimanded in a firm voice. “You are a major player in the winding paths of time. Do not think so lowly of yourself. You have a great many things to be proud of.”

Varian flinched at the unexpected reprimand, but stood his ground. “No offense to you, but what do I have to be proud of?” his voice wavered. “I committed treason, used my friends, destroyed my village, possibly _murdered_ my father—” his voice caught in his throat, his tongue dry as sand.

He shook his head. “I might have doomed my entire kingdom to destruction because my pride. If I had just _listened_ to him then none of this would have happened!” He knew yelling at a goddess wasn’t the best idea, but he was angry. He was tired.

Instead of smiting him like Varian half-expected, Cerridwen nodded in assent. “That is true.”

He reeled back as if slapped. He suddenly found it very hard to stand, his shaky legs falling under him. “…what?”

Cerridwen huffed impatiently as she gazed into the cauldron, her hand brushing against the white sow’s head. “I thought you had at least a few more braincells than your mortal kin. I believe you know what I said, and you are correct.”

Varian hung his head but the goddess lifted it back up to face her. “Do not let your failures taint your successes. The reason why we fail is so we can succeed, but to do that, you need to _learn_ from your mistakes and _move on._ ”

He tried to speak but Cerridwen placed her finger on his lips, “Hush child, time waits for no one, even the divine. We have much work to do.” She offered her hand for him to take.

He didn’t hesitate to take her hand.

She pulled him up with grace and gently led him to the cauldron. “You have a brilliant mind and have much potential in realms of both science and magic.” Varian’s eyes widened in surprise, but the goddess continued as if it wasn’t against everything he knew about himself.

“That is only part of the reason I bothered to keep an eye on you.”

“What’s the oth—”

She raised a hand. “In time, blessed one.” She gazed back to the cauldron, dipping her finger in the silvery substance before flicking it towards the sky. Varian watched in amazement as the substance followed her finger in slow motion, slowly growing and unfurling like leaves of a fresh spring flower.

The silvery substance took on a blueish sheen, as if the moon itself had been melted down. An unnatural calm washed over Varian as he stared at structure Cerridwen created. The structure continued to grow and stretch out until it resembled a weeping willow.

It stole his breath away with its beauty.

The goddess stepped back and grabbed one of the hanging branches, brushing her hand over the leaves. “Another fixed event is coming, if resisted, then the fallout could be catastrophic.” She let Varian run his fingers over the leaves, trying to make sense of the knowledge that’s just been dumped on him.

“…Rapunzel needs to leave, doesn’t she?”

His voice came out flat, monotone. Varian chuckled weakly to himself. “Of course, she needs to leave, just when we get her ba—no. When we get _used_ to her being back, she needs to leave.”

The goddess nodded solemnly. “Unfortunately, destiny has much in store for the Sundrop—”

 _“Wielder_ of the Sundrop.”

Cerridwen raised her brows at the interruption. “I beg your pardon?” She didn’t ask this unkindly; she was curious, like him. However, night was fading, and they needed to move on.

“I’m sorry, its just—” he bit his lip and gazed to the stars, trying to find the right words. “—when people call her that, they tend to treat her more as an object than a person. Wielder or Embodiment of the Sundrop is better, at least to me anyways, but it’s still acknowledging she’s a person, and not…”

He trails off, not bothering to finish his thought. Hadn’t he used her too? Didn’t he treat her like an object in his mind?

_You had regrets._

He didn’t act on them.

_But when_ _the goddess acknowledges his request, he feels marginally better about himself._

* * *

Nighttime doesn’t last forever, meaning he would wake up eventually. They talked battle plans, what he should avoid at all cost, and contingencies.

But Varian forgot to ask her about the blessed one title.

He forgot to ask about the other reason she watched him.

He forgot to ask about **_it._**

He forgot to ask her about his mother.

But Varian did not forget the letter, nor its warning. Once he woke up in the morning, he reread it, nodded once, and walked to the capital, sticking to the shadows.

* * *

**Dear Varian,**

**If you’re reading this, then karma has probably caught up with us. Maybe it’s the king, maybe it’s the Baron** _(He’s a powerful mob boss sweetheart, not a big fan of ours)_ **either way, we must be gone by the time you get this letter. We’re sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye** (Or bring you along! I wanted to bring you with us…)

_(Varian has enough on his plate, moron. Don’t take it personally sweetie! You deserve so much better)_

(Are you saying we’re not good enough for him???)

**I thought it was obvious. Varian, you have much potential, and I would be honored to teach you all I’ve learned on my travels should our paths cross again.**

(I hope they do! I already miss ya and your pe(s)t, little buddy)

**_However,_ ** **we are not good people. We have all done some terrible things**

_(I stabbed someone with a spoon once. Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough, don’t forget that :3)_

(What the ~~hell~~ heck is that)

_(It’s a cat)_

(It doesn’t look like a cat)

**Please stop wasting paper.**

_(Sorry)_

**Anyway, if we haven’t been caught, then we’re most likely on our way to Arendelle.**

~~ (I heard the princesses were hot and the tourists are super gullible) ~~

_(Ignore that please_ _😊_ _)_

(????)

**Don’t you start.**

(K)

_(You heathen)_

**If we _do_ make it to Arendelle, we’re probably going to stick around for a while, so feel free to visit. If we do not cross paths again… My life has been touched by you. If you decide to follow through on Plan A, or plan on retreating, we support you no matter what, but Varian, please, _please_ do not make our mistakes.**

_(You’re such a sweet boy, you deserve so much better than what life has given you. I want nothing to reach over and give you a hug right now. Jabari is right, don’t make our mistakes, we support you no matter what, but you have a chance at being a good person, don’t go down the other road. Otherwise it’s a lot harder to find the right path again)_

(Such a sap, Zelda)

_(Shut it)_

(My turn! Kiddo, you really turned us around, made us see the error of our ways)

_(Mostly)_

(Mostly, I mean, we _are_ thieves. Our moral compasses are kind of screwy already, now they’re… not right, but getting there. You’ve inspired us little guy. And for the record, I still think you should feed the king to the killer plant)

_(Don’t give him ideas)_

**Since we can’t be there ourselves, I have a recommendation. Should you decide to vacate the kingdom, I suggest seeing Xavier the blacksmith. He is my something-cousin on my mother’s side, I call him Uncle Xavier, despite our distant relation. I trust him completely, and with his knowledge of history, it would not surprise me if he knew a way out. Xavier is a good man, and if you show remorse**

(Face it squirt, you’re _oozing_ with guilt. I can smell it)

_(You can smell guilt, but not your own body odor?)_

(I smell fantastic, thank you!)

**And show him this letter, then I have no doubt he will help you. There is nothing more I wish right now is to take you away from that terrible kingdom.**

_****(Seriously, who tries to lynch a fourteen year old over a couple a rumors??? Have these people lost their mind?)_

(Sheeple can’t lose what they don’t have Zelda)

_(Fair)_

**Stay safe, Varian. Stick to the shadows, remain unseen until you wish to be seen. There is a darkness on the horizon and I fear you will be caught up in it.**

**Thinking of you always** (And hoping you kick the king where it hurts!) **,**

**Jabari,** _Griselda,_ and Horace

____________________________________________  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: lol I forgot the chapter title who even does that


	16. A Mother's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arianna reflects on her daughter while two goddess speak of mistakes of long past, waiting to be righted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that feeling of sudden inspiration that has you writing for hours and before you know it, you've spent like three hours writing? Here's the result! While I am sad to series go, I enjoyed the content and can't wait to play it over and over again. My hope is that the fandom sticks around for a while. I've been a part of it since the beginning, but it was only until fairly recently I felt comfortable enough to show my work and appreciation with everyone. Plus, we have so many off-screen stuff we can theorize and write about! Quirin and Varian's relationship, his mom, EUGENE'S MOM, Zhan Tiri and Demanitis's FULL backstory, SO MANY THINGS TO WRITE! Thank you for sharing your support, its really kept my motivation for this project alive, I have so many other things I want to write about, but I wanted to finish this thing first. So, here's to Tangled The Series!

Queen Arianna sighed in content at the slight tang of mixed berry lemonade on her tongue and the warmth from the sunspots shining through the rowan tree. She leaned against its trunk with her legs crossed and an opened book in her lap, relishing the feeling of grass on her bare feet. Pieces of hair fell out of the bun she had done this morning, but Arianna allowed herself to focus on other things than her appearance today.

Today was a rare one, it wasn’t often she had a day with so few responsibilities. Oh sure, she and Fred had to meet with a dignitary visiting from Italy that morning, and they needed to—and note, _try—_ to arrange a meeting with King Trevor for some reason or another tonight. Arianna, while normally attentive to these kinds of things, let her mind wander as her husband ranted about the man _._ Somehow, Trevor managed a new way to “poke the bear with a stick,” as she heard one of the ladies in waiting say.

Arianna shook her head, trying to push any thoughts about the aggravating man out of her mind. Today, she was allowing herself to relax, hence the casual attire. While she loved her iris colored dress, she didn’t want to get it unnecessarily dirty. So instead, she chose a white blouse underneath a light blue dress with thick straps. Arianna had surprised herself with the color; she hadn’t worn that shade of blue since adventuring with Willow.

She smiled to herself. Willow had taken to sending letters whenever she found somewhere new, sometimes sending packages. So far, only one of the four she’s received had anything… chaotic in it, but it was wonderful hearing from her sister so often. She didn’t like to admit it, especially to Fred, but her birthdays without Willow to distract her were often times…dimmer, as if she was missing something.

 _Or someone,_ Arianna thought ruefully as she turned her attention to Rapunzel’s balcony. She had a perfect view from the flower garden. Her daughter had set up an easel, focusing on what Arianna assumed to be the landscape, perhaps bringing to life the very garden she was reading in? Whatever Rapunzel was painting, Arianna was glad she was doing it at all.

Arianna loved her daughter with all her heart and more. She loved her vibrant personality, her fierce determination, her optimistic outlook on life, the way she smiles when she meets/sees/does something _new._ A curious and adventurous nature waiting and wanting to explore the world before her.

 _A world she’s been **denied,**_ she thought bitterly. Not for the first time, ~~what was this? The millionth? Possibly more?~~ Arianna cursed the woman that Rapunzel had called mother for eighteen years for depriving Rapunzel of the world, for stealing _her newborn baby before she was even **named**_ from her.

**_Snap._ **

Arianna snapped shut her book before laying it beside her. She and Fred had a good married relationship. She’s met kings who’ve had multiple wives or mistresses. But she was Fred’s and he was hers alone. They work well together, that isn’t to say they haven’t had their fights, of course not, but she loved her husband through sickness and through health.

The feeling of dirt digging under her fingernails meant she was gripping the grass too hard, but she didn’t focus on that. One of the few major fights she’s ever had with Fred was the—in her opinion at least— _idiotic_ decision to use martial law to force their daughter to stay behind the walls.

Arianna wanted to _take her places._ To feed that wonderful, _wonderful_ curiosity for the world around her! She wanted to show her Arianna’s native kingdom of Arendelle and meet her uncle and cousins. She wanted to take Rapunzel to Casthesea, where their waters seemed to glow the brightest blue imaginable. To meet people and do things from all over and everywhere!

And he forced her to stay _here._

She loved Corona and its people, but Corona is not a large kingdom compared to others. With time, the kingdom can become small. There’s a lot you could do and try to explore here, but eventually, you’ll see everything.

Arianna did _not_ want to see that spark go out in her daughter’s eyes _she will not—_

But above all else, her husband is the king. He loves their daughter so much, that he placed her in a gilded cage in the name of protection. She has all of Corona to explore, but what happens when she explores all there is to be explored?

She fought with him, she fought tooth and nail for him not to follow through, she _refused_ to become the woman that Rapunzel was raised by. She would not smother her daughter, no matter how much she wanted to wrap her in blankets and hide her away so that she’s never taken from her again. Arianna wanted nothing more than to treat her like the little baby she held in her arms for those three fantastic days.

But Rapunzel was no longer that little baby.

Arianna sobbed in her pillow for _hours_ after Rapunzel came home and the celebrations ended. _Eighteen years gone in an instant._ Stolen, hidden under her very nose. Her daughter so close to her reach, yet so far away. _First words unheard, first steps never seen, first handstands, first smile, first laughter, first word read, first song she learned, first friend made…_

Milestones she missed and would never see.

It took Rapunzel a month to call her mom, nearly four to stop calling that wretched Gothel, mother. It took months to make her feel safe, warm, and _loved_ in her home _._ Gothel took her baby and starved her of the love she deserved. How could someone be so selfish and cruel? Wasn’t taking her enough? If Arianna couldn’t raise her baby then _by god, she should be raised in a home practically BURSTING with love!_

~~If Arianna just so happen to learn where Gothel landed from Eugene and went and spat on the wench’s grave, kicking the ground for good measure, she’d never tell.~~

With all that in mind, she pled her case to her husband, but he refused her. He refused to actually _listen._ She loved her husband, but he was stubborn and proud to a fault.

She couldn’t even take their daughter on diplomatic trips!

The worst part is he wouldn’t even tell her _why;_ at least, not the full reason. She snuck out before her coronation. Big whoop compared to the vanishing act three days before his _own_ coronation day as crown prince _._ Arianna knew better than to call Fred a hypocrite to his face, but _seriously?_

Something that sometimes missed his view—and hers as well, she is no saint by any means—was Rapunzel was not raised to be a princess. He and Arianna grew up with the expectations, the regulations, and requirements. It’s a lot to go from a commoner to a servant in the castle, sometimes a lady-in-waiting, but to go from commoner to _princess?_

Rapunzel is a fast learner, but she thrives best when she is with people. To keep her locked up in a castle for endless lessons after eighteen years locked in a tower would have driven her to madness. So, Arianna took it upon herself to make sure her daughter would not get overwhelmed with her new life. Having lessons outside, letting Cassandra or Eugene attend, having a day for themselves to go to the market and talk for hours despite the protocols.

She did so well! Taking it all in stride like a duck to water. She felt confident in Rapunzel’s abilities to handle being temporary queen for a few days with her friends to help.

**_Then came the storm._ **

Her bun was starting to hurt her head. It wouldn’t hurt to let it down and use some of the flowers in the garden to make a flower crown, would it? She took out the hair pins, piling them next to her. Then, with tasteful skill, she untwisted the ponytail and undid the ribbon holding it back, freeing her hair to fall against her face.

She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear before using her fingers to comb out the knots and tangles. Not the best method, but it gave her idle fingers some work.

She did not like thinking of that night. The fall down the mountain, the harsh cold, having to dig Eugene and Lance from under the snow, _Fred almost falling off a cliff,_ the haunted look in Rapunzel’s eyes when she and Fred returned—

Arianna forced herself to take deep breaths. She came out here to relax, not stress over things that have already happened. She turned towards Rapunzel’s balcony again. Long, blonde hair draped from over the balcony ledge, blowing in the wind.

Warmth bloomed in her chest. She could just imagine Rapunzel’s nose scrunched up as she focused on the canvas, or sticking out her tongue as she painted small details of whatever she chose to paint. Arianna imagined her daughter humming as she swirled her paints onto the canvas, transforming it into something breathtaking.

It hurt her to see Rapunzel so downtrodden the last few weeks. The fact that Rapunzel’s pain triggered a painter’s block alarmed her. While Arianna wasn’t an artist herself, she had her moments when she needed to prepare speeches or write a letter and struggled to find the words. It frustrated her to no end, but for Rapunzel? Her lovely daughter almost always painting, sometimes covered in it? She would have torn her hair out if she was in her place.

Arianna groaned in a very unqueenly way before resting her head against the tree trunk. She brought her hands to her face and huffed in frustration. She came out here to relieve some stress and all she achieved was worry.

Worry for Rapunzel, worry for her husband, worry for her kingdom, and…

She moved away from the tree and laid in the grass, staring into the blue abyss above. Clouds as fluffy as Monty’s candy floss dotted the sea of molten blue. She did not confess this to anyone, not even her husband, but she worried for Rapunzel’s friend, Varian.

Logically, she knew she should be worried a _bout_ him and the threat he posed. However, she remembers Rapunzel singing the boys praises, especially after the science expo. How bright he was, how misunderstood, _how proud she was to have a friend like him—_

Arianna heard the rumors when they returned. How he attacked her. At first, she was horrified, but Rapunzel confided with her that all he did was ask for help. She had a feeling there was something more to it, but seeing her daughter so distressed made her pull back.

Then for her friend— _he’s not even fifteen years old why on earth—_ to do a complete turn around and commit _treason_ of all things.

It makes her wonder. Frederic told her and Rapunzel that he dealt with the aftermath. Did he really? Or did he try to cover it up? Arianna isn’t blind, she is aware of the black rocks despite how much her husband tries to hide them. She couldn’t decide if she should be touched at the concern of her safety or pissed because she wasn’t just his wife, _she was the queen_. They were _her_ subjects as well. They were supposed to rule Corona **_together._** Currently, she’s withholding judgment, but with his attitude of late, her temper is slowly but surely growing shorter with him.

Both steeled by determination, and sighing at the loss of a relaxing day, she rose from the ground with all the dignity a queen should have. Picking up her book of _Hamlet_ , she decided to walk through the flower garden before visiting her friend and blacksmith, Xavier.

She smiled as she walked through and out the flower garden. She loved the arrangement or oleander and monkshood, the colors both contrasting and complimenting each other. The powerful fragrance of begonias relaxed her tense muscles. The bright color of the small collection of marigolds soothed her worried mind, even if only a little bit.

A flash of white caught her eye. Right by the gate to the garden, was a single white chrysanthemum. Arianna was never one for superstition, but the flower…unnerved her. Fred refused to allow any chrysanthemums to grow in the garden, so to see one right by the gate was… odd. The last time she saw a chrysanthemum, well, it wasn’t a happy occasion.

Deciding to ignore the flower, she left the garden and walked to Xavier’s.

* * *

The goddess sighed from her abode. “Oh, Your Majesty. You have many things to worry about that you are not yet aware.” Her hand brushed to pet the white sow sitting faithfully at her feet.

Fate was a tricky thing, maintaining a delicate balance of what should or shouldn’t go wrong. What seems like a good thing for short term can have devastating effects down the line and she understands that. She is the goddess of the moon, ruler of magic and death, she has lived for eons and will continue to do so until the very last breath has been taken in the world of men.

So why should this fool Zhan Tiri decide the fate of the world? They are only human, warped by magic, anger, and the need for revenge, but human all the same. Cerridwen clicked her tongue as she watched her cauldron bubble like a spring.

They call death impatient. They say death is hungry for new life to devour. Fools, the lot of them. For death is inevitable. She has lived and will continue living until the world is no more. Cerridwen will wait until she takes what is rightfully hers. Yes, there is tragedy in what she does—she had little ones once—but to many, she is a relief.

There is nothing more she hates then the ridiculous wars of men.

A guttural croak of a raven from behind and the tenseness from her sow signaled her to stop stirring temporarily. “Sister,” she murmured to herself. “It isn’t often you come by to visit.” Cerridwen felt a rush of magic from behind, her visitor shifting forms.

“And miss this carriage wreck? Hardly.”

Cerridwen narrowed her eyes and faced her sister. _“Morrigan,”_ she warned.

Morrigan sighed and walked towards the cauldron, her cloak of raven feathers billowing behind her. “War is brewing on the horizon and you know it, _sister.”_ She hissed as she gripped the sides of the cauldron. “I can feel it pulsing in the air, the ground is already singing with the spilt blood of innocents—"

“I feel it too.”

Morrigan opened her mouth to retort, but quickly shut it. She fiddled with her dark braided hair. “…We do not directly interact with the mortal realm, Cerridwen.” She lightly scolded with a defeated air. “Remember the last?”

Cerridwen growled as she harshly stirred the cauldron in memory. “Do not remind me, I don’t want _any_ of your other aspects remind me either. It was a mistake I will never make again.”

Morrigan smiled with a predatory glint in her eye. “Oh? Do tell. What was it like to—?”

Cerridwen grunted in acknowledgment, interrupting the rest of the sentence. Her cheeks burned a brilliant shade of red against her skin. “Mistakes were made,” she responded lamely. She glared at her sister before flicking the cauldron’s liquid with her finger, ending the conversation. “Speaking of mistakes,” she started before Morrigan cut her off with a groan.

The liquid rose in the air before revealing a certain kingdom, with a certain infestation of rocks, with a certain _cage_ of said rock, with one brilliantly shining _moonstone in the center of it._ Morrigan swiped at the image, breaking it off. Cerridwen smiled bitterly as the image reformed right before their eyes.

“You were saying?”

Morrigan summoned a spear with her magic and shot it at the floating image, grinning in satisfaction as the image burst apart with no signs of reforming. Her sister pouted before returning to stir the cauldron. “If the image was so distressing to you, you should have said so.”

Morrigan rolled her eyes before joining her sister in watching the cauldron. They watched the silver liquid swirled with images that only the divine could comprehend. They watched for a few minutes. “The Moonstone and Sundrop should have never been created,” Morrigan whispered softly. “Belenus was a fool to give such a gift. You should have never been placed in such a position.”

Cerridwen nodded solemnly. “There must be balance. To give the gift of the Sundrop to man—”

“This is why you’re helping that mortal boy, isn’t it?”

Cerridwen stopped stirring, pursing her lips. Her hand reached for the comfort of her sow, who happily leaned into her touch. “Partly,” she responded curtly. Morrigan gave a knowing look but said nothing.

They continued to stand in silence as they watched the cauldron, their abode buzzing with magic. “Why are you here, Morrigan? Truly?” Cerridwen asked softly as she began stirring again. There was no need to be so quiet, she knew. They were alone with only magic as their witness. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel the situation called for it.

“You are playing with fire, sister.” Morrigan drummed her fingers on the edge of the cauldron. “You know how dangerous the Moonstone is—”

“Of course, I do!” Cerridwen snapped, eyes flashing. “I _created_ the hellish thing. I am aware of the risks. I know how much more work it has given you as well.” Her stirring of the cauldron grew jerky and erratic as she spoke.

Morrigan shrugged, the dark gleam of amour poked through her cloak. “Believe it or not sister, the Sundrop has given me more strife than your Moonstone, despite its… qualities.” Cerridwen stopped stirring. Snarling, she tossed her stirring stick aside and slammed her fists against the cauldron, an angry echo bouncing back.

“It wasn’t designed to be used in that way.”

“Maybe not, but it is.”

It didn’t matter that she knew what the mortals would use both of the items for, the wars they’d cause, the madness. She and Morrigan had seen it, but Belenus ignored their advice. He gave humanity a small drop of power from the sun, not knowing the chaos he would unleash. Cerridwen had felt the balance of the world tip over, and panicked.

“Perhaps,” she mused to her sister in sorrow. “If I had thought it through… planned more thoroughly…” Cerridwen felt her sister grab her hand and squeeze it gently.

“You did the right thing. If you had waited too long, the damage of the imbalance would have been irreversible. While we may share death, war is _my_ territory. Focus on your area and I’ll focus on mine.” Morrigan gave her hand another gentle squeeze before stepping back.

“Speaking of,” she began. “I have a war to get back to, several in fact.” Cerridwen gave a small smile as her sister gave an overdramatic bow before shifting back into a raven. Morrigan chirped once and flew away, no doubt to whatever war was plaguing the world this time.

She sighed, turning back to her cauldron. She glared at the image of the Moonstone, brightly shining, a beautiful yet deadly thing. “Wrongs shall be righted,” she murmured, striking at the image, banishing it from view. She could not destroy the stone herself, no matter how much she wanted to. Not without damaging the balance.

Fate is always changing, like a stream winding around rocks to arrive at its destination, or in this case, destiny. Cerridwen frowned as she stirred the cauldron, the Sundrop’s wielder swimming into view. Like water, fate adapts. “I hope you are as strong as they believe you are, wielder of the Sundrop,” she muttered deep in thought.

She could not interact directly with the mortal plane, but she could have a representative. The blessed boy was a good choice; and considering his lineage, it made it all the easier for her to work and keep an eye on him. After all, she made an oath to her daughter all those centuries ago. It would be a shame if she broke it now.

The image of the Sundrop’s wielder was replaced with the bo— _Varian—_ sleeping peacefully in a forge, his raccoon curled up by his side. An adorable picture. “Rest well, alchemist,” she cooed. “You’ll need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flowers are a language all on their own, aren't they :)
> 
> In case you missed something ^


	17. Slow Day Today, Isn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world seemed to hold its breath, the calm before a storm one could say. That could be a good thing, or a bad one depending who and where you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how much easier it is to write when that is literally the only thing you can do! Social distancing hello! But for real, wash your hands and stay safe please. Coronavirus is slippery. Happy reading!

Xavier considered himself an open-minded individual. After the tales he’s learned, in some cases _experienced_ , it was hard not to. After everything he’s seen, not many things shocked him anymore. The princess’s magical hair returns with no explanation? Alright, then; a gift from the gods no doubt.

Mysterious black rocks pop up at the borders? That reminds him of a legend from England he learned in his travels as a young man. Nothing he can’t handle.

_This_ however, was something new entirely.

A rather large falcon with feathers black as ash sat in front of his window. The bird’s black eyes stared straight at him, as if peering into his very soul. Xavier isn’t one to be unnerved so easily, but the aura this strange falcon gave off was…to simply put it, disturbing. Before he could get a closer look, it vanished. It didn’t jump up and take off or hop down from the window, it was just... _gone._ Xavier involuntarily shivered as chills ran up his spine.

He was never the superstitious type. Was he fascinated by concept? Most definitely. However, he would consider himself a fool if he didn’t take the bird’s visit as an omen. Whether or not it was a _good_ omen was debatable.

The chime of the doorbell pulled Xavier from his thoughts. Deciding to think on the omen later, he made his way to the front of the shop. The chime was loud and short with a loud **_SLAM!_** accompanying it. _The customer must be in a mood,_ he mused. He kept a special brew of tea for situations like this. It’s not the first time a customer has entered his shop in a tizzy.

Bringing out the tea, he stepped out front. “Greetings! How may I—” his voice trailed off at the sight of a distressed Queen Arianna. The moment she saw him enter, she relaxed her posture, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. Her Majesty pointedly looked away from the doorbell on the ground, a large crack from the impact on the ground.

“…I’ll pay for it,” she mumbled, her cheeks flushed. “My temper got the best of me, and I’m afraid I took it out on your door.” She fiddled with the hem of her dress in embarrassment. Xavier said nothing as he nodded. It wasn’t the first time this has happened, and it will hardly be the last.

He offered her the tea then excused himself to the back to fetch a spare bell. He lingered for a few moments longer than necessary, but he found that giving people some time to cool down made for better interactions. Once he found the bell, he grabbed a few of his tools and returned to the front.

“That is a first.”

The queen placed her face in her hands, thoroughly abashed.

Next to her, the pitcher of tea sat half empty, perhaps more. Xavier couldn’t stop the smile breaking through the formalities. “While I have been told that my tea is delicious, I’ve never seen anyone have more than…perhaps two cups a visit.”

Arianna couldn’t stop the snort from escaping, previous embarrassment forgotten. “Xavier, I know fully well what you put into this tea, and believe me when I say _I need it.”_ She calmly placed the cup to her lips, taking a long sip. Her eyes narrowed in challenge, as if daring Xavier to take the tea away.

Xavier lifted his hands in surrender, his laughter deep and booming. “I can always make more, Your Majesty.” He pulled up two chairs for them to sit, he couldn’t very well leave the queen to stand all day, now could he?

Arianna sighed. “There’s no need for formalities, Xavier. I thought we were past this,” She said in fond exasperation as she sat down on the offered chair. He only offered a teasing grin before sitting down himself.

She arched her brow, unspoken question ringing loud and clear. “Slow day today,” he shrugged, pouring some tea for himself. The queen nodded and let the matter go.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, drinking tea and listening to the ambiance of the town square. _It must be a slow day in general,_ the queen thought to herself. Not many people were out and about today, a few people out on errands but that was it.

“Slow day in Corona,” she muttered, placing her cup in her lap. Now that she thought about it, it was as if the world was holding its breath. The whispers on the streets, the echo of footsteps, the tension was as thick as the fog in an early autumn morning. Xavier hummed in agreement, sipping his own cup of tea.

“You’ve noticed it then as well?”

She bit her lip. _Had she?_ Subconsciously maybe. The way everyone looked over their shoulders or flinched at shadows, how tempers were shorter—her own included—and harsh whispered arguments were a new normal in the corridors of her home. The guards were stiff, strong and determined as usual, but there was a fire in her husband’s eyes that she didn’t realize was there until looking back on it.

If she hadn’t had so much of that tea, her hands would probably be shaking.

They were tense. Why? Had she missed something when she returned? It couldn’t be because—

The realization wanted to tear her heart out. “He’s a child,” she whispered. “He’s just a child, he’s not some…some _boogeyman_ that lives in the closet.” She took her cup and placed it on the ground beside her, deciding she had enough tea for that day.

Xavier calmly set his cup down as well. “He’s a child that drugged your entire staff and visiting nobility with truth serum and managed to break into the royal vault.”

The queen wanted to protest, but no words would leave her mouth. “Your Majesty,” Xavier warned. “Be careful, or you might catch flies.”

Arianna took in a deep breath and righted her posture. “…This still isn’t right.” She had a duty to her people, and wasn’t Varian one of her people? At the same time, she can’t ignore the threat he has become to the rest of her subjects.

The needs of many over the needs of one.

But what if helping the one could benefit the many?

“I hate politics,” she sighed, picking her cup back up and pouring more tea.

* * *

“I hate politics,” Varian grumbled to himself as he used the forest shade to conceal himself from stragglers. They were **slandering** his name. _Lock your doors Susie, or the mad wizard will kill you in your sleep! Shut the windows or he’ll slice your throat in the night!_

_I heard he uses children for his experiments!_

_He tried to turn the princess into one of his minions!_

_He destroyed his village including his father!_

He wanted to scream.

How he _hated_ the king. Varian knew what this was. He was using a fear-mongering tactic to shift the focus off the rocks and on to _him_ because Varian wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. _It might also be the fact you broke into the royal vault and manipulated the princess into helping you,_ he thought viciously. While that might also be a factor, did he really have to dredge up his past failures? Did the king seriously think he _murdered_ his own father?

He needed to get out of this kingdom.

Cerridwen—and actual _goddess holy s—_ had shown what would have happened if he hadn’t found Amber Glass. He was both awed and horrified.

* * *

_“Ok, while making and piloting_ _an automaton would be awesome—like holy crap—I don’t want to be arrested for property damage.”_

_Varian and Cerridwen watched one of the paths that could have been to see if they could get any ideas on how to get the princess to leave Corona and follow the rocks. Cerridwen arched her brow. “You would rather be arrested for treason?”_

_Varian sputtered but ignored the goddess’s light teasing. It helped him relax anyways. “How did I even do that? I don’t have access to the chamber to draw up a blueprint or the ability to get the parts and stuff.” He couldn’t help but feel slightly salty that the other Varian was able to build an automaton_ , SEVERAL _in fact!_

_“I… I just…HOW?!”_

_“You used tunnels of course.”_

_Varian spun towards the goddess. “Tu…WE HAVE TUNNELS TO THE CASTLE FROM OLD CORONA?!”_

_Cerridwen smirked. “Of course, blessed one. Did you think they were exclusive to the castle?”_

_He didn’t deign that with a response._

* * *

So yeah, he was still bitter about that, but at least he had a plan now. Scratch that, two plans. He had two plans now. His satchel dug in his shoulder despite its light weight, the letter’s metaphorical weight most likely the cause.

Rudiger had scrambled ahead of him, keeping a lookout for threats. The raccoon had puffed out his chest with pride when Varian asked him to, eagerly chittering away before going silent as a predator on the prowl. He didn’t want to ask Rudiger to do that—despite him being more than happy to. He didn’t want Rudiger to get hurt because of him. Varian shivered in disgusted remembrance at the fate of his furry friend in other timelines.

He couldn’t decide what was worse, Varian _intentionally_ mutating Rudiger into some hulking monster, or Rudiger dying because of it. Some of the timelines he got off ok, a little worse for wear but fine. Others…

The sound of Rudiger’s shrill screeches and growls as he was poisoned made Varian sick.

He hadn’t believed it when the goddess showed him—not one, but _multiplie—_ timelines that he intentionally experimented on his first— _and ONLY—_ friend for a plan that was scarily similar to the one he had created. Just how far had his counterparts gone around the bend to get to that point mentally?

_No,_ he told himself as he reached the outskirts of the capital. _They might be his counterparts, but they’re not him._ He had one thing that his counterparts didn’t, a support system and a goddess on his side. Rudiger wasn’t going to be experimented on, and Varian wasn’t going to let himself get arrested.

His stomach did flips as he reached the city line, Rudiger looking back at him eagerly. Varian smiled nervously as the raccoon scurried toward him and climbed up on his shoulder in no time at all. “At least we’re together,” he whispered to his companion, scratching him under his chin.

If this plan goes awry and it all goes to dung, at least he had Rudiger and his friends from Amber Glass.

The thought of Amber Glass and the letter in his satchel only renewed the nervousness and urgency. “I trust Jabari, and Jabari trusts Xavier, so that means I can trust him because Jabari trusts him, right?” Rudiger cooed and rubbed his cheek against Varian’s in reassurance. With a smile on his face, Varian and Rudiger vanished into the shadows of alleyways and buildings, destination clear in mind.

* * *

Outside of Corona’s walls, three somewhat ex-cons slowly spread the word of King Frederic and his dubious actions concerning his kingdom. Currently, the three were enjoying a pint at a tavern in Arendelle. Horace was disappointed that the princesses hadn’t been seen in years—apparently, the gates had been shut since they were children—but comforted himself that the area was beautiful, bountiful, full of gullible people, and most important of all…

The place was filled with booze.

Griselda pushed away his flagon and smacked his hand down. “One, Horace,” she hissed, lips curled into a snarl. _“One.”_

“But _Zelda!”_ he whined, trying to grab his flagon back. “It’s actually _good_ here.” Horace leaned forward to try and grab the handle, but Jabari calmly slid the flagon further away.

“While that is true, my friend,” Jabari began as he nursed his own flagon. “You must consider the fact that we’ve grown accustom to Coronan ale. Because of famine caused by the rocks, the quality of the alcohol gradually declined.” Jabari took one long sip of his ale before setting it down with a _clink._ He raised a brow at the slight glazed look of intoxication in Horace’s eyes. “…Horace?” Jabari poked Horace’s cheek, but Horace weakly pushed his hand away.

“Could…” Horace hiccupped before trying to reach Jabari’s flagon. “Couldja spare a _*hic*_ couple sips Jubjub birdie ̴”

Jabari sighed and slid his flagon away from Horace’s hand. “You’ve gone soft.” He said in slight teasing, but his concern rang loud for all to hear…that knew him anyways.

Griselda wrinkled her nose in disgust but hoisted Horace up, draping his arm around her shoulder. “I think that’s enough ale for you, lad. Let’s go get you washed up and then we can hit the hay, don’t that sound nice?”

Horace muttered something about building up a tolerance, but then he mentioned something about an ancient monkey telling fortunes so Griselda brushed it off as drunken ramblings.

Jabari stood up and dusted himself off, taking Horace’s other arm over his shoulder. “It’s probably for the best, Griselda. There’s an illness flying around that’s making it hard to breathe. You and Horace are the most vulnerable.” Griselda snorted, gently guiding her boys out of the tavern.

“I get why I’m at risk, I’m not as young as I used to be, but why’s Horace at risk?” They awkwardly shuffled out the door and onto the street, walking north towards the inn they were staying. The warm summer breeze gently swayed the flyaway hairs that fell from her bun. The scent of smoke from lanterns and the ocean from the nearby port sent chills—good ones—down her spine. This really was a lovely town.

Besides a few people, most likely travelers, sailors, and merchants, the streets were practically deserted. “Horace has asthma, despite the fact that he claims he out grew it,” Jabari grunted as Horace started to lean heavily against him, thankful that the streets were empty making it much easier to drag him home.

Griselda opened her mouth in surprise. “…He hides it well,” she muttered to herself as they turned onto a corner, the inn just a few buildings down. Jabari nodded, readjusting his friend until his weight was evenly distributed. “The only reason I know is because I met him during one of his attacks.”

Griselda’s lips thinned to a line but she said nothing. They walked the rest of the way to the inn in companionable silence, besides Horace’s mutterings. As they reached the door to the inn, Horace burst into childish giggles.

Griselda couldn’t help but smile in amusement. “Well, lad. What’s got you laughing?”

“What…What if we called the illness _corona virus._ Because Corona is sucks!”

Jabari snorted but tried to cover it up as a cough. Griselda, slightly tipsy but not enough to make a fool of herself, couldn’t hide the giggles that suddenly surface from her own mouth. “It’d be best if you keep that sort of nonsense to yourself, Horace. There are plenty of Corona supporters in this area.”

Horace, suddenly serious, nodded. “Of course. My apologies. We’ll call it Frederic virus instead.”

The ex-cons filled the inn with their unrestrained howls of laughter.


	18. Tea, Anyone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian makes it to the forge, delivers the letter, begs not to be arrested, then passes out. 
> 
> Arianna is left with the decisions that she doesn't know which ones are the right ones.
> 
> Xavier is just watching this go down. He's seen worse. Maybe if he could get this stick thin child some soup then he'll be able to properly tell him what the heck is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out I suck at online college. At least for now. I'm getting better at it. The stress of online college, social distancing, and other personal stuff made looking at my computer cause me to feel ill. SO here it is! A week late! at least I posted this before April fools THANK. 
> 
> Also, is it normal to want to slam your face into the keyboard?

Varian’s stomach flipped as he inched closer to the blacksmith’s forge. Xavier’s forge. He nervously pet Rudiger on the head as he tried to swallow back his nausea. He considered going ahead and bolting—maybe head to Arendelle to see if his friends were there—but Jabari’s written word and Cerridwen’s visions of other timelines said that Xavier would be a useful ally.

It was an unusual stroke of luck and misfortune that had him choose today. There were less people out and about to recognize him, but less people meant hiding in plain sight was more difficult. It was a difficult balance of walking causally and ducking into the shadows without looking to suspicious.

Who was he kidding? If the guards actively searched for him, they would have found him in seconds. As it was, they jumped at shadows and flinched at sudden noises, keeping the hands on their swords at all times. What did they think he would do? Hide in the bushes and scream _ARRGH!_ at the top of his lungs? Although the thought was tempting—oh, so tempting—he restrained himself.

Rudiger gently nudged him on the cheek, nodding towards the forge. The hairs on the back of Varian’s neck stood on end as if saying _turn back now while you still can!_

But he wouldn’t. He was done running. Isn’t that what he told his Dad? That running away wouldn’t solve the issue? Talking with Cerridwen about learning from his mistakes was a wake-up call he didn’t know he needed until it slapped him in the face.

Steeling himself—though that didn’t stop the internal screaming every step of the way—he sprinted to the forge and slammed the door behind him, panting heavily. He was slightly thrown off from the lack of shop bell, but considering the shocked face of what he assumed to be Xavier and some other woman, they didn’t need it.

The speech he had mentally prepared for this moment vanished, leaving him gaping like a fish and feeling ridiculous. He struggled to find the right—no— _any words_ to say, but what could you say in a situation like this? _Excuse me, Mr. Xavier, so sorry to intrude, but I need your help to help me escape Corona and possibly free my father. Oh! And to guide Rapunzel out of the kingdom to follow the black rocks so she can fulfill her destiny, otherwise, the world could be plunged into the apocalypse. How do I know this? Cerridwen, the celtic goddess of the moon told me in a dream! Don’t worry, your relative Jabari told me to give you this letter, and can assure you that I am perfectly sane of mind. Please don’t arrest me._

Well, maybe not perfectly sane, but the outcome would be the same.

So, instead, he handed Xavier the letter. “Please, By the sun of Corona I beg you, _don’t arrest me.”_ Varian begged as he sank to the floor on his knees. “I know I screwed up big time, but in my defense, I have been in forced isolation for _months_ with only a raccoon and my father encased in amber for company. I didn’t get any human interaction until recently but that was after the whole “Sundrop fiasco—”

The words just kept spilling from his mouth despite every bone in his body screaming at him to _shut up for one second._ He doesn’t know when he started crying, but he kept going and going and _going._

The rumors, the mob, the letters, and the failed visits to plead his case _._ Everything. People wanted him _dead,_ as in _dead-dead._ Varian didn’t want to die! He had too much to live for, so many experiments to do! Not to mention, there were the dreams and visions that he couldn’t discern one from the other. That _terrified_ him. _And contact with a goddess?!_ That’s just as insane as it was cool. Bad things happened when the divine get involved.

All the pain and hurt poured out like a never-ending stream and he could barely breathe. His words became unintelligible as he broke down. _It was too much._ It slowly sank in how much he was at the mercy of this man, this stranger. He should have left to join the others, yeah, they left him, but at least they had _good freaking reasons._

His friends abandoned him! His village! The only human that seemed to care about him in Corona was currently trapped in amber. Just because his relationship with his dad isn’t as stellar as he wanted it to be, doesn’t mean he doesn’t _care._

He wished the princess never visited him that day.

Varian jerked in surprise as a warm cup of tea was placed into his hands. Xavier had one hand on Varian’s shoulder and the other holding the cup steady. “Drink,” Xavier softly commanded as he lifted the cup to Varian’s lips. “It will help you calm down.”

Varian didn’t fight back, allowing for the scents of citrus and chamomile to assault his nose before taking a sip. “Good boy,” Xavier murmured as he took the cup away. “Now, I need you to follow my breathing pattern, can you do that for me, Varian?” Xavier took Varian’s hand and placed it on his chest, taking a deep breath.

Varian copied.

They went back and forth for a while. He was dimly aware that a blanket was draped over his shoulders, and Rudiger found some way into his lap, but that didn’t distract him from following Xavier’s instruction.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

Xavier gently grasped Varian’s hand. “Are you ready to start again?” he asked. Varian blinked in confusion. _Start again? Why pull my hand away if you wanted me to start again?_ Rudiger patted his abdomen in reassurance, chittering softly.

“I…”

He didn’t have any words. Even if he did, he didn’t know what to _say._

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so, so _sorry._ ”

Rudiger curled against his abdomen, offering silent support. Slender arms wrapped tenderly across his middle, too feminine to be Xavier. He looked over his shoulder to see the woman from earlier, trying to comfort him. Her hug wasn’t as tight as Zelda’s or as rough as Horace’s, it was tender, yet firm. _She looks like Rapunzel,_ he thought in a haze as he succumbed to sleep.

* * *

“Your Majesty?”

“Hmm?” Arianna looked away from the sleeping alchemist and his raccoon in her arms. It had seemed perfectly natural to try and comfort him; however, in hindsight, she had been hasty. What if it had been a trap? As loathed as she was to think it of the possibility, that was what it was. “Are you going to reprimand me, my friend?”

Xavier shook his head and smiled. “Hardly. It is above my station to do so. In fact, I would have done the same. You just beat me to it.” He stuffed the letter—Arianna had forgotten it for a moment—inside his apron pocket before humming. “We should get him someplace more comfortable.”

Arianna nodded in agreement. “Excuse me,” She whispered to the raccoon. The furry thing cocked its head but didn’t move from Varian’s lap. “I’m sorry, but Xavier and I want to get him somewhere comfortable. Could you hop off for moment while we get him situated? Then you two can snuggle to your hearts content.”

The raccoon narrowed its eyes, clearly weighing his options, before crawling off Varian’s lap. His line of sight never strayed from Varian, however. Arianna didn’t know how to feel about that. It was clear to her that the raccoon was to Varian as Pascal was to Rapunzel; and while there is nothing _wrong_ with that per se, the raccoon eyed her just as suspiciously as Pascal had done the first few weeks they stayed in the castle.

_What had that boy gone through?_

As soon as the raccoon had left Varian’s lap, Xavier scooped Varian from hers. “I have a bed in the back of the shop,” he said as he adjusted Varian to a bridal style position. “I will let him rest there and put some soup on the stove. He’s much too thin for a boy his age. What are you going to do?”

Arianna raised her brows, her mouth dropped open a fraction before she righted herself. “I don’t unders—”

“You are the queen, are you not?” he asked, amused. “Are you going to order the guards to collect him?”

She couldn’t help but sputter in surprise. “Wh— of course not! Look at him, Xavier. He’s hardly in any condition to be sent to the guards.” She bit her lip, fiffling with the hem of her sleeve. “Besides, with all the rumors flying around, I think it would be best in the interest for his safety to recover.” She couldn’t help but sigh. “What does it say about me as a queen if I do not trust they would handle him correctly and without bias?”

Xavier hummed, deep in thought as he stared at the boy in his arms. “I think, considering the circumstances, the bias is too great against him. It has nothing to do with you as a queen. It was his actions that caused this, not you.”

“My inaction forced him to play his hand.”

“You can hardly be blamed for recovering after the storm.”

The queen sighed and turned to leave the shop. “I will return, hopefully with some fruit, maybe a pastry of some sort.” She called before pulling the handle of the door.

“Arianna.”

She looked over her shoulder to see her friend watch her with concern. “Be careful,” Xavier asked.

Arianna nodded before leaving the forge.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. Rapunzel had requested to eat in her room, leaving her and Fred alone to have dinner in the pavilion. Her spoon clicked against the bowl as she swirled her tomato bisque anxiously. _You’re being ridiculous, Arianna. He’s your husband! He loves you and would never hurt you,_ she scolded herself.

“Is everything all right, my love?” Fred asked her gently. “You haven’t touched your food.”

She couldn’t hold back the snort at the déjà vu. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. There’s just a lot on my mind at the moment.” She took a sip of the bisque and grinned, ignoring the curdling in her belly. “See? I’m fine.”

Fred raised his brow, clearly not believing her, but left it be. “If you say so, dear.”

Dinner was a quiet affair.

* * *

_She woke up to screaming. Shout of terror and pain as people ran through the halls, guards, servants, and civilians alike as the castle slowly crumbled around him. Arianna ran, trying to find someone who knew anything._

_Somewhere in the crowd, she spotted the captain. “CAPTAIN!” she shouted. “WHAT’S GOING ON?” but he didn’t hear her and disappeared. Arianna swore to herself as she tried to find an exit. She tried the windows, but unlike her daughter, she didn’t have hair long enough to lower herself to the ground. She needed to find another way._

_Then the walls crashed down around her._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_She blinked._

_._

_._

_She…she blinked? Shouldn’t she be dead?_

_Arianna took a minute to get her bearings straight. She was on a hill, it was night, and slightly windy. That didn’t help much. She heard faint screaming coming from the north but when she turned—_

_Oh._

_Oh no._

_Corona. It… It was Corona, completely destroyed by the black rocks. She saw the dim lights of torches in the distance, meaning survivors, but how could Corona come back from this? The rocks skewered the kingdom into a pile of rubble. It could take years, decades even, to rebuild._

_One thing stood out among the rest, a tiny figure surround with gold floated alone. Arianna’s breath caught in her throat. “Not my baby,” she whispered. “Please, no.”_

_“Do you see what could become?”_

_A woman cloaked in green appeared next to Arianna, icy blue eyes watching over the ruined kingdom. “Do you see what happens if she remains here? Your husband, despite his good intentions, is making decisions that will ruin your kingdom, and in turn, your family. A spirit like hers is not meant to be contained, especially with the power your daughter wields.” The woman’s voice was clipped, devoid of all comfort, unyielding._

_Condescending._

_Arianna faced the woman, eyes narrowing. “What do you know of my husband? My family?”_ What do you know of my daughter, _the real question, roared as loud as the stormy winds around them; despite being unspoken._

_“Enough.”_

_Arianna couldn’t help but snarl in agitation, the audacity! “What do you know of my daughter? You think I wanted this? For her?” She gestured to her dying kingdom, her daughter all alone. She didn’t deserve this; Rapunzel didn’t deserve this. How could this woman think she condoned this? “I want Rapunzel to be free! I want her to go where the wind takes her, explore everything—”_

_“With you.”_

_Arianna’s jaw clicked shut in shock. The wind still blew wild, untamed, but the woman’s words rang all too loud. Her facial expression softened, blue eyes still icy, but not cold. The screams of the crowd had faded to silence, deafened by the oncoming storm. “Yes,” Arianna said softly. “With me. Is that so wrong?”_

_The wind started to die down, but the woman’s cloak and dark hair still billowed as if the wind commanded it to. “Nothing is wrong with a mother wanting to show their child the world, but she is not the little baby you once held in your arms.” The woman smoothed her cloak and dress as Arianna stilled in shock. “She is on the verge of adulthood and needs to come into her own.”_

_“Rapunzel is independent,” Arianna snapped. How could she not? It took Rapunzel weeks to realize that she didn’t need to depend on herself to make lunch, clean her home—the poor thing had tried to clean the_ entire _castle herself, and other things. Rapunzel is independent. She learned to cook and clean and keep herself occupied—_

_The woman nodded. “She is, and she isn’t. She can take care of herself, but before you and your husband made her queen for a day, how many major decisions did she decide for herself? Before she left the tower, she had no say in what was for dinner, what she could learn, what activities she was permitted to do. She didn’t have a door in the tower, she had a curtain. She couldn’t make the decision to shut Gothel out because she wasn’t given the choice. She hid her friend Pascal from her, why? He’s just a chameleon.”_

_The woman smiled cruelly, her eyes steeling. “The girl had plenty of chances to leave the tower before her eighteenth birthday, why didn’t she take them?” She leaned in close to Arianna, causing the hair on her neck to stand on end. “What will you do, Mortal Mother of the Sundrop? Will you let her come into her own, or will you hold her back, and be left forgotten in the dust?”_

* * *

Arianna jerked awake, clutching her chest and breathing heavily. Her hair clung to her face and she shivered at the cool breeze blowing through her window. She cast a look over her shoulder to see her husband peacefully asleep, albeit snoring heavily. She rolled her eyes in fondness and slipped out of bed, adjusting the covers so her husband would be covered.

She tiptoed out of the bedroom, mindful of the guards that would be patrolling, and quietly slipped into the hallways. She didn’t _need_ to sneak around in the hallways, she was the _queen._ But she couldn’t help but feel…well… _safer_ when she did so. She pressed herself against the wall as two guardsmen came walking by, the heavy clunk of their armor echoing in the hall. She breathed a sigh a relief, and made her way to the kitchens.

Apparently, she wasn’t alone in the idea.

“Good evening, Eugene.”

The man in question gave a startled yelp and jumped back in surprise, little splashes of tea splattered on the floor. “Oh ah—” Eugene cleared his throat and dusted himself off. “Good evening, Your Majesty.” He hastily put down his cup and gave the best grin he could muster. Arianna couldn’t help frown at how _tired_ he looked. “How…” He sighed and grabbed his cup before sitting down. “If I may, why are you up so late? _Not_ that I’m judging you or anything—I’d be a hypocrite if I was—but it’s concerning to see you alone this late…or early? It’s early enough to say morning, right?”

_“Eugene,”_ Arianna gently called to get his attention. Eugene stopped rambling, his cheeks flushing as he went to sip his cup of tea. “More than likely,” she began, allowing her exhaustion to tinge her words. “I came to the kitchens for the same reasons you did.”

“Thirst?” He tried to play off.

Cheeky, that man was.

“Nightmares,” she deadpanned. Eugene flinched but said nothing, choosing instead to take another sip of tea. His evasion of the topic confirmed her suspicious.

Arianna took a seat at the table, drumming her fingers on it. “…I never took you for a tea drinker,” she stated simply. “You look more like a coffee person to me.”

Eugene set his cup down, with an _actual_ smile on his face this time. “Y’know, you aren’t the first person to say that. I—actually—am a man of many tastes. I don’t confine myself to the limits of only coffee or tea. Both are great and taste _fantastic_ if done right. Have I told you about the time I got lost in a tea store in France? It’s a great story let me tell ya—”

Arianna listened as he told the intriguing story— _“I’m sorry, the cat did what?” “I know! I couldn’t believe it either!”—_ and many others of his exploits until the sun began to rise. They parted ways to get some semblance of sleep before the day truly started, but not without warm goodbyes.

Eugene was a good man, she mused. She couldn’t imagine anyone else better for Rapunzel. She couldn’t help the falter in her step as she grew closer to her bedroom. Eugene encouraged Rapunzel to make her own choices, supporting her every step of he way. He was patient with her, and though they had disagreements—honestly, who didn’t these days? —they worked through them.

In all honesty, she couldn’t help but feel mildly jealous. Her dream from last night resurfaced in her mind. _“What will you do, Mortal Mother of the Sundrop? Will you let her come into her own, or will you hold her back, and be left forgotten in the dust?”_

She didn’t shiver from the cold.

Was Arianna being selfish, wanting to explore the world with her? Or maybe it wasn’t that, but rather…

_She was afraid that if she didn’t go with her, Rapunzel might not come back._

* * *

Cerridwen couldn’t help but grin in pleasure. This mortal woman was smart, smarter than what she’s had to deal with in the past. If the queen acted on her warning, then perhaps the world wasn’t as doomed as it could be. “Soon,” she murmured to her simmering cauldron, images flashing wildly. “Balance shall be restored.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET IT? Because there's tea and then there's some TEA? No?
> 
> I'm trying guys.


	19. The End is Nigh! (Or It Will Be Soon I Guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian awakes in Xavier's forge. He gets to know the man a little better and contemplates how to explain his plans with a push from a certain moon goddess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE! Seriously though, I had to do college online and it made me ill to look at the computer for too long. I have an exam coming up and I really shouldn't be procrastinating like this but I felt guilty watching this go on hiatus for so long without warning. I have been nose deep in textbooks that I think I'm going to have to rewatch the series to get a feel for the characters again. 
> 
> ANYWAYS
> 
> Please don't expect a solid updating schedule. I am doing this because its fun and it helps improve my writing skills. For all of you who have stuck by so far thank you!!!! I am so overjoyed!! I think its kinda short but at least I got it out.

Colors swirled above his head, the world tilted off kilter, and don’t get him started on sounds. Varian felt as if he landed in some alien dimension. A furry mass laid next to him, but he couldn’t decide if that was Rudiger or a bunched-up piece of a fur blanket. Anytime he tried to sit up, his bed would rock as if he was on stormy seas. He groaned in frustration and nausea.

Something warm was placed in his lap with an item forced into his hand. What did this mysterious entity want him to do? Probably stab it.

So, he did.

_“n **O,** ”_ a distorted voice scolded, taking away the item in his hand. _“s **CO**_ **o** _P. **”**_

The item was placed back into his hand, but the entity guided Varian’s hand to “scoop” whatever was warm. Not knowing what it was or why this mysterious person wanted him to scoop, he turned the item and heard the _spoosh_ noise of thick liquid. Varian was well acquainted with this noise, due to his experiments. Why did he need to scoop?

**_“n_** _O,_ ** _”_** the voice sighed tiredly, before taking back the item; permanently this time. Varian thought that the entity would disappear then, since he didn’t give it what it wanted, but a firm pressure on both sides of his jaw forced his mouth open.

Blind panic filled his veins. He tried to struggle against his captor, but his movements were sluggish and his arms were made of lead. Time sloshed around him. He didn’t know how long he struggled until a warm, savory taste splashed against his tongue. Varian’s struggles grew weak.

Then there was darkness.

* * *

When he awoke once more, the world had righted itself. Sure, his head still spun a little, and noises were still painfully loud, but this felt more what he imagined hangover would feel like. Note to self: create a hangover cure.

“I wasn’t aware you drank,” a low, rumbly voice chuckled in amusement.

Had he said that out loud?

“Indeed.”

Varian blinked and found himself in a bed, covered with a fur blanket. Rudiger slept curled in a ball by his side. Next to the bed, was a tall, dark skinned man with a gray head of hair and bushy beard. _Xavier,_ his mind reminded.

Xavier offered him a glass of water from the nightstand. It was then that Varian noticed how _dry_ his mouth was. His tongue felt like sandpaper as he licked his cracked lips. He winced at the metallic taste of blood and downed it with the offered water, ignoring Xavier’s fond stare.

“Good?” The blacksmith asked. “You look as if you haven’t had anything to drink in days.”

Varian tried not to flinch, but he could tell Xavier noticed. His eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed, and he clasped his hands together and rested them under his chin. The concern and worry practically _oozed_ off this man. Varian wanted to reassure him. This was the first time in since the amber glass departure that someone _cared._ “The well in my village—what’s left of it anyway—is drying up.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, toying with the odd blue streak he had from birth. “I’ve been rationing it, alternating between fruit juice and weak wine to make sure I don’t drink too much water. I still have to ration _those_ drinks as well. So, I guess I’m slightly dehydrated?”

Xavier looked even more concerned…and unimpressed? What?

“What?” Varian asked defensively. “It’s not like a could go to the river alone. One, it’s an hour there and an hour back. Two, there’s a price of my head, even before the whole Sundrop thing. They thought I attacked the princess!”

“You didn’t?”

Varian huffed, arms crossed and highly appalled. But… Xavier didn’t look like he was judging, just seeking out answers. He looked thoughtful of all things.

_“No,”_ Varian stressed. “I didn’t. I asked her for _help_. She couldn’t at the time because of the storm and I understand that, but why didn’t she come after? If she couldn’t come herself, why not send…I don’t know a guard or something to see what’s going on?” Rudiger started rouse from his slumber, laying his head on Varian’s lap. Without thinking, Varian slowly pet him, relaxing as he felt Rudiger’s dense fur.

“I thought she was my friend.” It was a soft whisper, but that sentence seemed to echo through the room. Rudiger cooed in reassurance.

Xavier said nothing. His posture slouched forward and his fingers combed through his beard, but he said nothing. He kept his eyes on Varian the whole time. Varian squirmed at the growing silence and the awkward staring. Rudiger climbing onto his lap was his only source of comfort—that he acknowledged anyway.

“You mentioned something about your father when you arrived. Am I right by saying you asked Princess Rapunzel for help on whatever befell him?” Xavier questioned gently, breaking the awkward silence.

Varian froze, his hand hovering just above Rudiger’s head. He sighed and lowered his hand onto the bed. “…yes.” The word was weak. _He_ was weak. But he said it.

“Why?” It was a simple question. In another world, Varian was sure that the answer was just as simple. But… he gave his word. If there was one thing that his parents taught him, it wasn’t to be an oath breaker.

“I…I can’t say.” Would it help if he did? He didn’t exactly _promise._

**_“You can count on me.”_ **

But that’s just as good as, isn’t it?

Varian groaned in frustration, holding his face in his hands. Rudiger tapped his arm and rubbed against his side. Thank stars and skies above for Rudiger. It’s not like he _didn’t_ want to tell Xavier. He did! It would make this whole thing _way_ easier. Sure, he probably would have gotten involved with the rocks even without the princess, but he couldn’t deny that she was the catalyst to his interest.

Speaking of Xavier, where did he go?

Varian had been so consumed with frustration that he didn’t notice when Xavier left the room. What happened to his situational awareness? He was better than this. _I’m so disappointed in you,_ a voice sounding suspiciously like Dad whispered in his mind. “Great,” he mumbled. “My own mind turned against me.”

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?”

Varian shrieked in surprise at Xavier’s sudden reappearance, falling off the bed. The blankets tangled around him as he fought to stand upright. Xavier gave a booming laugh; slapping is knee. “D-Don’t do that!” Varian sputtered; his cheeks painted bright red. He shrugged off the blankets and glared at Xavier.

Xavier meanwhile, watched him in amusement. “I apologize for frightening you, young man. I left to put the kettle on the stove for some tea. I also have some leftover soup from a few hours ago warming up.”

Varian narrowed his eyes but said nothing, choosing to hop back on the bed. He hadn’t paid much attention to the room before, but now he allowed himself to let his eyes roam. It was neat and orderly. A small fireplace on one wall, a stove with a pile of fire wood next to it on the other, a small table in the center of the room, and small—organized—piles of clutter scattered throughout the area. Not a big place to live, but this place was one of convenience, not luxury.

“It’s homey,” he muttered to himself, stroking Rudiger’s fur once more. “I like it.”

Xavier nodded in thanks and sat down on the other side of the bed. “Thank you. I find it easier to go to work if I live there, rather than getting up before dawn to travel from a house a few miles away. Some of the other shopkeepers here do the same.”

Varian nodded in acknowledgement. “That makes sense. The temptation to skip a day of work would be null if you were already there.” Xavier hummed in agreement before the high pitch whistle of the kettle called. He reassured Varian that he would be back with tea and leftover soup before he shuffled away to the kitchen area.

_Tell him what we spoke of,_ Cerridwen’s voice whispered in Varian’s ear once he was gone.

Varian stopped questioning the mechanics of the magical idiocy he’s been put through a while ago. So, it didn’t faze him when the welsh goddess of the moon started to whisper to him once Xavier left the room. “Hey, uh, no offense but how do I tell him about _that_ without sounding like a raving lunatic?” He whispered harshly underneath his breath.

The goddess didn’t take offense to his sharp tone, or if she did, she decided to bring retribution at a later time. _Simply speak of what we discussed in the astral realm. If you need help, blessed one, then I will help guide you._

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” Rudiger cocked his head in question brushed against Varian’s body, staring at the ceiling. Varian was mildly surprised that his friend could hear the goddess, it made him feel somewhat saner.

_He will, my champion. I will make it so._

Varian bit his lip as he fiddled with the end of his shirt. The last part sounded kind of ominous, but it was reassuring none the less, so he rolled with it. But a part of him worried _. What the heck did she mean? She wouldn’t hurt him, would she?_

_I will not, little alchemist. Do try and have more faith in me._

Varian flushed but kept his head high. He couldn’t help but be a little rattled though. “Okay, time to scream the end is nigh.” Rudiger watched him with concern, placing his paw over Varian’s heart.

Varian snorted. “At least I got you.”

He hoped that would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom, Plot! I think. I'm bad a judging. Lets just hope I make it through the rest of the quarter and see. I really love this fic and the fact I got this far astounds me. Thank you all so much for your support!


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